When I was a kid, my dad instilled in me a fondness for cheap
entertainment. We spent many a Sunday afternoon at the roller
rink arcade, catching a matinee or bowling. There were two
bowling alleys near our rural New Hampshire town: cookie-cutter
lanes in Concord, the state capitol, and a smaller, smokier
joint in Hillsboro--a downtrodden town best known for its
high rate of inbreeding. It was a longer drive, but we preferred
the alley in Hillsboro. The low ceilings and salty characters
gave it a gruff charm. Though I remember birthday parties
and high-school dates in Concord, King Pins Kandlepins is
the place I remember bonding with Dad over popcorn, sodas
and spares.
Portland's Sandy Lanes was a much tidier place, but it
shared some of the same qualities that made King Pins so
endearing: It was family-run, old-fashioned and inexpensive.
Fittingly, a bowling reunion with my father--our first since
my adolescence rendered him uncool--was held at Sandy Lanes
this past July. It was my first visit to the Lanes, and
I loved it for its classic appeal--neither too big nor too
crowded, it was a perfect place for good-natured competition
and ice-cold Budweisers served in pin-shaped bottles. When
Sandy Lanes burned on Aug. 29, in what investigators now
believe was an act of arson, it was a sad day for owner
Steve Metcalfe and the people of Portland.
Though there'll never be a place quite like the Sandy,
we did a quick survey of the alternatives. Our picks, in
descending order:
GRAND CENTRAL BOWL
To bowl here, you must submit
a $20 deposit--and don't expect to recoup much of it. Grand
gets away with the gouging because of its location and 24-hour
convenience. Grand Central is a quality shop all the same.
Equipped with 28 lanes, computerized hands-off scoring,
great sing-along tunes (you forget how much you liked "Like
A Prayer" until you hear it over the crashing of balls and
pins) and a swell cocktail lounge (yes, it has the Bud bottles).
But $15.99 per lane, per hour, after 6 pm? And $2 for shoes?
Uh-uh.
808 SE Morrison St., 232-5166.
AMF CASCADE LANES
The sign on the door of this eastern-bloc
style building warns that all who enter are subject to search.
Inside this 48-lane bowling monolith, more admonishments
declare zero tolerance for loitering minors. The rates aren't
exactly cozy either: $3.25 per person, per game, after 5
pm; and $2.25 for footwear. Oppression Central loses more
points for its short hours (it closes at 10 pm Monday-Thursday
and at midnight on weekend nights). There's a lot of nightlife
on this thoroughfare--perhaps Cascade Lanes should warm
to it.
2700 NE 82nd Ave., 255-2635.
AMF PRO 300 LANES
A turn at Pro 300 is a fine start
to any evening, but it doesn't have to be the night's sole
activity. After all, this alley is situated across the street
from Doc's and a Motel 6. The 36-lane hall sports a sweetly
glowing sign that's probably a holdover from the 1950's,
but the interior is painfully bright. A pizza counter and
ample bar keep customers satisfied. The rates, though, are
a tad steep: $3.25 per game after 6 pm and $2.25 for shoes.
Motel 6, by the way, is only 40 bucks a night.
3031 SE Powell Blvd., 234-0237.
INTERSTATE LANES, INC.
The Lustre King ball polisher
in the lobby of Interstate Lanes lets you know this isn't
your average alley. Opened in 1963, Interstate boasts 26
lanes, a vending machine of bowling needs (socks, grip tape),
a saloon with swinging louvered doors, electronic scoring
and mellow lighting. Friendly and bargain-minded, it offers
$1.50 games all day on Tuesdays and Thursdays--$2.95 regularly--and
shoes for $1.75.
6049 N Interstate Ave., 285-9881.
VIKING BOWLING AND BILLIARDS
In the basement of Portland
State University's Smith Center sits the college's six-lane
secret: $1 games and $.50 shoe rentals. Though the spot
is small and alcohol-free, and it's somewhat challenging
to find a ball that fits, there's no beating PSU when it
comes to economics. Student-run, it serves a collegiate
clientele because most everyone else forgets that it's there.
Another bonus: In the absence of Sandy, this may be the
only place in town where the scoring is done by hand--sometimes
it's nice to have to use a pencil.
PSU Smith Memorial Center, 1825 SW Broadway, 725-4490.
HOLLYWOOD BOWL
I love the Hollywood District for
all its out-of-time incongruity and architectural wackiness.
Hollywood Bowl fits right into the neighborhood: It's a
massive building with showy signs and an undeniably '80s
decor. Forty-eight lanes are offset by fast-food four-tops
with twirly chairs, a Miami Vice cityscape backdrop and
rows of lockers (for your street clothes, or what?). But
it's got every '90s gadget. Your first roll is followed
by a schematic of your next shot, providing an up-close
image of remaining pins and a degree-of-difficulty rating.
The video took some getting used to but ultimately helped
my game: I bowled a 145, my best yet. Take advantage of
$1 games on weeknights 9 pm-midnight and $1.50 games on
Sundays ($3 at other times). Added bonus: Open until 2 am
Saturdays.
4030 NE Halsey St., 288-9237.
The prices listed reflect prime-time adult rates. Call
individual alleys for complete prices and hours.
Most alleys offer some version of Cosmic Bowling: black
lights, glowing pins, disco hits, and higher-than-normal
rates.
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Willamette Week | originally
published October 20,
1999
|
