I Ate Only Cannabis-Infused Foods for Two Days. Here's What Happened.

Eating cannabis ain't like toking it. Given how many people have had bad experiences with brownies of unknown potency, which sometimes even cause unnecessary emergency room visits, legal edible makers face an uphill battle in winning recreational customers.

Much of the negativity stems from consumers ignoring the serving-size instructions clearly printed on the packaging. It's obvious the public can't be trusted to regulate itself, forcing nanny-state-like serving-size and package-potency restrictions—in Oregon, recreational products will be limited to 15 milligrams of THC. Fortunately, this has forced craft producers to up their game in creating delectable options worthy of snacking on.

While 10 milligrams is enough for newbies, medical edibles are a different world, of course. Patients and longtime stoners may require hundreds of milligrams of cannabinoids per dose—meaning taste is often less of an issue than potency. Some, like me, can pound these lightweight candies like they're, uh, candy.

Luckily, both options are available to me. There are so many options, in fact, one could possibly survive on nothing but cannabis-infused food. In fact, I did. While recovering from a steroid shot to my back, I spent 48 hours eating meals and snacks infused with cannabis. In that time, I ate 430 milligrams of THC and 40 mg CBD.

I felt pretty good—except for all that sugar in the desserts.

Lunch No. 1

I had my first cannabis-infused lunch at 2 pm midweek, starting with a milk chocolate Grön Bite (quarter-ounce chocolate with 15 mg THC, Rose City Oreganics, $5) made with a brand-new recipe. It tasted like creamy, salted chocolate. I washed it down with ginger beer by Magic Number (12 ounces with 10 mg THC, drinkmagicnumber.com, $6), which was less sweet than its alcoholic cousin. This was followed by a gluten-, peanut-, dairy- and meat-free bar from Soft Glow (5 ounces with 7 mg THC, Bridge City Collective, $8), washed down with a serving of Cannavis Syrup (2 teaspoons with 15 mg THC, pricing and packaging information not yet available), gently stirred into a glass of soda water. I also did six dabs, but those aren't part of the story, so let's move on.

Then I ran for 3 miles.

Dinner No. 1

For dinner at home, I made pasta infused with cannabutter (one-fifth tablespoon with 30 mg THC, laurieandmaryjane.com, price varies) and had more Cannavis soda water (15 mg THC), plus a double dessert—a Peak Extracts chocolate truffle (8 grams with 8.8 mg THC/4.8 mg CBD, peakextracts.com, $5), and Honey Lavender by Drip Ice Cream (4 ounces with 15 mg THC, dripicecream.com, $9).

My back pain had been soothed at this point, though any sort of rolling over or sitting up would send it back into spasms. My wife was worried about both my near inability to walk and my high THC intake, so she decided to stay home the next day. I fell asleep on the couch at 10 pm. Seven hours later, I woke up, rolled over, sat up, and started my day.

Breakfast No. 1

I split a packet of infused CannaCane sugar (2 grams with 10 mg THC, canna-daddys.com, $4) between two cups of coffee, slathered my breakfast scramble in more cannabutter (30 mg THC), and grabbed a natural fruit strip (3.5 grams with 5 mg THC, facebook.com/SugarandLeafUSA, $5) for dessert. Next up was a cannabutter-infused, handmade caramel by Danodan Grassworks (4.5 grams with 7.5 mg THC, danodan.com, pricing not yet available) followed by two chocolate Blaze Coins (1 gram with 20 mg THC, blazepremium.com, $5).

Then I ran for 3 miles.

Post-run, I munched on a Smokiez gummy (10.5 grams with 15 mg THC, smokiez.com, $6), drank Cannavis soda water (15 mg THC) and had some leftover pasta, this time with infused coconut oil (30 mg THC). A Wyld Canna white chocolate (5 grams with 15 mg THC, wyldcanna.com, $3) and my last fruit strip (5 mg THC) were next.

At this point, my stomach started to hurt—from the sugar. Determined to push on, I grabbed my bottle of generic Imodium, and took double the recommended dosage.

Lunch No. 2

Emboldened, I grabbed another chewy Smokiez treat (15 mg THC) for my trek to Farma. I walked in, grabbed Toasty's Chipotle & Cheddar medicated cheese crisps (~~one cracker with 3 mg~~ five crackers with 14 mg THC, portlandpremium.com, $5) for my wife to try and an all-CBD Leif Medicinals chocolate truffle (30 grams with 0.75 mg THC/35 mg CBD, leifmedicinals.com, $15), and then bombed a joke about my glasses. My wife, waiting outside in the car, didn't even chuckle at my tale—so I didn't share my truffle with her.

There was an ever-present buzz as in my head at this point. Not painful, but certainly noticeable. Figuring it was the sugar, I ate the last caramel (7.5 mg THC). I'm salivating right now thinking about it.

Dinner No. 2

Dinner was two-day-old soy ginger meatballs coated in infused coconut oil (30 mg THC), then dark chocolate by Grön (15 mg THC) followed by candied fruit chocolate by Blaze (20 mg THC). Dessert was a Jolly Greens lozenge (0.2 mg CBD with 10 mg THC, jollygreens.net, $2), accompanied by me dipping a frozen Greek yogurt bar into a crushed and salted infused chocolate Blaze Coin package (20 mg THC). I fell asleep on the couch at 10:30 pm.

Breakfast No. 2

The next morning, I woke up at 5:14 am and started a breakfast of cannabutter-infused hash browns, egg, ham and spinach (45 mg THC) at 5:35 am. I ate, ran some errands, and ran 5 miles. When I got home, I celebrated with Mystery Haze and School of Pot-grown oil.

I came through this fine, but I think I'll lay off sugar for a while.

Willamette Week

I Ate Only Cannabis-Infused Foods for Two Days. Here's What Happened.

Edibles are legal on June 2. We celebrated with two days of subsistence consumption.