Fair Folk: 8 People You'll Meet at the Oregon Country Fair

By Lizzy Acker

Identify him by: His hair in a bun, a “This Is What a Feminist Looks Like” T-shirt and sandals he “bought from a local artisan in Guadalajara,” pronounced with rolled r’s.

Where to find him: Incorrectly mansplaining falafel ingredients to his much-younger girlfriend at Nearly Normal's food booth.

Identify her by: A muddy-colored hand-tie-dyed shirt with a “girl power” slogan. A wood cookie on a gimp necklace that says “Fern,” “Buttercup,” “Sierra” or “Aspen.”

Where to find her: Ogling the open-toed shoes and male-gendered people at the Blue Moon Stage.

Identify them by: Glowstick necklaces.

Where to find them: Asking everyone at Ambiance on the Path if they have a camping pass, gratuitously mentioning Robot Heart.

Identify her by: Her very large belly painted with a questionable depiction of planet Earth being held by a pair of uneven hands. Her breasts painted as flowers.

Where to find her: Hula-Hooping with two naked and muddy children covered in some unidentifiable pox at the Main Stage.


Identify them by: 
Bloodshot eyes, too-new shoes, Oregon Country Fair tie-dye shirt purchased at the entry booth, iPhone constantly buzzing with “Mom” on the screen, backpack with nothing in it. OK, so stop asking.

Where to find them: In a pack with other Super-High High-School Students, on the sidelines of a drum circle, making incomprehensible jokes and then laughing inappropriately when they see a naked old man.

Identify them by: Handmade full-leather outfit, head to toe.

Where to find them: Struggling to make a matchless fire to start a hand animal skin tanning demonstration in front of their authentic tepee.

Identify him by: His neutral-colored U of O polo shirt, neutral-colored khaki shorts, neutral-colored Arizona Birkenstocks.

Where to find him: Following a pack of Super-High High-School Students at a distance of about two booths, darting into a ceramics display anytime one of them turns around.

Identify them by: Their not-ironic NRA baseball caps. Their perfectly normal haircuts. Their aggravated looks.

Where to find them: Selling water, strawberries and
weed brownies at the side of Route 126.

GO: The 46th annual Oregon Country Fair is July 10-12 at 24550 Chickadee Lane, Elmira, 541-343-4298, oregoncountryfair.org. 11 am-7 pm. $23-$59.

WWeek 2015

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