GENTLE READERS:
Miss Dish must admit it--she loves electronics. Whether
stored in the boudoir or the kitchen, things that go whir
or get hot or do a mixture of both are most tantalizing
when Miss Dish goes shopping. That's why her ears perked
up at recent Portland function that took place en porch
and featured the ritualistic passing of Colt 45 when local
artiste Kristan Kennedy, she of Swallow Press (x2)
and fanciful billboard projects, began gushing about the
relative excellence of her George Foreman grill.
Yes, the George Foreman. You know, from the infomercial.
Our beefy, bald, ex-champ shows us how burgers are flensed
of their fat on the slanted grill that leads the bad nasty
lard in waterfall formation into a cup at the edge. It is
this grill that got Kennedy going. She raved about the way
the grill seared the goodness in and leached the badness
out and how it tasted um-um barbecuey. "Pork chops are my
favorite," said the lass. "Pork chops are good."
Kennedy's story was corroborated by many excited fans of
the grill on Amazon.com. Postings included seductive bits
such as, "This appliance has literally changed my life,"
and "My husband passed away earlier this year. Who's going
to bake or broil one steak, one chicken breast or one serving
of fish? Now 'My George' grills for one! No heating the
oven, no splattering on the stove top!" and even "Altogether,
my family purchased or received six grills for Christmas,
and all are used frequently."
Miss Dish decided to take the dive and purchased the George
Foreman GR20CB XL Grill at Fred Meyer for around 60
bucks. She promptly took it home and experimented. With
no lube at all, this little miracle of a machine cooks up
a mean fish, complete with those fancy grill marks that
makes you feel like you accomplished something. Watching
the fat slither off the grill from a hunk of beef is a perverse
pleasure, almost as good as popping a zit in a mirror. And
this thing works so fast because you've got heat coming
from both the top and bottom in waffle-iron fashion. Miss
Dish sliced up a sweet potato and slapped it on there for
a good 6 minutes to see what would happen and was surprised
with the crisp chips she got. Slicing up a nice sweet onion
and watching it grill just like it would on a greasy gross
grill was also amazing, especially because this isn't a
greasy gross grill. In fact, almost no smoke at all rises
from the machine. In the annals of one woman's memory, May
26-28 will be heretofore known as the Lost George Foreman
Weekend, the two days Miss Dish hid from the world and played
with her machine. God bless George Foreman.
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Willamette Week | originally
published May 10,
2000
|
