NIGHT CABBIE You know what I hate most about smokers? It's not the secondhand smoke so much—that's irritating, but whatever. I accept that as part of a bar/show/playing pool sort of experience.No, what I hat ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE This girl, there's something about her. She's carrying a fruit platter to a party, to a location she's unfamiliar with. And I completely screw it up.I'm heading east on Fremont, jig left when I should ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE "You don't have one of those cameras in this cab, do you?" This is not the sort of observation I want to hear. These guys had set off my Spidey sense immediately. It tingled still more when they would ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE "Excuse me, the no-smoking signs in the cab are not restricted to tobacco." This is what I want to say. Instead, I can't help myself: "What the fuck do you think you're doing, smoking meth in my cab?! ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE What is it with you guys and the front seat? Many Portlanders mistakenly assume that the toplight being lit means the cab is available. Nope. But that's understandable—the iconography of taxicab ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE "Are you into clubs?" he asks, altogether too eager to hear my answer. I'm thinking, "What sort of clubs? Dance clubs? Rock clubs? Juggling clubs?" I say that the only time I ever go to bars is if I w ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE So I'm sitting in front of Club 1222, and my fare does not appear after five minutes. I'm preparing to drive away when three people come out. They get in, but the woman has lost her "$400 cell phone" ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE "You don't want to take us just because we're black," says the teenager in the middle; his two compatriots nod assent. Goddamnit, they played the race card. It wasn't that at all. I hesitated to take ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE The biggest bitch ever to get into my cab was a teeny girl who had to have been drinking on a fake ID. The whole way from Old Town to Lloyd Center, she was saying she was going to be sick. I told her ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE "Goddamn bicyclists shouldn't be on the road." My passenger reacts to my slowing down so as not to crowd a cyclist. We are approaching a red light, so doing this does not affect our progress, but none ...   More