There is no evidence that alcohol can increase sexual satisfaction
directly in either sex, and at increasing doses it becomes
distinctly anaphrodisiac in men. That said, let's turn
to Tim Meadows' Saturday Night Live character, Leon Phelps,
otherwise known as Ladies'
Man. Leon smiles and raises his eyebrows as he beckons
guests into his love crib. "I've got my Courvoisier right
here, ooh yeahh," he coos.
Ladies' Man isn't above using alcohol's primarily sedative
qualities as an aphrodisiac, and neither are we. The muscle-relaxant
effect of drink, the universal solvent, can indeed be a
very good thing--but beware too much of a good thing this
Valentine's Day, lest you find yourself in the situation
described by the Porter in Macbeth: "It provokes and unprovokes;
it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance."
Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, owned a magical belt
considered the most powerful aphrodisiac of all time. We
mortals, however, have to rely on more practical things.
Here are a few ways to make your Valentine burn, sweat and
faint with distraction.
* Try Damiana. This liqueur from Mexico is derived from
the root of the damiana plant, long thought to be an aphrodisiac.
Indeed the bottle is shaped like a curvy female torso, alluding
to the stimulating properties within. Few have actually
tried the stuff; no one I spoke to could attest to its powers.
Check www.damiana.net
for recipes.
* At pan-Asian restaurant and house of style Saucebox,
the bar manager is concocting a few special cocktails this
Valentine's Day; among them is the smoked oyster martini
served with a black olive garnish. Lovers can also try the
Pink Pussycat, a potion of pineapple- and pomegranate-infused
vodkas mixed with fresh lemon and lime. Served in a stemless
round bowl, it should be purrrfect for two.
* Pepé Ruiz, legendary bartender at West Hollywood's
Chasen's, made a famous drink called the Flame of Love Martini.
Its dramatic preparation involved a glass-coating swirl
of sherry, ignited orange peels and four fingers of vodka.
For a close approximation, why not spark your flame at Huber's
with a Spanish coffee? Dig the Philippine mahogany bar,
and don't forget to tip the man who makes your tableside
drink.
* If you and your Valentine plan to stay in, go for the
bubbly. Champagne in moderate doses doesn't have the same
sedative properties as other alcohol, so it's probably the
most likely to be successful as an aphrodisiac. The British
painter Francis Bacon was fond of this toast: "Champagne
for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends." Probably
not the right sentiment for Valentine's Day. Soft lights,
relaxing music and subtle perfumes are more like it. If
none of this works, flip on the TV for reruns of SNL.
Next week: A review of Russian vodkas in honor of
the Stroganoff
exhibit. Na Zdarovya!
Best New Romantic Bar:
MBar
417 NW 21st Ave., 228-6614
Entirely lit by candles and very, very small. Beer and wine
only.
Kiss Me Quick
1 and 1/2 oz. Pernod or other anise-flavored liqueur
1/4 teaspoon Cointreau
1/4 teaspoon Angostura bitters
cold club soda
Shake all ingredients except soda with ice. Strain into
chilled glass with ice cubes. Top with soda, stirring gently.
Man of the Moment
1 1/2 oz. Scotch
1 oz. Grand Marnier
1 oz. lemon juice
1 tsp. grenadine
In a shaker half-filled with ice cubes, combine ingredients.
Shake well and strain into a cocktail glass.
Presidential Campaign Sex Moments:
*Eyebrows were raised when Al Gore wore tight jeans
to a recent MTV rally.
*John McCain once dated an exotic dancer known as Marie
the flame-thrower.
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Willamette Week | originally
published February 9,
2000
|
