Home · Articles · By JOHN LOCANTHI
 

Party Like It’s 1934

A look back at the other ill-fated experiment in prohibition.


Weed
People like to get high. Almost all humans seek to alter their reality in some way, be it with a few beers, a bong rip, or good, old-fashioned OxyContin overprescribed by a doctor. And yet, some peo   More
 
Wednesday, July 1, 2015 JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: Arby's Claims To Have Made Bacon Better

Gentlemen, we have the technology. We have the capability to make bacon better. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, tastier.

john_locanthi_haute

Bacon is a funny thing. I love it. You love it. Everybody loves it, even vegetarians and vegans who toil away trying to perfect meat-free bacon. It’s become one of the most ubiquitous foods there is. It’s on burgers, french fries, vodka, prunes and pizza among many, many other things. And yet I’ve never had the feeling that it is as popular in reality as it is in the largely unimaginative co...   More
 
Tuesday, June 30, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

More like Turd 2: Ted 2 Reviewed

02

From the instant Seth MacFarlane’s Ted grossed over $200 million in 2012, the sequel was inevitable. The American public couldn’t get enough as Seth MacFarlane broke away from his most famous role, Homer Simpson-like Peter Griffin, and brought the same crass, lowbrow humor and voice to a stuffed teddy bear.The foul-mouthed Ted is back with more celebrities, low-hanging fruit and ...   More
 
Friday, June 26, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: Pizza Hut's Hot Dog-Stuffed Crust Pizza

“Fuck it, dude, let’s just put hot dogs in the crust,” suggested a Pizza Hut exec after the chain’s failed relaunch as an artisanal brand.

john_locanthi_haute

Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food of the common man.
Pizza Hut doesn’t even know what it’s doing anymore. The venerable purveyor of Kansas-style pizza has been fighting a long, losing battle with two competitors: one ...   More
 
Tuesday, June 23, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: Blaze Pizza

LeBron James has a bright future in the pizza business if this whole basketball thing doesn’t work out.

john_locanthi_haute

Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food ...   More
 
Tuesday, June 16, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: DQ, Chill & Grill & Bake

Blizzard dispensary now offering melts, artisanal-style sandwiches and hot desserts a la mode

john_locanthi_haute

Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food of the common man. 
Fast-food chains are running away from the “fast food” label faster than crap through a goose. T...   More
 
Tuesday, June 9, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: The Breadstick Sandwich

With a side of breadsticks because Olive Garden

john_locanthi_haute

Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food ...   More
 
Tuesday, June 2, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Rebuilding the Bell

It’s getting tough to get Taco Bell in Portland. We asked a Mexican food expert to reverse-engineer our favorite FourthMeals.


Food Reviews & Stories
For FourthMeal fans, these are trying times. Both Taco Bell locations in central Portland are currently closed, with the West Burnside Street Bell apparently being rebuilt and the Northeast    More
 
Wednesday, May 27, 2015 JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: Burgerville's Golden-Fried Asparagus

Beloved local onion ring purveyor is changing up the side order game

john_locanthi_haute

Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food of the common man. 
   More
 
Tuesday, May 26, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

The First Annual Haute-N-Ready Awards


Food Reviews & Stories
These are exciting times in the fast-food industry. What began with Doritos taco shells and fried chicken-as-sandwich bread has evolved into biscuit taco shells and fried chicken-as-hot dog bu   More
 
Wednesday, May 20, 2015 JOHN LOCANTHI
 

Web Design for magazines

Close
Close
Close