You're Not High in Portland Until...

28 things to do when stoned in Stumptown.

By RUSTY FEATHERCAP
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Picnic at the Skidmore Bluffs...
Worship at the Grotto...
This 62-acre shrine near the airport is crazy enough when you’re straight. Be sure and take the glass elevator up to the meditation chapel—those sound like Beatles lyrics, but it’s all freaky real—and proceed to have your mind blown.
Play some disc golf...
Take in the view at Portland City Grill...
Start a noise project...
Hit the strip club...
Visit an open-mic night...
Perform at an open-mic night...
Have post-midnight snacks at Montage...
Where everyone is yelling and you get your leftover alligator jambalaya wrapped in foil shaped like a giant Tommy gun. Not weird at all.
Ride the Portland Aerial Tram...
Best $57 million ever spent on a three-minute joyride in a pod. Remember, you’re inside a sperm headed for a giant egg.
Play skee ball at Chuck E. Cheese’s...
Your childhood was not preserved in amber—it is all kinds of fucked up and rearranged now, and you must accept this truth!
Walk a dog at Kelley Point Park...
See living, sucking history at the Stark’s Vacuum Cleaner Museum...
Fuuuuck
Visit Packy at the Oregon Zoo...
Take up knitting...
Eat that stupid doughnut burger at the Original...
Do happy hour at Sniff Dog Hotel...
Watch Portland Development Commission meetings on Cable Access...
SimCity
Blast off at Space Room...
 
Have enchiladas at Esparza’s...
Spend three hours at Movie Madness...
Up in Smoke
Harold & Kumar
Fried Green Tomatoes
Hang out in some of our city’s lovely hotel lobbies...
Benson’s
Absorb the insanity of Rimsky-Korsakoffee House...
Play Wii in the Clown Room...
Funhouse Lounge
Google Beau Breedlove...
Actually go to Voodoo Doughnut for once...
Get a few high scores at Ground Kontrol...
High
Jet boats...
 

WWeek 2015

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