December 4th, 2002 Rachel Beckman | Special Section Stories
 

Noisemakers

...For the Naughty Nympho

     
Tags:
18-karat gold-mesh bra
contents
Intro
Toys
Accessories
Pampering
Gadgets
Pets
Outdoors
Home Furnishings
Comestibles and Kitchen Stuff
Sex
Spirits
Books and Music

Nothing heats up a cold night like a shiny new package with a bow on top (no, not that kind of package, you perv). Boost your lover's heart rate with any one of these bedroom accoutrements. But, fellas, tread lightly in the lingerie department unless you know your woman's style. Not everyone goes for leather and lace...well, at least not lace.Gold Members

Cleopatra herself would've screamed "GIMME!!!" for the 18-karat gold-mesh bra ($12,000, Tiffany & Co., 330 SW Yamhill St., 221-5565) that comes in a little blue box. But just because it's bulletproof doesn't mean your lovely lady has to feel like she's wearing hardware. This highly functional, form-fitting, bias-cut bra is made of lightweight mesh that feels soft against the body. Just remind your gal to show a little skin when she wears it. You didn't drop 12 grand just to cover those puppies up.

Kid-U-Not
Get away this weekend--pretend you haven't lived in Portland all your life and spend a night at the Paramount Hotel ($129, 808 SW Taylor St., 223-9900). Not only can you escape from the holiday hustle, but you can also get away from your kids' wish lists and focus on your own by hiding out in one of the upgraded corner rooms. The holiday package ensures that you'll spend the night pampered with a private jetted spa, peppermint bath oil, a box of champagne truffles and two splashy cocktails. Add some uncensored body-rockin' to the mix and you've got a steamy little vacation. Now that's more like it!

Flick My Switch
Who wouldn't want a nude alien next to their love nest? LumiSource Lamps from Mars ($79.95 each, Spartacus, 300 SW 12th Ave., 224-2604) are not just conversation starters--they're anatomically correct, too! Made of brushed steel, their "heads" (the ones above their necks) are special light bulbs that are half metal and half clear glass to protect your eyes from the naked light. And that's not all that's naked. The Woman from Mars features two extra red lights for breasts, and the Man from Mars turns on with just a flick of his...um..."switch."

Rub, Tub, Grub...Repeat
Tired of listening to your lover whine for a shoulder rub? Shut him (or her) up with the couples massage "romance package" ($350, Aequis Spa, 1306 NW Hoyt St., Suite 201, 223-7847). Your two-and-a-half hours of bliss begin with a foot soak with rose petals floating in the bath and scattered all over your private spa room. The good Aequis folks even serve you champagne, truffles and fruit. But the main course is the hour-plus massage, followed by a scalp treatment. Your honey will feel so spoiled that he or she won't even realize the real reason you bought this gift--so you, too, can get a full-body rubdown.

Claim To Flame
Everyone looks sexier by candlelight--even your spouse. Discover what all the fuss is about with a hanging candleholder ($35-$90, Turkish Imports, 816 NW 23rd Ave., 295-7965). Your love shack will get a jolt of instant ambience with any of these delights of hand-blown glass and hand-worked metal. Imported from Istanbul, they are available in a variety of sizes and dramatic hues of red, blue and gold. Once you've made out by the light of a flickering flame, a pitch-black room will never do again.

Blankie Hanky Panky
Chenille is a fabric so soft, it just begs you to nuzzle it against your cheek. So imagine how good it will feel to cuddle up underneath a Textillery Weavers chenille throw blanket ($195-$315, Urbino Home, 638 NW 23rd Ave., 220-4194). The blankets are big and so well-made that Hugh Hefner and a load of bunnies couldn't wear one out. Just don't have too much fun with it, cowboy--these are dry clean only.

MORE GIFT IDEAS

Bear-and-Salmon Vibrator

Animal lover? Adore the outdoors? Show some Northwest pride with the Hungry Bear Vibrator, which slaps at you with the salmon clenched in its teeth. It's time for some chinookie.

$69, It's My Pleasure, 3106 NE 64th Ave., 280-8080.

Dream Corset

Dress up like a sexy little vamp in a Frederick's of Hollywood Dream Corset. Corset comes with G-strings and detachable garters.

$54, Frederick's of Hollywood, 2201 Lloyd Center, 249-3901, and other locations.

Martinis and Mistletoe

Get into the spirit of giving with a holiday package from the 5th Avenue Suites Hotel. Complete with evening martinis, a wine reception in the lobby, and mistletoe on your pillow at turndown.

$129-$139, 506 SW Washington St., 222-0001.

Mild to Wild Romance Gift Baskets

Surprise your honey with a gift basket stuffed full of sensual delights. Choose from Kama Sutra products, lingerie, edible massage oils, flavored lubricants, chocolate body frosting, candles, warming lotions and other goodies to customize your own special basket. Make it as naughty or nice as you like.

$100 and up, Mild to Wild Gift Baskets, www.mildtowildgiftbaskets. com, 761-5561.

Pheromone Perfume

Got your eye on someone, but don't have the nerve to approach him/her? Let your scent do the work. Pheromone perfume is designed to attract, calm and tantalize all those hotties who don't know you exist--yet. It's locally made and comes in more than 100 scents, so you can find the one that best suits your chemistry and charisma.

$19.99 a quarter-ounce, $80 an ounce. www.crimsonphoenix@crimsonphoenix.com, 228-0129.

 
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