Seen a Rogue on the loose? Get in touch with our Roguemeister: JOHN SCHRAG jschrag@wweek.com (503) 243-2122 FAX: (503) 243-1115 Tenants who moor their yachts at the RiverPlace Marina had better beware. They are being led aground by their harbormaster, Jerry Olsen. In his spring newsletter, Olsen asks dog-owning tenants to keep the Willamette River marina unsoiled, imploring them to "clean up doggie pooh." Olsen has a unique and roguish solution for those who won't bag and toss: "Put it in the river," he writes. "It's easy enough to do. If the city can do it, why can't we?" Well, Jerry, because it's against the law. According to Anne Cox of the Department of Environmental Quality, it's a Class A misdemeanor to place offensive substances in the waters of the state. Even if it comes from a high-class hound, dog crap carries E. coli bacteria and is defined as "offensive." Putting it in the river "is a definite no-no," Cox says. To make matters worse, Olsen told WW he knows it's illegal to turn the Willamette River into a terrier toilet. (Knowingly breaking the Clean Water Act is water pollution in the first degree.) He justified his advice by noting that the city's sewer system regularly overflows into the river. "I can see the sewage floating right on by me," he says. True enough. But the city was successfully sued over its overflows and is spending $1 billion to take care of the problem. Olsen's remedy was cheaper and simpler. After being contacted by an unhappy river-lover, he posted a sign in the marina advising tenants that he was wrong and that the river is no place to be dumping doggy doo. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Willamette Week | originally published June 16, 1999