New Yearâs Eve events are always a little
bit falsely inflated; theyâre the party equivalent of a real-estate
bubble that bursts at about the same time as your liver. The bar parties
usually cost at least $10 more than they should, and this places a
strange pressure on your evening: You. Must. Have. Fun. Or you have
wasted your year and your life.
And so, the endless theming and partitioning of parties—as
if we are all rejoining the high-school prom—so that we can enjoy the
buoyant weightlessness of feeling foreign to ourselves. It is, in its
own way, bliss.
We've gathered together this year's most
favored party themes, that we may endure ennui in impolite abandon. And
we will not remember when!
DRUNKEN GUMBO
Acadia Bistro
Longtime New Orleans spot Acadia will host a New
Orleans-style three-course dinner with lobster, crawfish, pumpkin hush
puppies, Louisiana speckled trout with squash and, yes, gumbo. Champagne
at midnight.
Acadia Bistro, 1303 NE Fremont St., 249-5001, creolapdx.com. 5 pm-close. $65 .
Crescent City Crepes
When the going gets drunk, the French go Cajun. Prix fixe
featuring cornmeal crepes with shrimp étouffée or collards maque choux,
plus oysters and black peas. Live "jazz à l'américaine" from Crash
Parlor.
Suzette Creperie, 3342 SE Belmont St., 546-0892, suzettepdx.com. 6:30 pm-close. $32 .
New Iberians
Cajun food buffet, champagne toast, and
live music from Portland Cajun outfit the New Iberians. âAmerican Quirkâ
music to start. Fraternal Order of Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne
Blvd., 232-7505, foe.com. $10 advance at Avalon Antiques, 410 SW Oak
St., 224-7156. $15 door.
¡FELIZ ANO NUEVO!
Melao de Cuba
Salsa dancing with live music from Melao de Cuba. Dance lessons available at 9 pm. Mississippi Pizza Pub, 3553 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3231, mississippipizza.com. Doors 8 pm. $12. Andina
Three-course Peruvian prix fixe paired with a half-bottle of champagne, plus live Latin-jazzy music. Andina, 1314 NW Glisan St., 228-9535, andinarestaurant.com. Seating 5:30-9:30 pm. $85-$165.
PUT A COVER VERSION ON IT
Pigs on the Wing
Pink Floyd tribute band Pigs on the Wing will play Pink Floyd covers. No word on the laser light show or mental breakdowns. Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 360-1450, thetabor.com. 9 pm. $12 advance, $15 door.
Headbangerâs New Yearâs Eve Ball
Weâre pretty sure Deep Purple got nowhere
near MTV, but still, an unholy trio of tribute bands: Hellion (Judas
Priest), Holy Diver (Dio) and Highway Star (Deep Purple). Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd., 233-1700, hawthornetheatre.com. 8:30 pm. $8 advance, $10 door. Wheels in the Sky
The Facebook invite to this Journey tribute bandâs event specifically asks for the attention of âmiddle-aged sex addicts.â Jimmy Makâs, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542, jimmymaks.com. 8 pm. $20-$25. For a minimum of $89, you get: pizza, hors d'oeuvres, and a
glass of champagne, plus an '80s tribute band. Ask yourself: Dear God…
why?
If you have an answer, you've hit rock bottom.
Hilton Portland and Executive Tower, 921 SW 6th Ave., 226-1611. 8 pm. $89-$119
.
PORTLAND VEGAS: THE REVUES
Pink Martini
Portlandâs longtime ultra-lounge act. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 9:30 pm. $45-$105. All ages. Storm Large
Large is Portlandâs own version of Vegas, a lady Elvis who need never leave the stage. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694, aladdin-theater.com. 7 pm. $50.
INDIE-DANCE PANTS
Holocene NYE
Honey Owens and Rafael Fauriaâs
hipster-house Miracles Club, DJ Beyondaâs soul stew, plus a âmega-jamâ
featuring Jeffrey Jerusalem, Brainstorm and members of Sex Life, among
other entertainments. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639, holocene.org. 9 pm. $18-$25. GET IN!
Ah, a two-venue dance party (Dig a Pony,
Union/Pine) connected by a beer bus that goes a mere five or six blocks.
DJs and bands include Cooky Parker, Shy Girls, Nathan Detroit and
Freaky Outy. Union/Pine, 525 SE Pine St., unionpine.com. 8 pm. $15 (call 201-3354 for tickets).
THE BURLESQUE THAT IS LIFE
Sideshow Circus
As if the night werenât circus enough, Portland Playhouse promises âgames and odditiesâ amid a cocktail-costume dance party. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822, portlandplayhouse.org. 8 pm. $45-$55. Curious Comedy NYE Extravaganza
The troupe promises sketch comedy, improv, standup and acrobatics of some sort, plus mini-vittles and some champagne. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Blvd., 477-9477, curiouscomedy.org. 8 pm. $50-$60. Jimmy Pardo
The Never Not Funny host and former Conan OâBrien warm-up comic does a double set. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 643-8669. 7:30 and 10 pm. $25-$52. WWeek 2015
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