Forget mud, vegetable oil and Jell-O. In Pittsburgh, the ladies wrestle in pudding.
Ashley Ryon, the woman who invented the sport, is hoping her particular brand of custard-based chaos will take off in Portland.
In this Friday's
Portland premiere Pudding Wrestling Massacre, about 10 ladies—"a mix of
average people, not just strippers," Ryon assures us—will don costumes
and stage names, then battle it out, tournament-style, in a wading pool
full of pudding.
Despite the dress-ups
and desserts, the wrestling is the real deal, she says, with no
WWE-style rehearsed bouts or predetermined winners. Competitors will
have to struggle through sweet, creamy sludge and pin their opponent for
three seconds to advance to the next round. Proceedings will take place
under the highly professional scrutiny of judges Portlandia producer David Cress, beard-about-town Jedediah Aaker and, of course, Voodoo Doughnut's Tres Shannon.
"I have had quite a
few arguments with people who find it degrading," Ryon admits. "But it's
the opposite. Girls get to have costumes, theme songs, and everyone is
paying attention to them having fun. It's empowering. It's like roller
derby. Itâs a sportâthey use skill to win.â
So why pudding?
"Pudding smells good, tastes good and when it dries, it's easily
cleanable. It looks more attractive than ketchup," Ryon says. "We use
vanilla—white looks a lot better than chocolate, which suggests
something else."
Yup, white goop is way more innocent.
GO: Pudding Wrestling Massacre is at Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd., on Friday, March 23. 10 pm. $10. 21+.
Headout Picks
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 21
KRONOS QUARTET
[MUSIC] The worldâs primary instigator of
forward-looking new music returns to Portland to perform, among other
works, Steve Reichâs latest haunting masterpiece, WTC 9/11. Unmissable. Kaul Auditorium at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd., 294-6400. 7:30 pm. $25-$45.
THE ART OF THE BRICK
[LEGOS] New York-based artist
Nathan Sawaya likes to play with toysâLegos, specifically, spending more
than six figures annually on the plastic bricks. His obsession
currently takes shape in The Art of the Brick, a collection of three-dimensional sculptures and large portraits assembled entirely from Legos. No touching! OMSI, 1945 SE Water Ave., 797-4000. 9:30 am-5:30 pm through April 29. $9-$12. FRIDAY, MARCH 23
NOIRVILLE
[MOVIES] You want Bogie back to back in The Maltese Falcon, then The Big Sleep? You want âem both on 35 mm? You got it, kid. Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave., 223-4515. The Maltese Falcon screens at 7 pm; The Big Sleep at 8:55 pm. $6, or $9 for double feature.
SUNDAY, MARCH 25
NOT YOUR AVERAGE SUNDAY DRIVE
[ART STUNT] The inaugural effort of Very
American Theater is an artful road rally and scavenger hunt in which
participants will follow written directions over an unmarked course in
East Portland. Lunch is included. Powell Butte, 16160 Powell Blvd., veryamericantheater.org. 9:30 am. $40 per team (one driver and one navigator per vehicle). MONDAY, MARCH 26
RERUN THEATER: TV KNOWS BEST
[MOVIES] Nick Wellsâ inspired
monthly
screenings of childhood boob-tube junk food, complete with commercials
for actual junk food, continue with a program dedicated to Very Special
Episodesâin this case, from Family Ties and Mr. Belvedere. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 7:30 pm. $5.
TUESDAY, MARCH 27
OREGON HISTORY PROJECT
Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale. 6:30 pm in the Power Station Theater. Free. oregonencyclopedia.org. WWeek 2015
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