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QW: Send savory bits of information to Byron
Beck at bbeck@
wweek.com at least 10 days prior to publication.
World
AIDS Day 2000
Life Rock, a benefit for Africa AIDS Response, includes
performances by Third Estate, The American Girls, The Orange
Collection and Pedro Luz.
PSU,
Shattuck Hall, 1914 SW Park Ave., 721-0557. 6 pm Friday,
Dec. 1. $7 donation.
Wig
Out
Second annual costume party to benefit Friends of PWA
Foundation.
Berbati's
Pan, 231 SW Ankeny St., 241-0875. 8 pm Thursday, Nov. 30.
$5.
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I like cops.
Some of my best friends are cops.
Why, I've even had the incredible opportunity to drive
along with a cop buddy on duty. And, OMIGOD!, I can still
feel my heart pounding through my pants when I joined the
boys (and girls) in blue on a mad dash through a downtown
apartment building in search of a persnickety perp. Forget
Starsky & Hutch--when these folks start pulling
out the big guns, the whole "cops and robbers" thing can
get downright freaky.
But what really freaks me out is when an allegedly homophobic
officer of the law decides to save his politically motivated
ass by saying (and I paraphrase), "Hey, gay people are people,
too!"
Whatever!
Of course, having straight people back off from their ignorance
once they are outed for their stupid remarks is nothing
new. I mean, really, how many times has some straight "friend"
of yours said: "Oh, I'm sorry. Did my completely inappropriate
statement hurt you?"
I promise, when push comes to shove, we'll get over this
whole Kroeker mess. The gay, lesbian, bi and transgendered
community has a history of wanting to smooth things over
(they like us, they really, really like us!).
In that spirit, I fully expect Chief Kroeker to be next
year's grand marshal of the Pride Parade.
Why? Here are a just few reasons:
1. He looks good in a uniform. Kroeker loves
to work out. He jogs, he lifts, he knows his gluteus from
his maximus. Just like the rest of the gym rats at the Princeton.
2. He knows how to use a paddle. Not only
can this blue dude work a gun and a nightstick, he also
seems to be disciplined in the ways of applying a boat oar
to the fleshiest part of the ass. Just like our friends
at the Eagle.
3. His turn-ons include lights and sirens. Considering
the number of cool gadgets that have to be flicked on and
off during the average police chase, it shouldn't
come as any surprise that a squad car sometimes resembles
a (tiny) gay disco. Just like Saturday night at the
Brig.
4. He's a refugee from L.A. Just like all the homos
who have recently bought houses in Irvington.
5. He likes to play rough. Do the words "May Day"
ring a bell with anyone?
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