Skip to main content
You might not know it, but we're in the era of Peak Pro Wrestling.
While it isn't the phenomenon it was in the late '80s and '90s, wrestling is everywhere it wasn't back in the days of Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Rock. It's covered with seriousness by the likes of Sports Illustrated, ESPN and the A.V. Club. It's on regular television five hours a week, while practically the entire modern history of the sport in North America is available for streaming via the WWE Network. There's so much happening, WWE has split into two brands, Raw and SmackDown.
If you're a lapsed fan, now's a good time to get reacquainted. While several guys you remember—the Undertaker, Big Show, Chris Jericho, Triple H—are still around, they're mostly part-timers. Before the Raw brand hits Moda Center, here's a primer on the new names you need to know.
Roman Reigns
Old-school equivalent: Goldberg
Who is he? That sort of depends on who you are. Are you Vince McMahon? Then Reigns is the Samoan Hulk Hogan, the obvious choice to lead WWE into a new era of prosperity. Are you the average fan? Then you probably started booing on reflex just from reading his name. He's not bad in the ring, it's just that WWE has been so insistent on making Reigns the Next Big Thing that the audience revolted against him. It doesn't help that he has the personality of a cigar store Indian. But he's also big, muscly and vaguely related to the Rock, which means he'll stay hovering around the main event until McMahon retires or Reigns gets popped for PEDs again.
Seth Rollins
Old-school equivalent: Shawn Michaels
Who is he? Rollins broke into WWE with Reigns and SmackDown's Dean Ambrose as heel Metal Gear cosplayers the Shield, and was so great at playing a sniveling asshole that fans couldn't help rooting for him. He's one of WWE's most dynamic talents, but he's earned a reputation for going a little too hard, after he prematurely ended Sting's career, then injured high-profile newcomer Finn Bálor the night he won the brand-new WWE Universal Championship, mucking up the company's plans for months.
Kevin Owens
Old-school equivalent: Bam Bam Bigelow
Who is he? Not since Mick Foley has there been a better avatar for the WWE audience. In a world of oiled-up action figures, Owens is built like Paul Blart, with a pudgy baby face barely hidden behind a dirty beard and ring attire he could've rummaged out of a Goodwill bin. Despite looking like he subsists exclusively on Slurpees and gas station nachos, the dude moves around the ring like an agile sack of mashed potatoes, and has a better handle on wrestling storytelling than many of his peers—probably because, while they were all working out, he was sitting on the couch covered in Cheetos dust watching old Bret Hart matches.
Charlotte Flair
Old-school equivalent: Ric Flair
Who is she? One of the more encouraging developments of the past few years has been the legitimization of the WWE women's division, and much of the credit for that progress is owed to Flair, who is indeed the scion of the Nature Boy himself. Maybe the comparison is too on the nose, but she's inherited her dad's skills both in the ring and on the mic. And lest anyone think she's merely the product of "superior genetics," look up footage of David Flair in WCW to see just how far the apple can fall from the tree.
Sasha Banks
Old-school equivalent: Eddie Guerrero
Who is she? If Charlotte Flair is truly her father's daughter, then Banks is Flair's Ricky Steamboat, the opponent she'll always be measured against even when they're not actively feuding. Banks' actual character, though, is more like a luchador Nicki Minaj. She's got hip-hop swagger coded into her DNA—Snoop Dogg is her cousin, and her father is Reo Varnado, owner of Reo's Ribs on Northeast Sandy Boulevard—and employs a daredevil style that's thrilling when she's in the air, and sometimes wince-inducing when she lands.
Sami Zayn
Old-school equivalent: The 1-2-3 Kid
Who is he? Like his real-life best friend, storyline forever-enemy Kevin Owens, Zayn is a normal guy trying to make it in a business dominated by monsters and muscle freaks. He's pale, freckly, skanks to the ring to the tune of his own ska-punk theme song, and looks about as intimidating as your average New Seasons stock boy. He's destined to play the plucky underdog his whole career, which is fine, because he's awesome at getting his ass kicked and even better at making an improbable comeback.
Cesaro
Old-school equivalent: Booker T.
Who is he? Nicknamed "the Swiss Superman" for his mix of size, strength and crazy athleticism, Cesaro didn't need prolonged exposure to become a cult hero among wrestling geeks. He comes to the ring in tear-away tuxedo, uppercuts the shit out of everyone, then throws some poor sap in a giant swing—a move no one's used regularly since the '70s—while the crowd counts the revolutions. You'd think he'd be a multi-time world champion by now, but he hasn't been able to uppercut his way out the midcard, probably because McMahon thinks Cesaro's wacky Euro accent makes him "too foreign" to connect with American fans.
Enzo and Cass
Old-school equivalent: The New Age Outlaws
Who are they? Wrestling catchphrases have evolved since the days when the aforementioned Outlaws became the most popular tag team of the late '90s by yelling about their dicks. Enzo and Cass have a whole four-paragraph spiel, filled with New Jersey guidoisms like "bada-boom" and "sawft." Like the Outlaws, they kind of peak before the bell even rings, but the art of pro wrestling is at least 40 percent talking, and Enzo is one of the best jabberjaws to come around in a while.
Braun Strowman
Old-school equivalent: Big Show
Who is he? In case you weren't aware, McMahon is a bit of a size king—meaning, he's got a thing for big dudes, and whether or not they can actually wrestle is usually beside the point. Strowman is the classic example of a "monster heel," a very large man who exists to ploddingly crush smaller competition before being vanquished by the next grappler WWE wants to make into a star. In the '80s, he would have headlined arenas against Hulk Hogan. Now, his fate is probably getting fed into the Roman Reigns wood chipper. Because they're gonna get him over or tank the company trying, damn it!
GO: WWE Monday Night Raw is at Moda Center, 1 N Center Court St., on Monday, Feb. 6. 4:30 pm. $20-$110. All ages.