In November, this great Republic selects its next President.
If recent form holds, this sacred rite will unfold amidst
a chorus of apathy from those rare and wonderful animals,
young voters.
Right-thinking America sheds hot crocodile tears over the
lousy poll record of the under-30 set. No doubt, the usual
hand wringing over the whys and wherefores of this disgrace
will get a repeat this year. However, a helpful hint as
to one possible reason Why Junior Don't Care came from a
highly credible source last week:
The Democratic National Convention.
While starry-eyed loyalists hooted inside LA's Staples
Center and the city's Finest lobbed rubber bullets at Rage
Against the Machine fans outside, the Dems offered the
nation's youngsters a couple of reminders of just how much
they're despised by the country's political class.
First, naturally, there's Al Gore, united by bonds
of matrimony to the shrieking harpie who turned a salacious
Prince lyric into an anti-pop moral hygiene crusade
in the '80s. Tipper has been relatively quiet of
late, and has even sliced her umbilical ties to the notorious
Parents Music Resource Center. However, Al's vigorous
pimping of his family-values cred makes it hard to forget
his wife's old shenanigans, which targeted everyone from
Jello Biafra to Ice-T.
Tipper, however, is old news. Joe Lieberman, Gore's
choice for Veep, on the other hand, should give anyone who
cares about free expression, rational thought or the odd
bit of fluffy pop culture a fresh round of night sweats.
Lieberman is an old pal of professional scold William
Bennett, the self-appointed right-wing arbiter of American
taste who despises the tacky amusements of the plebeians.
The senator from Connecticut also made a cynical leap onto
the anti-rock bandwagon in the wake of the Columbine
High School massacre
last spring.
With the blood still fresh in Littleton, Lieberman sponsored
a Senate measure calling for the Federal Trade Commission
and Justice Department to investigate media allegedly
pushing violence on impressionable youth. The Senate, eager
to take torches and pitchforks in hand and proceed directly
to Marilyn Manson's house, passed the measure unanimously.
Stumping for the instant legislation, Lieberman demanded
that the "entertainment industry" stop "this toxic mix that
is turning our kids into killers."
His evidence for such a diabolical transformation? Well,
there wasn't any, except for the early reports on Columbine,
most of which have proven substantially inaccurate. Still,
the killings in Colorado made for an excellent witch-hunting
season, and Lieberman seemed determined to fill his tag.
Gore's tag-team partner also sits on the board of the Parents
Television Council, an ultra-conservative "watchdog"
group that targets Friends, of all things,
as a dangerous font of filth. The PTC seems oddly compelled
to repeat the very vulgarities it complains about verbatim.
Check out its diatribe against the pro wrestling extravaganza
WWF Smackdown:
"Offensive language used on Smackdown includes:
ass, bitch, bastard, shit, suck, slut, pussy, and inaudible
but visible, motherf**ker."
One wonders why they bothered with the "**." Are Lieberman's
pals at the PTC truly outraged by such naughtiness, or do
they revel in it with the glee of a pre-teen bathroom talker?
Certainly, there's evidence to suggest that some of Lieberman's
allies aren't the most stable cats around.
The PTC is an outgrowth of the Media Research Center,
a geyser of hysterical complaints about "liberal media bias."
(The MRC frequently savages the Gore campaign; that ought
to give even stalwart, take-one-for-the-team Dems a moment's
pause.) The MRC proudly admits to taping 150 hours of TV
a week. Volunteers then comb the footage for "bias," which
they record in a comprehensive computer database of some
sort. The video is preserved in a meticulous library dating
back to the '80s.
If you or I engaged in such an eccentric practice, we would
lose our jobs, and perhaps our liberty, as concerned friends
and co-workers rallied to rescue us from monomania. However,
if you're down with the MRC, the worst you can expect is
a nomination to become vice president of the United States.
Some might think that's punishment enough for Lieberman,
and they might be right. Still, it's a little frightening
to imagine what tricks he might have in store for the rest
of us, should he and Al turn the tide and win in November.
Vastly inspiring, isn't it?
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