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July 14th, 2004 Midnight Blogger | Midnight Blogger
 

Forgive us our debts.

     
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Throughout my ministry, I've worked to bring faith to the unbelievers. Each day I pray that the Spirit will open their eyes. Still, "there is none so blind as he who will not see."

Thus, I'm not surprised the heathen won't believe we're bankrupt. They see all the real estate and think we're worth hundreds of millions. But they've got it wrong. We're not some centralized, top-down organization where everything is dictated by the hierarchy to satisfy our own goals. No, we who wear the mitre are just caretakers of all those worldly possessions, as the servants of the individual parishes and, of course, the sheep in the pews.

Moreover, let's be real for a moment, shall we? Even if the sheriff seized some of the church properties, how much do the former altar boys think that would raise? Who's going to buy them? I just don't think a McMenamins Cathedral would be all that successful.

The bejeweled vestments and vessels wouldn't fetch much on the open market, either. I priced some used incense burners at a head shop--a dime a dozen.

These plaintiffs' lawyers are so vicious. They're always throwing Bible passages at me in depositions. "Owe no man any thing." "And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you."

I prayed without ceasing for guidance on how to respond to these people. Then one night, sweet inspiration rained down upon me. And I'm thankful I have the grace to follow where it leads: Until this thing blows over, the first drafts of all my sermons are coming from Gard & Gerber.

--Posted by John at 11:48 pm.

 
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