13. Nickelback knows how to make friends.
Recent corporate tie-ins include a deal with the NHL and a "Blackjack with Nickelback" contest with Clear Channel.
12. Nickelback didnât mastermind 9/11.
This we know from solid forensic evidence.
11. Frontman Chad Kroegerâs teeth are nice.
Maybe a little
too
nice....
10. I would also like âa bath
room I can play baseball in.â
That's a pretty cool lyric, Chad.
9. âWhen We Stand Togetherâ has a positive message about feeding the hungry and such.
The details—"Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"—are a bit sketchy.
8. I like the guitar tones on âBurn it to the Ground.â
No, really, it sounds cool.
7. Nickelback knows how to handle rejection.
After being pelted with rocks in
Portugal, the band just stopped playing and flipped off the crowd. Which
makes Nickelback more even-tempered than Metta World Peace, who started
a riot in Detroit after being pelted with a cup of water.
6. Chad Kroegerâs hair is very versatile.
Far more than his singing or guitar playing.
5. Nickelback brings U.S. culture to its native Canada.
A culture of chugging energy drinks and driving way too fast in shitty old trucks.
4. Nickelback sounds less like a Bush cover band than it did on The State.
I'm actually not sure if that's a nice thing to say.
3. No one details the psychopath-dating-a-stripper dynamic better.
"I'm hating what she's wearing/ Everybody here keeps
staring/ Can't wait till they get what they deserve/ This time
somebody's getting hurt."
2. The word âNickelbackâ is fun to say.
Even more fun when you put the word "sucks" after it.
1. Nickelback unites us.
No matter the forces that try to divide us, all reasonable people can agree that Nickelback sucks.
SEE IT: Nickelback plays the Rose Garden on Thursday, June 21. 6 pm. $39.50-$79. All ages.
Headout Picks
WEDNESDAY JUNE 20
PEDALPALOOZA
[BIKES] Riding events stay weird through
the end of June. This week, Portlandâs MILFs, wizards, robots, skeptics
and (scariest of all) lawyers take to the streets. Various locations. Free. Calendar at bit.ly/L0vW10. FRIDAY JUNE 22
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER
[MOVIES] Itâs Abraham Lincoln. Killing vampires. Need we say more? Multiple theaters.
MARK GARDENER
[MUSIC] Mark Gardener has no new album,
but that doesnât mean he hasnât been busy. The 42-year-old former member
of shoegaze dynamo Ride spends most of his days producing U.K. bands. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $10. 21+. SATURDAY JUNE 23
NW CIDER SUMMIT
[DRINK] Portlandâs cider festival is
back for a second year. More than 50 ciders from Oregon, Washington,
British Columbia, California, England, France and Spain will be
available to taste, plus food from Lebanese restaurant Ya Hala, live
music and cider-pressing demonstrations. Elizabeth Caruthers Park, 3508 SW Moody. cidersummitnw.com. 11 am-7 pm. $20-$25. DR. SEUSS
[PERFORMANCE] Bringing Dr. Seuss off the page and onto the stage, AMP Theater will present four classicsâThe Cat in the Hat, Fox in Socks, Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose and Horton Hears a Who!âthrough music, acrobatics and other theatrics. Bossanova
Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., 206-7630, amptheater.com. 5 pm (all ages)
and 9:30 pm (21+) Saturday, 7:30 pm (all ages) Sunday, June 23-24. $15
advance, $20 at the door. PALINDROMANIA
[AINAMORDNILAP] Never odd or even, the
Peculiarium is where the worldâs reigning palindrome champion Mark
Saltveit performs his palindrome slam. Competing in Brooklyn against six
other palindromists, Saltveit earned his title with this winner: âDevil
Kay fixes trapeze part; sex if yak lived.â Peculiarium, 2234 NW Thurman St., peculiarium.com. 7 pm. $7. MONDAY JUNE 25
LAURA MARLING
[MUSIC] Marling introduced herself to
the nu-folk community when she was 16, performing with the
once-ubiquitous Noah and the Whale. Her new album, A Creature I Donât Know, shows more than a hint of Joni Mitchellâs sweet poetics. Itâs also fantastic. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. 8 pm. $20-$22. All ages (minors must be accompanied by a parent or guardian). WWeek 2015
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