Bar Guide 2013: Five by Five

The Drunken List of Lists

VELO CULT
By WW Culture Staff
bars a to z bars by neighborhood lists crawls bars by type intro victory hale blue old town happy hour

Taverns Dubiously Tavernous

The Woodsman Tavern
4537 SE Division St., 971-373-8264, woodsmantavern.com
Is calling a swanky place a tavern good for business? The minimal drinking snacks are a cute touch, but this upscale brunch and dinner restaurant is as much a tavern as it is a gathering spot for lumberjacks.

Brix Tavern
1338 NW Hoyt St., 943-5995, brixtavern.com
Perhaps it’s the old-time feeling of the word? While this neighborhood brunch, lunch and dinner spot touts its tavern “vibe,” we do draw the line at tablecloths.

Sunshine Tavern
3111 SE Division St., 688-1750, sunshinepdx.com
Or maybe it feels like grown-ups’ night out? But when children outnumber adults 2-to-1 at happy hour, let’s call it what it is: an upper-middle-class, Southern-fried pizzeria.

Davis Street Tavern
500 NW Davis St., 505-5050, davisstreettavern.com
Davis is a fence-sitter, we’ll concede—an after-business eating spot that closes more reluctantly than some.

Red Star Tavern & Roast house
503 SW Alder St., 222-0005, redstartavern.com
Oh, please. This is a Red Robin with much nicer things. There’s a reason no one drinks at an airport “tavern.”


Live Animals

The Tannery Bar
5425 E Burnside St., 236-3610. 5 pm-1 am Monday-Saturday.
Filbert (Phil for short) is a massive chocolate Lab who sits on the rug near the record players. Don’t trip over him on your way to the restroom.

Leisure Public House
8002 N Lombard St., 289-7606, leisurepublichouse.com.
Leisure’s spacious patio is the stalking grounds of Masha the Pub Cat, a gray shorthair with a melon of a head who nuzzles up to patrons while they drink.

 Cascade Brewing Barrel House
939 SE Belmont St., 265-8603, cascadebrewingbarrelhouse.com. 
During the summer months, the bar’s patio looks out on grazing goats that have been hired to mow the 2-acre lot across the street. Don’t feed them. They’re getting fed.

 Moloko
3967 N Mississippi Ave., 288-6272, molokopdx.com.
Moloko, amid stiff drinks that will swim up your head, is also home to three massive fish tanks built into the bar, with tiny fish darting in and out of fake coral.

 North End Bar & Grill, Portland Meadows
1001 N Schmeer Road, portlandmeadows.com.
Throughout the summer months and up to December, the bar overlooks live horse racing, which for the gambler at heart beats video poker by a mile. Literally.


Dead Animals

Roadside Attraction
1000 SE 12th Ave., 233-0743, 3 pm-1 am daily. Cash only.
Amid fake shrunken heads and dragon heads and roosters in a knickknack-strewn pub, there’s an actual pufferfish floating above the bar, slightly the worse for wear. America!

 Beech Street Parlor
412 NE Beech St., 946-8184, beechstreetparlor.com.
Beech Street Parlor has a cat wandering around—perhaps it’s what killed the rabbit whose stuffed head was creepily attached to deer antlers to make a wall-hung jackalope.

 Ringside Fish House
838 SW Park Avenue, 227-3900, ringsidefishhouse.com.
Whale jaw. We can overlook the wall-hung, tail-chasing menagerie of plasticine regular-sized fish on the walls of the lounge. Because there’s a whale jaw. And it’s huge.

 Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave., 971-279-4409, digaponyportland.com.
Every Portland bar and its cousin has a deer taxidermy on the wall. So props to Dig a Pony, we suppose, for dispensing with deer-stuffers’ lifelike illusions and going for the Texas-style longhorn skull and its forever deathly rictus.

Sauvage
537 SE Ash St., No. 102, 971-258-5829, sauvagepdx.com.
In case you were starting too get too comfortable at this wine bar, a stuffed goose is parked on the barrels behind you in constant attack mode. And geese are fucking scary. They made our sister cry when she was 6.

Biker Bars

Hopworks BikeBar 
(3947 N Williams Ave., 287-6258, hopworksbeer.com).
It doesn’t get more gear-friendly than this 75-parking-spot, tool-equipped bar on North Williams Avenue. 

 Velo Cult
1969 NE 42nd Ave.,922-2012, velocult.com. 
California-expat bike-geek bar and shop Velo Cult will actually fix your bike while you drink. (We recommend walking home if you require three pints’ worth of repair.)

 The Workshop
2524 SE Clinton St., 954-1606.
The Workshop does not work on your bike, but the tool-studded, tucked-away bar on bike-friendly Clinton Street has plenty of parking.

 Apex 
1216 SE Division St., 273-9227, apexbar.com.
Bike people are often beer people and vice versa—Apex has outfitted its sidewalks with plenty of racks to reflect this.

 Beulahland
118 NE 28th Ave., 235-2794, beulahlandpdx.com.
Handy adjacent bike corral and terrible nearby car parking aside, we only ever see people arrive by bike to Beulah. It’s just the way of the place.

Drinks You Can Eat

Cockshake at Foster Burger
5339 SE Foster Road, 775-2077, fosterburger.com.
Consume your booze with a spoon after a shot of well liquor is dumped into the Southeast burger joint’s super-thick shakes ($6.50).

 Tasty Mary with Jerky at Tasty N Sons
3808 N Williams Ave., 621-1400, tastyntasty.com.
Beef jerky joins vodka, tomato juice, celery and pickles of various types tossed in a celery-salt-rimmed glass at this fancy bruncherie ($9).

 Oyster shooters at EaT 
3808 N Williams Ave., Suite 122, 281-1222, eatoysterbar.com.
Next door to Tasty, this New Orleans-inspired restaurant has five types of oysters swimming in booze for $3. The original has vodka; the Hombre has chili-infused tequila with lemon and lime.

 Bubble Tea Cocktails at the Tea Zone and Camellia Lounge
510 NW 11th Ave., 221-2130, teazone.com.
Home of infamous Trubble Tea, with $8 bubble tea cocktails such as the Pirate Janey (green tea, pineapple, coconut and coconut rum).

 Craft Jell-O Shots at Interurban 
4057 N Mississippi Ave., 284-6669, interurbanpdx.com.
An off-menu nightly special, the Jell-O shots are made with cocktail-quality liquor, liqueur, bitters and, of course, gelatin (often $3).

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