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Haute-N-Ready: It Comes But Once A Year

Burgerville's Walla Walla Sweet Onion Rings are back!

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Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food ...   More
 
Tuesday, July 21, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: Of Happy Meals and F-Bombs

McDonald's foul-mouthed Minions toys alarm parents, send impressionable children down the wrong path.

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Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food ...   More
 
Tuesday, July 14, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: Taco Bell Cap'n Crunch Balls

Taco Bell turns cereal into balls to appeal to Millennials.

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Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food ...   More
 
Tuesday, July 7, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Party Like It’s 1934

A look back at the other ill-fated experiment in prohibition.


Weed
People like to get high. Almost all humans seek to alter their reality in some way, be it with a few beers, a bong rip, or good, old-fashioned OxyContin overprescribed by a doctor. And yet, some peo   More
 
Wednesday, July 1, 2015 JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: Arby's Claims To Have Made Bacon Better

Gentlemen, we have the technology. We have the capability to make bacon better. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, tastier.

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Bacon is a funny thing. I love it. You love it. Everybody loves it, even vegetarians and vegans who toil away trying to perfect meat-free bacon. It’s become one of the most ubiquitous foods there is. It’s on burgers, french fries, vodka, prunes and pizza among many, many other things. And yet I’ve never had the feeling that it is as popular in reality as it is in the largely unimaginative co...   More
 
Tuesday, June 30, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

More like Turd 2: Ted 2 Reviewed

02

From the instant Seth MacFarlane’s Ted grossed over $200 million in 2012, the sequel was inevitable. The American public couldn’t get enough as Seth MacFarlane broke away from his most famous role, Homer Simpson-like Peter Griffin, and brought the same crass, lowbrow humor and voice to a stuffed teddy bear.The foul-mouthed Ted is back with more celebrities, low-hanging fruit and ...   More
 
Friday, June 26, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: Pizza Hut's Hot Dog-Stuffed Crust Pizza

“Fuck it, dude, let’s just put hot dogs in the crust,” suggested a Pizza Hut exec after the chain’s failed relaunch as an artisanal brand.

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Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food of the common man.
Pizza Hut doesn’t even know what it’s doing anymore. The venerable purveyor of Kansas-style pizza has been fighting a long, losing battle with two competitors: one ...   More
 
Tuesday, June 23, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: Blaze Pizza

LeBron James has a bright future in the pizza business if this whole basketball thing doesn’t work out.

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Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food ...   More
 
Tuesday, June 16, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: DQ, Chill & Grill & Bake

Blizzard dispensary now offering melts, artisanal-style sandwiches and hot desserts a la mode

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Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food of the common man. 
Fast-food chains are running away from the “fast food” label faster than crap through a goose. T...   More
 
Tuesday, June 9, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Haute-N-Ready: The Breadstick Sandwich

With a side of breadsticks because Olive Garden

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Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food ...   More
 
Tuesday, June 2, 2015 by JOHN LOCANTHI
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