Skip to main content
Near where ocean waters cascaded off the earth's edge,
old maps had a warning: "Here be dragons." At Portland's old-time Hal's
Tavern, you might have needed the same heads-up; the bar was always full
of grizzled men who woke to boozy tumblers that dragged them to the
depths. At There Be Monsters, there are currently no monsters—although
there are a lot of veteran bikers, the modern age's closest thing to
pirates—and the seas are all well-charted, lit by Edison bulbs and a
kitschy glowing mustache propped behind the bar. It's a sort of midrange
hangout Portland specializes in these days, a rehabbed dive with
intentional rough edges—an unfinished wall, a patio like a storage
locker—with sturdy old-time cocktails and taps that include Breakside
Pilsner and a terrific barrel-aged cider from Carlton. The food is
whatever you might find on a British ship, whether shepherd's pie or
salmagundi. But whatever the colonial theme, the real piece of history
is the midcentury shuffleboard table, which the bar inherited from
Hal's. Multiple customers have bragged across the bar about their
boarding prowess, telling it like an old fish tale—something from times
long gone, when there were things to fear on Southeast Morrison.
Happy hour: 4-7 pm Monday-Friday. $3.50 wells, $4 pints, $5.50 cider pints, $2 Rainier, High Life and PBR.
Our Favorite 178 Portland Bars | Bar of the Year: Stammtisch | Best Bars No. 2-5
Strip Club Hangouts | Sports Bars | Shot 'n' a Back | English Bars | Dessert Cocktails
Patio Bars | Bars That Look Like Houses | Skee-ball Bars | Cart Pod Bars
Where to Eat After Bar Close | The Most Important Little Bar 'Hood in Portland
WWeek 2015