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QW: Send savory bits of information to Byron
Beck at bbeck@
wweek.com at least 10 days prior to publication.
Our
Community Seen
4th
Annual Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans Film Festival
Cinema
21
616
NW 21st Ave., 242-0818
Friday-Sunday,
Oct. 13-15 and Oct. 20-22
Tickets
and passes $7-$75
Ginger
Moloko's Autistic Follies
Cabaret
for a new millennium!
Echo
Theater, 1515 SE 37th Ave.,
224-8499. 8 pm Friday and Saturday, Oct. 13-14. $10-$12.
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Entertainment Weekly is my gay bible. A radical rag
disguised as mainstream pablum, this weekly mag boasts more
homofferings in its "Gay Hollywood 2000" edition than anything
you find in the pages of Playgirl or Bust. It
covers everything from queer TV ads--don't you love John Hancock's
new lesbos-who-adopt ad?--to a gay gold-digger's wish list
of dreamy gay celebs (Hey! Where's Chuck Palahniuk?). And
at the bottom of page 8, you will find a link to the website
(www.ew.com) that will tell you what editors at EW
think are the top 10 homo films of the past decade--and we
are not talking about anything by Ryan Idol.
While I'm as eager as anyone to slip into a cheerleading
uniform and start doing cartwheels across Hollywood in support
of the cause, I'm also a little creeped out by the rah-rah
nature of this special report. I mean, really, we
had to sit through loads of crap before we got Will &
Grace and Boys Don't Cry.
As a public service, and a reminder of where we came from,
I offer you what I think are the three worst gay films ever
made. Enjoy.
It's My Party: Written and directed by Randal
Kleiser, this movie should have been called Death Without
Dignity. Starring two straight dudes who I always thought
were gay, Eric Roberts and Gregory Harrison, this dramedy
revolves around a "going away" party for a gay guy who would
rather kill himself than die from you-know-what. Margaret
Cho, Olivia Newton-John and Bronson Pinchot give the worst
performances of their lives--and that's saying something.
Making Love: A messy ménage à
trois, this soft-focused flick stars two straight guys who
I always thought were gay, Harry Hamlin and Michael Ontkean,
and one of Charlie's Angels who I always thought was lesbian,
Kate Jackson. Ontkean's closeted, married character explores
his "feelings" all over the couch, chair and floor of chesty
Hamlin's bachelor pad. Jackson, his wife, cries a lot. Boo-hoo-hisssss.
Claire of the Moon: Oregon has its share
of hits and misses when it comes to making movies. For every
My Own Private Idaho, there seem to be several of
The Temp. But nothing comes close to this stinkerooni
starring local actresses Karen Trumbo and Trisha Todd, who
I thought were...oh, never mind. But don't blame
this debacle on those two players. Meryl Streep and Vanessa
Redgrave would've had trouble making something out of this
piece of poo. From bad lighting to bad masturbation scenes,
this coastal-based coital commingling is about as inviting
as a case of crabs.
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