Haute-N-Ready: Pizza Hut's Hot Dog-Stuffed Crust Pizza

“Fuck it, dude, let’s just put hot dogs in the crust,” suggested a Pizza Hut exec after the chain’s failed relaunch as an artisanal brand.

john_locanthi_haute

Food & Drink
Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food of the common man.Pizza Hut doesn’t even know what it’s doing anymore. The venerable purveyor of Kansas-style pizza has been fighting a long, losing battle with two competitors: one whose commercials highlight that its food doesn’t suck as much anymore (Domino’s) ...   More
 
Tuesday, June 23, 2015 JOHN LOCANTHI

All Piez On Me

You got teeth in your mouth, so P.R.E.A.M. pies gotsta fit.


Food Reviews & Stories
The sad-bastard music had to go. A few years ago, most upscale Portland restaurants—places where people went for some nice cooked food in their nice clean drawers—played Black Keys Pandora   More
 
Wednesday, June 3, 2015 MARTIN CIZMAR

Cheap Eats 2015: Pizza


Cheap Eats
Atlas Pizza 3570 SE Division St., 232-3004, atlaspizzapdx.com. Lunch and dinner daily. Metalheads who drive Chevy Cavaliers have long been the unsung heroes of the American pizza industry in p   More
 
Wednesday, March 18, 2015 WW Staff

Apizza Scholls Weekend Brunch


Food Reviews & Stories
For nearly a decade, Portland’s best pizza has been anachronistically named and a royal pain in the ass to buy. And for just as long, waiting for Brian Spangler’s perfectly chewy, char-spo   More
 
Wednesday, March 25, 2015 MATTHEW KORFHAGE

Fire and Stone: Restaurant Review

Fire and Stone needs some polish to be Beaumont’s pizzeria.


Food Reviews & Stories
Fire and Stone says it wants to be a “neighborhood spot.” That’s always sounded like a sheepish goal to me. Why not be a destination? Home to the best Patagonian-style salchichas con chucr   More
 
Wednesday, March 18, 2015 MARTIN CIZMAR

Haute-N-Ready: The Food Court

The column takes a break from last-minute shopping.

john_locanthi_haute

Food & Drink
Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food of the common man.‘Tis the season when the crazed masses descend upon shopping centers in search of gifts for family, friends and other assorted acquaintances. Sure, jollity, fraternity and congeniality are all paid lip service, but there’s little room for ...   More
 
Tuesday, December 23, 2014 JOHN LOCANTHI

Pizzeria Otto: Floppy Disc

Wood-fired pizza ain’t easy. Roseway’s new Pizzeria Otto gets it wrong.


Food Reviews & Stories
Oak, folks! Fuel of the future! Now’s the time! Oak’s where you want your money! Crazy? Like a fox. The electric oven is on its way out. In the last year, at least five new wood-fired pizz   More
 
Wednesday, December 17, 2014 MARTIN CIZMAR

Haute-N-Ready: The Great Pizza Hut Re-Branding of 2014

Spinach, pretzel crust and banh mizzas, oh my!

john_locanthi_haute

Food & Drink
Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food of the common man.As you may remember, Haute-N-Ready mocked the incredible laziness of Pizza Hut’s attempt to jazz up its brand by stuffing bacon into a pizza crust not too long ago. Less than a month later, Pizza Hut launched a re-branding campaign ...   More
 
Tuesday, December 2, 2014 JOHN LOCANTHI

Willamette Weekend: 18 Things to Do and See in Portland, November 14-16


Features
Friday, Nov. 14 Todd Barry [COMEDY] A comic’s comic, Todd Barry is a veteran standup with a soft delivery who can read loan documents and make them sound hilarious. He’s so good, he can come to a gig without any actual jokes, and he has some of the best crowd work out there. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 7 pm. $20. +21. No No: A Dockumentary [MOVIES] Almost without ...   More
 
Friday, November 14, 2014 WW Culture Staff

Haute-N-Ready: Bacon-Stuffed Crust

Pizza Hut stuffs bacon into crust in last-ditch effort to compete in the pizza delivery racket

john_locanthi_haute

Food & Drink
Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Week’s trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food of the common man.As we enter the heart of football season, you might notice that Papa John’s is everywhere. “Papa” John Schnatter is hanging out with Peyton Manning. He’s sitting on a recreation of a football pregame show set with Troy Aikman. And when ...   More
 
Tuesday, October 21, 2014 JOHN LOCANTHI

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