Skip to main content
"The nearest Shake Shack is 176 miles away. The closest In-N-Out is 245 miles. The nearest Chik-Fil-A is in Clackamas, but is the drive worth supporting their dubious politics?
In Portland, we don't have a homegrown fast-food chain with the larger-than-life reputation of these titans. (Burgerville is technically a Washington operation.) But what we do have is a local restaurant and food cart scene where talented chefs have worked up their own approximations of fast-food classics, in most cases vastly outshining their source material.
The Steam Burger at Gabriel Rucker's Canard is a version of the classic White Castle slider that is approximately 25 times more delicious than the already good original. Bunk Bar recently introduced the Bunk Burger, a spin on the classic Bob's Big Boy Burger which leaves the chubby, overalled originator's creation in the dust. Burger Stevens, Hit the Spot and Super Deluxe all serve Shake Shack-style burgers that are consistently more delicious than that wildly inconsistent franchise.
So forget that three-, four-, or 12-hour drive to sample those legendary fast-food chains. Trust me, we've got far better versions here—and they're so close, you can even ride one of those godforsaken electric scooters on the way."
—Bill Oakley, comedy writer and fast-food blogger
1. Because we're not afraid of public displays of affection…
2. Because women are in charge…
3. Because our local theater scene tells true, inspiring Oregon stories…
4. Because Kevin Calabro and Lamar Hurd make even Blazer losses fun…
5. Because we're still No. 1 in semi-factual superlatives…
6. Because we have a sixth quadrant now…
7. Because the hottest rapper in the game is obsessed with us…
8. Because Oregon is gradually getting more diverse, and in unexpected ways…
9. Because we can work it out…
10. Because we helped jump-start the movement that's changing the tech
industry…
11. Because if you want to, you can dance to…
12. Because we're so sex positive, you can take a class on…
13. Because we're working to become a bike haven again…
14. Because after walking across Antarctica, I can still come back
to my favorite dive bar…
15. Because the Blazers' game-day posters are the coolest collectibles in sports…
16. Because our airport is Beervana…
17. Because our fake fast food beats the real thing…
18. Because the Big Pipe is keeping poop out of the river…
19. Because we're making an effort to diversify the cannabis industry…
20. Because we finally have a virtual reality playland…
21. Because we have nicer weather than Hawaii (no, really)…
22. Because Basic Rights Oregon is fighting for LGTBQ+ rights—and winning…
23. Because Portland State's gym just underwent an awesome makeover…
24. …and the courthouse is getting one, too.
25. Because our hotel bars are some of the best bars in the city…
26. Because you'll spend less time in jail here than the national average…
27. Because we make some of the best guitar pedals in the biz…
28. Because our Curry is better than that other Curry…