But, like Elan Gale’s Thanksgiving feud with an imaginary airplane passenger, it was a hoax: Another comedian had been behind the Pace account all along, and Kinane was the punked do-gooder left with his tail between his legs. To welcome Kinane to Portland—he hits Helium for a three-night stand starting Thursday, Jan. 9—we asked him to troll a few other companies on Twitter. Here’s what he wrote.
@cirquedusoleil You guys are just KISS with gymnastics but I’ll keep it a secret for a couple tickets to that horse show you guys are putting on out by the airport.
@wikileaks Big Mac sauce is just thousand island dressing. I moved to Switzerland just so I could tell the world this.
@Bojangles One time when I was 19 and in Florida one of your employees called me a bitch because I couldn’t finish my biscuits and I haven’t been back since, fyi.
@DrWho Can’t you do at least ONE episode where Bill and Ted crash into the Tardis with their phone booth?
I’ve been telling people I’ve been investing my retirement with the help of @ParkerBrothers and @MiltonBradley. Not as many people catch on as you’d hope.
@campbellsfood You guys should give me some free soup for that Pace Salsa debacle that happened a month ago.
GO: Kyle Kinane is at Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday and 7:30 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, Jan. 9-11. $15-$25.