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Love may mean never having to say you're sorry, but
you're damn sure to be apologizing if you don't at least acknowledge
this holiday of schmaltz. Luckily, Portland's restaurants, clubs and
performers have a multitude of ways to help you spread the sexy around.
Remember, love is fleeting and so are dinner reservations. Make sure to
call to nab a table.
FOOD & DRINK
V-Day at Andina
Chocolat, Chocolate and Dinner at the Heathman
V-Day Dinner at Lincoln
Honeymoon Dinner at Metrovino
V-Day Dinner at Salty's
V-Day Dinner at Beast
Sitar Music and Dinner at East India Co.
V-Day at Pix Pâtisserie
V-Day Dinner at Yakuza
V-Day Dinner at the Country Cat
V-Day Dinner at Nostrana
V-Day Dinner at London Grill
V-Day Dinners at Fenouil
Din Din Valentine's Dinners
Blood and Sand at Suzette Creperie
MUSIC/THEATER
Cirque L'Amour
Tasha Miller at Jimmy Mak's
Angie Foster at the White Eagle
20 Erotic Shorts
I Heart Improv V-Day Improv Special
Love Jones
OTHER PERVERSIONS
Departure deploys the four-course Japanese culinary tradition of kaiseki—sushi
or sashimi, salmon or Piedmontese tenderloin and ending with goods like
a Vietnamese coffee and dark chocolate tart with candied kumquats. Departure, 525 SW Morrison St., 802-5370. 4 pm-2 am Friday and Saturday, Feb. 11-12, 4 pm-midnight Monday, Feb. 14. $60.
Andina's Doris Platt de Rodriguez says her
Peruvian restaurant's Table 25 has a long history of marriage proposals
and other romantic encounters. "Every table at Andina will have the same
good omen as Table 25 [tonight]," she promises. To sweeten this deal, suspiro de limeña, a meringue-topped custard, will be served for dessert along with a half bottle of Champagne for each guest. Andina, 1214 NW Glisan St., 228-9535. 5-10:30 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $75 or more based on choice of wine.
The Heathman hosts two screenings of Chocolat—that
classic Frenchie chick flick starring a dude who looks better than your
boyfriend—plus a five-course tasting menu that's heavy on meat and
cocoa. That's great if your after-dinner plans involve bloating and
bedtime. The Heathman, 1001 SW Broadway Ave., 241-4100. 6:30 pm
Saturday and Monday Feb. 12 & 14. $75, not including beverages or
gratuity.
Owner/chef and 2010 James Beard
nominee Jenn Louis provides an earthy, three-course menu for the couple
who equates good food with sex. Lincoln, 3808 N Williams, 288-6200. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. $50 per person excluding drinks and gratuity.
The newly married foodies of
Metrovino—executive chef Greg Denton and his chef de cuisine, Gabrielle
Quiñónez Denton—share the love in the form of special dishes like baked
oysters with absinthe and bacon bread crumbs, and grilled Chateaubriand
for two. Metrovino, 1139 NW 11th Ave., 517-7778. Dinner hours Saturday-Monday, Feb. 12-14. Regular menu prices.
Salty's is promising 4-foot fountains
spouting chocolate at each table, with strawberries waiting to take a
dip. Be sure to get there early to sample select wines in the lobby
before dinner. If oenology ain't your thing, maybe the "Pheromone-Tini"
(Chambord raspberry vodka, Absolut Mandarin, triple sec) is. Salty's, 3839 NE Marine Drive, 288-4444. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. About $50-$70 for three-course dinners.
Beast knows your lady doesn't want to feel
like a beast after the check is dropped. That's why it's featuring a
light four-course meal where you can drink your weight in five cycles of
wine—"better for the post-meal lovin'..." they helpfully mention. Beast, 425 NE 30th Ave., 841-6968. 6 or 8:45 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $100. Reserve seats at beastpdx.com.
Listen to the
rhythmic string pluckings of Josh Feinberg while chowing on
hazelnut-stuffed chicken and rosemary naan from an inexpensive menu
built for two. East India Co., 821 SW 11th Ave., 227-8815. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. $65 per couple.
Aside from shoving a pair of diamond
stud earrings in a lucky box of chocolates at both locations on Monday,
Feb. 14, Pix urges Portlanders to tack anonymous love letters on the
walls of its shops. Count the "I never told yous" and "I've loved you
forevers" during tea time on V-Day eve, which comes complete with
heart-shaped French macarons, oysters on the half shell and a bottle of
Champagne. Pix Patisserie—North, 901 N Williams Ave., 282-6539. 11 am-4 pm Sunday, Feb. 13. $60-$100 per couple.
Forget the fact Yakuza is beating the
holiday horse with five courses inspired by the color red. It's hard to
hate on blood-orange scallop ceviche and braised pork cheeks with
chèvre, ancho chile oil and cauliflower puree—or the sleek Japanese
bar's wine and sake pairings. Yakuza, 5411 NE 30th Ave., 450-0893. 5:30 and 8 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $50, $75 with sake/wine pairings.
True love smells like cast-iron-skillet-fried chicken, molasses and hickory smoked duck legs, whole hog plates and Texas toast. The Country Cat, 7937 SE Stark St., 408-1414. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. Regular menu prices.
This Italian lover celebrates V-Day with a three-course prix fixe menu featuring Dungeness crab bruschetta, oxtail stew and winter squash gnocchi. Nostrana, 1401 SE Morrison St., 234-2427. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. $50.
Belly pours some special cocktails (the
Jim Beam Manhattan is dubbed "Barry White's Mix") to lubricate three
courses involving sweetbreads, pork cheeks and a dark chocolate tart
with peanut-butter mousse. Belly, 3500 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 249-9764. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. $49.
London
Grill reads our minds with 28 days of Valentine's dinners at the classy
price of $69. We're talkin' butter-poached lobster tails, prime rib and
chocolate baked Alaska. The London Grill at The Benson Hotel, 309 SW Broadway, 227-8794. Dinner hours through Monday, Feb. 28. $69.
Chef Jake Martin of Fenouil creates
two separate five-course menus so meat lovers and meat haters can eat
together in harmony. Think heirloom beets vs. roasted duck breast;
tortellini with shaved Oregon truffle battling a natural shoulder
tenderloin. Everybody will probably love the Guanaja chocolate torte. Fenouil, 900 NW 11th Ave., 525-2225. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. $65 per person, $40 extra for wine.
The art/design collaborative the
Art Department pairs up with the Din Din catering crew to bring a long
weekend of sexy, wine-soaked courses (with more wine to pair). Think
foie gras with candied kumquat, mussels and treviso, and Armagnac
truffles. The Art Department, 1315 SE 9th Ave. 7:30 pm Saturday-Monday, Feb. 12-14. $75. Info and reservations at 971-544-1350 or courtney@dindinportland.com.
Watch Blood and Sand (that'd be Rudolph Valentino's silent film about a love triangle involving a bullfighter, not
the softcore gladiator-porn TV show), while dining on bacon-stuffed
gougeres and bay scallop crêpes for a price so cheap you could bring two
dates. Suzette Creperie, 2921 NE Alberta St., 473-8657. 6 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $20.
In elementary school, I gave Disney-themed
valentines to everyone in my second-grade class except the dude I was
crushing on (it was too personal). Then, I sat back and watched as he
hand-delivered a glitter-glue heart made from red construction paper to
that blond bitch who sat next to me. It was agonizing. Maybe the crew
behind Mortified Portland (who rehash awkward adolescent writings
onstage) have some stories that can match the pain, if only for a few
hours. Mission Theatre, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. Doors 6 pm,
show 8 pm Thursday-Friday, Feb. 10-11. $12. Order online at
getmortified.com.
A live tribute to Charlie Chaplin's The Circus with a four-course meal and performances by Tommy Twimble, Kazum, AWOL Dance and others. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., wanderlustcircus.com. 6 and 9 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $75-$400.
Tasha Miller is some combination
of artist and sorceress (she plans to "woo you with wholesome love,
golden tones, a silver lining"). Whatever she is, if you're interested
in seeing her perform live jazz, she'll be the thing in front of the
band and dressed in plenty of fancy red velvet. Jimmy Mak's, 221 NW 19th Ave., 295-6542. 8-11 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $10.
Angie Foster sings songs from
current and past releases, and speaks openly about her many unsuccessful
attempts at pregnancy. She is currently seven months' pregnant with
twins. The show, called "I Love You, I Hate You," is inspired by the
holiday. This is really happening. White Eagle Saloon, 836 N Russell St., 282-6810. 9:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 12. $6 at the door.
The Working Theatre Collective presents 20 short plays on erotic themes by local writers. Eff Space, 333 NE Hancock St., Studio 14. 893-9075. 8 pm Feb. 10-14 and 17-20. $10-$15 sliding scale.
Improv comedy inspired by love, romance, dating and assorted disasters. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7 pm. $15.
Portland Story Theater spins tales of love and sex. Wine and chocolate are included. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 793-5484. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, 2 and 7 pm Sunday, Feb. 11-13. $15.
If you think the
reason you don't have a Valentine this year has to do with your face,
let the experts (Inspire Style, Fada Salon, Event Cosmetics) try and fix
that for you. Champagne and cupcakes will be served during the beauty
bash, and Mabel & Zora will offer 15 percent off purchases. Mabel & Zora, 748 NW 11th Ave., 241-5696. 3-8 pm Thursday, Feb. 10. Free.
Find more out-of-the-box local V-Day events and offerings here.
WWeek 2015