WEDNESDAY DEC. 4HOLIDAY ALE FEST
[BEER] A quarter past noon, the Grinch paused then put his hand to his ear. And, through the streets of Portland, a sound he did hear. It started in low, then it started to grow. WOOOOOOOO! BEER FESTIVAL! WOOOOO! Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW Sixth Ave., holidayale.com. Wednesday-Sunday, Dec. 4-8. $30. 21+.
CHURCH OF MISERY
[MUSIC] The Tokyo-based band was a pioneer of the doom- and stoner-metal subgenres in the ’90s. Blending the heaviest parts of early Black Sabbath with psychedelic rock, the band blasts intense live shows through a looming wall of the industry’s loudest amps. Most of its songs are about mass murderers, natch. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.
THURSDAY DEC. 5ROB DELANEY
[COMEDY] Comedy Central has proclaimed him the funniest man on Twitter (“Donuts are gay bagels”), but Delaney is pretty funny live, too, with plenty of pathos to go with the outlandish bits. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 7:30 pm. $25.
BLUE CRANES, DYLAN RYAN SAND, THE KANDINSKY EFFECT
[MUSIC] Sand, the latest project from adventurous drummer and composer Dylan Ryan and featuring John Zorn sideman Tim Young and Xiu Xiu’s Devin Hoff, is the highlight of a forward-facing jazz bill, bringing together acts that are keeping the genre fresh by embracing contemporary rock and electronica. Goodfoot Lounge, 2845 SE Stark St., 239-9292. 9 pm. $10. 21+.
FRIDAY DEC. 6NOISES OFF
[THEATER] Third Rail Rep produces provocative and sometimes polarizing plays, but its acting company is one of the city’s best and deserves a wider audience. That elevates this production of Michael Frayn’s phenomenally funny play from pandering to a wise marketing ploy. Not only should the backstage comedy—about a regional British production of a terrible sex farce—be hilarious, but it will hopefully introduce new audiences to Third Rail. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 235-1101. 7:30 pm. $23-$46.
SATURDAY DEC. 7ANIMATED CHRISTMAS 2
[MOVIES] Because you won’t be able to watch TV this month without thinking “God, the Christmas shit I used to watch as a kid was so much better than this,” the Hollywood Theatre presents a collection of rare 16 mm and VHS cartoons that will prove your childhood taste was crappier than you remember. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 2:30 pm. $8.