BALLS AND BASHES
MOST MAGICAL EVENING Arctic Chill New Year's at Aura
Gravity got you down? This party's guaranteed to get at least a few people high—namely the hot chicks (and chicos) of Pendulum Aerial Dance Theatre. This high-flying troupe will perform alongside living statues and mind-blowing contortionists as you wander through la-la land, drink in hand. Expect a truly transcendent experience topped off with a sparkly artificial snowfall at midnight. 1022 W Burnside St., 597-2872. Dinner seating between 5 and 8 pm. $10 cover, $25 VIP. 21+.
Cosmopolitan New Year's at Bar 71
Swanky red curtains, amber mood lighting, DJ, dancing, martinis and cigars. 9 NW 2nd Ave., 241-4343. 21+.
BEST WAY TO DRINK 'N' DRESS ON THE CHEAP Jewel and Mule New Year's at Dots Cafe
First, a vocabulary lesson: A mule is a slipper or shoe that exposes the heel. Now, Dots says a mule is another term for fancy, closed-toed spiked heels. But who the hell cares? The point is, Dots is hosting a free dress-up party on an otherwise ultra-expensive night. So dust off yer clip-on ties and earrings, your rhinestones and your fake fur wrap. But keep that cover charge in your pocket 'til you're ready to buy the next round of gin and tonics. Party favors for all, tunes by DJ T-1-11, and a champagne toast at midnight. 2521 SE Clinton St., 235-0203. 9 pm. Free. 21+.
Rock 'n' Roll New Year's at Dixie Tavern
Rock 'n' roll, champagne and the champagne of beers: Miller High Life. Trucker hats encouraged. 34 NW 3rd St., 234-9431. 21+.
2nd Annual Fir Ball at Doug Fir
Dahlia, Suckapunch, King Fader, DJ Tant and Knotty Disco, featuring DJ Mr. Mumu and Barrett Paul. 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $30, $25 advance, free admission to upstairs bar, restaurant and patio. 21+.
Cowboy New Year's at Duke's
Country DJ, dancing, mechanical bull, party favors and buffet. Cowboy hats encouraged. 14601 SE Division St., 760-1400. Buffet begins at 5 pm. 21+.
QUEEREST PLACE TO PARTY 'TIL COCKS CROW Platinum Ball at CC Slaughters
Portland's slickest queer disco destination gets down with scantily clad male go-go dancers, all-silver decor, hot boys and cool New Year's toys. Hosted by Bolivia Carmichaels, music by DJ Alex Hollywood. Bonuses: party favors and a champagne toast. 200 NW 3rd Ave., 248-9135. 9 pm. $10. 21+.
Andaz New Year's at the Fez
DJ Anjali and The Incredible Kid. Pre-dance magic show by Shreeyash Palshikar, party favors and a champagne toast. 316 SW 11th Ave., 221-7262. 9 pm. $10. 21+.
BEST BABY(BOOMER)-SITTER 15th Annual Champagne Ball at the Hilton
So you want to party all night long but you can't find anybody to mind your misbehaving parents? Drop them off at the mega-huge Champagne Ball for some karaoke and dancing before you take off to Sabala's or the Wonder Ballroom. No need to pack them a snack—an appetizer buffet and late-night pizza will keep their mouths stuffed. And just in case there's an emergency, qualified experts behind 18 bars will be on hand to administer homeopathic alcohol remedies for all variety of ailments. 5 Guys Named Moe, DJ Mr. Goodie2Shoes, DJ Sugar and Def Jef the Apprentice perform. Countdown includes balloon drop, a champagne toast and video projections on 25 screens. Portland Hilton and Executive Tower, 921 SW 6th Ave., 226-1611 or 224-8499. 8 pm. $65-$75+ (TicketsWest). 21+.
Irish New Year's at Kells
Tillers Folley, DJ, Irish pipe band, buffet, complimentary light appetizers, champagne toast and party favors. 112 SW 2nd Ave., 227-4057. $20, $10 after midnight. 21+.
White Ball at McFadden's
Dress in all-white attire, just like P. Diddy. Champagne toast, balloon and money drop, and complimentary appetizers. 107 NW Couch St., 220-5055. 8 pm. $20. 21+.
GLBT Community Benefit at Red Lion
A dance party and celebration for Portland and Vancouver's GLBT community. DJ Lauren, full bar, food, party favors, auction and midnight toast. Shenanigan's Waterfront Ballroom, Red Lion Hotel, 909 N Hayden Island Drive, 727-3306. To purchase tickets, visit plchoir.org. 8 pm. $25 advance. All ages.
BEST PLACE TO THROW YER HANDS IN THE AIR Winter Wonderland Ball at Wonder Ballroom
Yeah, OK, local combo Lifesavas gets Portland hip-hoppin' every New Year's Eve. But folks still seem to care about ol' Vursatyl, Jumbo and Rev. Shines—for good reason. This time around, the hip-hop troupe promises new songs and never-before-heard arrangements, plus some super-secret special guests. DJ KEZ gets the night started, followed by Lightheaded's Braille, Ohmega Watts, Othello and Muneshine, plus DJ KEZ again. Champagne toast at midnight. 128 NE Russell St., 224-4400. 8 pm. $20+ (Ticketmaster). 21+.
TASTIEST WAY TO NIP BAD LUCK IN THE BUD Andina
What do 12 grapes and an empty suitcase have to do with a happy New Year's? Find out at Andina's three-course Peruvian feast, featuring live Latin music by the Gypsy Jazz Trio and the Toshi Onizuka Trio. Dress in yellow and order Veuve Clicquot champagne for extra good luck in 2006. 1314 NW Glisan St., 228-9535. Seatings at 6, 6:30, 9 and 9:30 pm. $50-$135.
Tapas, door prizes, free flights of wine every half-hour from 10 to 11:30 pm, and a cava toast with the traditional 12 grapes. Flamenco guitar by Antonio Legovia from 10 pm to 1 am. 3731 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 236-4760.
Five-course menu paired with wine. 1752 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 231-7373. Reservations starting at 5:30 pm. $125, $80 without wine.
Three-, five- or seven-course menus. 1001 SW Water Ave., 235-2294. $50-$100.
Clyde's Prime Rib Restaurant and Bar
Regular menu, plus lobster, London broil and dessert specials. Party includes free appetizer buffet, party favors, champagne toast, plus Lloyd Allen and his band. 5474 NE Sandy Blvd., 291-9200. 5-9 pm dinner, 9 pm party. $15 cover, $5 cover for dinner guests.
Five-course special menu, champagne, party favors and dancing to Giovanni's Latin Jazz Ensemble. 824 SW 1st Ave., 248-4709. $55 dinner, $10 cover to see the band.
Six-course tasting menu, includes champagne. Regular French menu also served. 900 NW 11th Ave., 525-2225. 6:15 and 9:15 pm. $115 first seating, $150 second seating.
Prix fixe menu includes appetizer, entree, dessert and a choice of a bottle of champagne, red or white wine. Live jazz courtesy of the Brian Ward Trio, champagne toast at midnight. 315 1st St., Lake Oswego, 697-8889. $50.
Supplementary menu featuring special dishes from Fratelli's favorite events of 2005. 1230 NW Hoyt St., 241-8800.
Gotham Bldg Tavern
Sherry, cava and Iberian wine matched with three-, five- or seven-course Spanish-influenced menus. 2240 N Interstate Ave., 235-2294. $45-$80.
Seven-course dinner. Second seating includes belly dancing, live jazz with Eric Skye, dancing and a champagne toast. 2930 NE Killingsworth St., 493-9521. 5 and 8 pm. $90 first seating, $150 second seating (both prices include gratuity).
Three-course meal and wine flight. Live music provided by Gordon Lee. 10 NE 28th Ave., 232-3555. 5:30 pm. $30 dinner, $29 wine flight.
Prix fixe menu. 1338 NW Hoyt St., 274-0800. Seatings at 5, 7 and 9 pm. $70, $90 third seating.
Five-course dinner sampling tapas, includes dessert and a glass of cava. Music and dancing follow. 1818 NW 23rd Place, 227-7282. 8 pm. $65.
Three- and four-course meals. 2348 SE Ankeny St., 236-4997. $55 (three-courses), $65 (four-courses).
Five-course dinner with choice of entree. Live music by Voxanova. 220 A Ave., Lake Oswego, 697-3383. 5 pm. $60-$75.
Prix fixe menu includes lobster and prime rib, plus dessert, champagne toast and a balloon drop at midnight. 915 SW 2nd Ave., 750-8959. $55 per individual, $99 per couple.
FAMILY-FRIENDLY, ALL-AGES HAPPENINGS
Cracker and Camper Van Beethoven. 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 233-1994. Doors open at 9 pm. $30, $25 advance.
MOST AA-FRIENDLY COCKTAIL Pink Martini at the Schnitz
The only martini in town for which you won't be legally required to show ID. Pink Martini—Portland's homegrown, internationally famous feel-good band—appears with members of the Harvey Rosencrantz Orchestra, plus special guests Jimmy Scott and the Jazz Expressions and the Lions of Batucada. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 224-4400. 7 and 10:30 pm. $25-$60+ (Ticketmaster).
A six-piece ensemble fuses Balkan music with Cabaret. The evening includes a parade, several count-downs and sparkling cider. Costumes encouraged. Mississippi Pizza Pub, 3552 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3231. 6-9 pm. $10, $5 children.
2006 First Run and Walk for Our Schools
Benefit the Portland Schools Foundation this New Year's. Refreshments, music, dancing and door prizes included with registration. Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th Ave., 234-5404. 10 pm party, midnight run. $15 advance, $20 night of event.
Portland's biggest underage New Year's event. World Trade Center Plaza, 121 SW Salmon St., 234-5404. 10 pm party, midnight run. $20, $15 advance. Ages 16-21.
All club listings are 21-and-over events.
Hott Pink. 1304 SE 8th Ave., 230-9020.
Fire dancers, DJ, dancing, party favors and balloon drop. Private VIP cabanas available. 9 NW 2nd Ave., 241-4343. $20.
MOST ROMANTIC HIDEOUT The Blue Monk
If you've already got a honey, don't blow it by taking him or her to a noisy meat market. Chances are, you'll get more bang for your buck (and more banging, period) if the two go where the lights are low and take in the tunes of Devin Phillips and his jazz band, New Orleans Straight Ahead. 3341 SE Belmont St., 595-0575. 9 pm. $20.
DJ Gregarious hosts Helio Sequence, 31Knots, and Lackthereof ($15, $12 advance). On the restaurant side: DJ Teenage, Koto y Soto and DJ Aquaman ($6). 231 SW Ankeny St., 226-2122. 9:30 pm.
Second anniversary party will benefit Albina Youth Opportunity School. 3958 N Mississippi Ave., 280-7099. 3 pm-2 am. Free.
DJ Synthetic. Witch Wanda Weegee tells fortunes. Balloon drop at midnight. 1412 SE Morrison St., 235-8150. Free.
The Retros. 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 9 pm. $33, $27.50 advance.
Storm and the Balls, Karaoke from Hell. Party favors and champagne toast. 1 SW 3rd Ave., 226-6630 or 224-8499. $13, $10 advance (TicketsWest).
Stripparaoke party featuring KJ Pinky. 5305 SE Foster Rd., 774-4513.
Jujuba, Seoul Bro #1 and guest DJs spinning funk, hip-hop, reggae and dancehall. 2845 SE Stark St., 239-9292. 9 pm. $12.
DJ sets by Beyonda, Sew What and 4 Star. Live sets by Copy and Kittenz. 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 9 pm. $7, $3 before 10 pm.
Jazz, blues and soul singer Linda Hornbuckle. 300 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 9 pm. $25, $20 advance.
BEST PLACE TO BE OLD BEYOND YOUR YEARS McMenamins Kennedy School
For a hearty helping of old-timey music served up deep in the heart of a creepy old elementary school turned hip hotel, check out the Freak Mountain Ramblers (free) and Norman Sylvester and the Boogie Cats ($20). 5736 NE 33rd Ave., 249-3983. 9 pm. $345 overnight packages.
Crackpots. 2958 NE Glisan St., 232-1504. $10.
Mock Crest Tavern
Kinzel and Hyde. 3435 N Lombard St., 283-5014.
Moon and Six Pence
Button accordionist Johnny B. Connolly. 2014 NE 42nd Ave., 288-7802. 9 pm. $3.
New Copper Penny
DJ Bobo, DJ Bounce, DJ Inferno, DJ Paco. Party favors, champagne toast and free buffet. 5932 SE 92nd Ave., 777-1415. 7 pm. $10.
BEST PLACE TO HEAD-BANG Sabala's at Mount Tabor
For punk that's all punch and no pout, hit up Sabala's and hear High on Fire, Fall of the Bastards, Aldebaran and Drink the Bleach perform live. Champagne toast at midnight. 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 238-1646. $10.
White Eagle Cafe, Saloon and Rock 'n' Roll Hotel
Jackstraw. 836 N Russell St., 335-8900. $15.
HIT THE ROAD
Columbia Gorge Hotel
Gala includes four-course dinner featuring filet mignon and lobster tail, dancing to the Bryan Lloyd Band, party favors, grand dessert buffet and champagne toast. 4000 Westcliff Drive, Hood River, (541) 386-5566 or 1-800-345-1921. $119 party, $595 two-night gala package for two.
Justin Hopkins and the Michael Meanwhile Trio (8 pm), Jon Koonce All-Star Rock and Roll Review (9 pm). Exclusive party for some overnight guests, featuring the Ditty Twister and the Jolenes. 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, 669-8610. Free music and dancing, $135-$440 overnight packages. 21+.
McMenamins Grand Lodge
John Bunzow and Bobby Cole (8 pm), Acoustic Minds (9 pm). Exclusive party for some overnight guests, featuring the Brothers Jam. 3505 Pacific Ave., Forest Grove, 992-9533. Free music and dancing, $260-$440 overnight packages. 21+.
McMenamins Hotel Oregon
Justin Carroll (8 pm, free), Richard Day-Reynolds Band (9 pm, $15, free for some overnight guests). 310 NE Evans St., McMinnville, 472-8427. $270-$355 overnight packages. 21+.
The Resort at the Mountain
Bash includes party favors, appetizers, balloon drop and music by Intervision 5. Overnight packages include dinner buffet and party. 68010 East Fairway, Welches (near Mount Hood), 622-2220. $35 dinner buffet, $12 party, $233-$293 overnight packages.
BEST BOAT FOR THE OLDIE FOLKS Sternwheeler Columbia Gorge River Cruise
Party package includes boat ride, heavy hors d'oeuvres buffet, a drink, champagne toast, party favors, music, dancing and a fireworks display. Departs from Marine Park, 355 SW Wanapa St., Cascade Locks, 1-800-643-1354. 9 pm-12:30 am. $125, $200 per couple.
Casino gear, karaoke and DJ systems, and other party-making devices. Hire a comedic hypnotist for the evening for only $2,400. Wild Bill's Interactive Events, 2318 NW Vaughn St., 224-0134. Prices vary.
Clowns, magicians, balloonists, bouncy rides and obstacle courses available for hire. Clowns Unlimited, 381-4462. Hourly rates start at $95 for private parties.
Male and female strippers available for hire. Females available individually or in twosomes. HOT. 914-6318, www.portlandstrippers101.com. $110 and up.
Fog and smoke machines, confetti cannons, disco balls and strobe lights. Hollywood Lights Inc., 5251 SE McLoughlin Blvd., 232-9001. Fog machines start at $45 per day, strobe lights $2.50 and up.
FISHIEST WAY TO DEVOUR THE NEW YEAR Sushi Conveyor Belt
What better way to welcome the New Year than with a moving fish feast? Sushi Land Marinepolis' chefs will bring their belt to your abode, assemble it on-site and serve your guests for two fish-filled hours so you can get back to throwing confetti. Call 297-1575 to book. Book at least one week ahead. Check out www.sushilandusa.com for more info. $500 minimum.
Frozen-beverage machine rentals. They deliver the machines and take care of setup and cleanup. Chillin' Party Machines, 349-0660. $139 for 24-hour machine rental, $15.95 mixers.
BEST WAY TO STAY ALIVE AND KICKIN' IN 2006 TRIMET
All bus rides are free on New Year's Eve after 6 pm! Plus, Blue-line MAX trains and the following 11 bus lines will run 'til 3 am: 4-Fessenden, 5-Interstate, 8-NE 15th Ave., 9-Powell, 12-Barbur Blvd., 14-Hawthorne, 15-NW 23rd Ave., 15-Belmont, 33-McLoughlin, 40-Tacoma and 54-Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway. Call 238-7433 for more information, or visit www.trimet.org.
BEYOND BUBBLY BASICS
Take Champagne to a new level.
Champagne is to New Year's what turkey is to Thanksgiving—a classic. But if the thought of sipping this bubbly standard smacks of last year's bash, we've got the answer: Dress it up or serve a better bottle...on the cheap:
How to make champagne sparkle a little brighter? Imbibe's Michael Valponi recommends mixing up a drink he calls the French 75 (WW has also heard it called a Black Velvet). That's three parts champagne to one part Guinness. Italian house Bluehour's sleek drink, Le Grenadier, mixes champagne with trendy pomegranate juice and orange vodka. At the martini haven Bartini, the staff makes their French Kiss Martini by adding puréed strawberries and vodka to the bubbly. Jen-wood Chen at Touché makes up a Touché Bellini—that's half champagne, half infused, roasted peach vodka, with lemon juice and a splash of simple syrup. (If you haven't tried one, the traditional Bellini—a spoonful of peach purée stirred into a glass of champagne—is elegant and delicious.) And Mint/820 owner Lucy Brennan, Portland's queen of cocktails, passed along a recipe from her upcoming book, Hip Sips. To create her Passion Fruit Twirl, Brennan couples an ounce and a half of vodka with an ounce of champagne and adds fresh lemon-lime juice, simple syrup, a splash of cranberry juice and two tablespoons of passion fruit purée.
Of course, the basis of these recipes, champagne itself, ain't no bargain. Can you really nab decent bubbly for under 10 bucks? "Not if you want to serve it to people you actually like," says Richard Johnson, one of the wine-department know-it-alls at the West Burnside Fred Meyer (100 NW 20th Place, 273-2004). Remember, kids, true champagnes must come from the Champagne region of northeastern France, but for those on a budget, bubbly from other exotic places like California is sometimes a better scene. Johnson named the Spanish Segura Viudas ($6.99, Fred Meyer) as the best of the cheapest. Beth Boston, owner of Everyday Wine (1520 NE Alberta St., 331-7119) called Domaine de Martinolles Blanquette de Limoux Brut ($12) "outstanding." Still thirsty? (JOANNA CANTOR)
MORE SPARKLERS UNDER $20
Toffoli Vincenzo Prosecco Fizzante di Conegliano, Italy ($12, Every Day)
Gruet Brut, New Mexico ($13.99, Freddie's)
Mont-Marcal Cava Brut Reserva 2001, Spain ($14, Every Day)
Lucien Albrecht Cremant d'Alsace Brut NV, France ($14.99, Freddie's)
Gruet Blanc de Noirs, New Mexico ($16, Every Day)
Scharffenberger Cellars Brut NV, California ($18, Every Day)
Seven Rules for Crashing the Bash
Whereas most siblings compete for their parents' attention, my sister and I compete to see who can sneak into the most private events. WW asked my secrets after watching us get past a 100-person line, a 300-pound doorman named Tito, and a guest list into one of New York City's hottest new clubs. For your New Year's Eve shenanigans, we're proud to present our crash course in party crashing:
1. Wear nonchalant confidence like a fine cologne. You own this party. Don't be a prick, but do be innocently entitled.
2. Keep it simple. The easiest entrance is the front door. Pick a moment when security's distracted and walk straight in. If you're watched, pretend you're returning from stepping out, strike up conversation with the nearest person—"what darling shoes!"—and continue through without ado.
3. Always crash alone, unless your companion is (a) already on the guest list, or (b) a really hot chick. Guest-list friend can help by saying you're his guest, by distracting security while you walk past, by locating and opening alternative entrances, or by smuggling you another friend's wristband (as a sly guest-lister did for me during a recent, super-exclusive Wieden & Kennedy holiday bash at Doug Fir). Distractingly pretty girl, preferably with smarts, can talk anybody past Joe Security, particularly if she plays dumb and available. My sister got me through the above monster line and past the gorilla guard simply by batting her eyes and saying we got separated.
4. Don't stand out, unless you do so with don't-fuck-with-me-or-I'll-fuck-you-up fabulousness. Dress like everyone else, only better. Be everyone's new best friend and participate without drawing attention. At least until you've drained the bar.
5. Though cliché, the "I'm with the band" ruse, tailored appropriately, works almost anywhere but rock clubs. Pick a company involved in the party—band, production, catering—and say you do their marketing. I actually work for a band and rarely do more than start to reach into my pocket for a card before being waved through.
6. If all else fails, go the Rick Steves route: through the back door. If stopped, you were simply outside taking a phone call from your pal Rick.
7. Don't let fear stop you. You've nothing to lose but free drinks and morning-after regrets.
Stealth partier and former WW intern Aaron Scott currently does marketing for a local band.
The Morning After
How to make that hangover a champagne memory.
Obviously, the best way to prevent making the first day of '06 a living nightmare is to have some freakin' self control when it comes to partying it up on NYE, but isn't that the same kind of empty advice as pushing abstinence as birth control? So, Mr. and Miss Drunksypants, I've done you the favor of taking my career as a professional drunk seriously so you, too, can share in these tried-and-true cures for alcy-induced pains. (AMY MCCULLOUGH)
NEW FANGLED MIRACLE CURES
Sobr'K Hangover Remedy ($1 for a one-use six-pack): Much like Chaser, brand new Sobr'K is primarily made up of activated carbon. You take two pills before drinking, two mid-binge, and two before bed (or passing out), which may seem a little too complicated for some. Luckily, Sobr'K's convenient six-pill mini-packs make preventing hangovers oh so easy. My experience? This stuff didn't make me a better dancer after the better part of a fifth of Maker's Mark, but it sure did help with that usual headache/nausea thing. Fun science fact: Activated charcoal is used to treat ingestion of poisons (alcohol is, indeed, a poison) because it binds to the nasties and expels them from your body.
Cheerz (about $4 for an eight-tablet pack): I can't really recommend this stuff, because it's too gross to try. But, if you're feeling brave, drop a "shot" of "Lime Peelerz" Cheerz into your drink (or mouth) every two to three drinks for the promise of a clear-headed morning. This liquid anti-hangover supplement supposedly affects how your body metabolizes alcohol, but it might trigger some nausea itself. Ewww.
Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief (about $4 for 24 tabs): This bubbly, citrus-flavored treat is perfect for when you actually have to do something (like work) while you're hung over. Its mix of aspirin and caffeine kicks your pain in the ass and throws in an energy boost for good measure. Plus, those little fizzies are nice to your tummy.
Ginger If you're a real barf bag after a night of boozing, fresh ginger might just be the cure for you (try it blended into some orange juice). It promotes circulation in your gastro-related parts, making it useful against nausea and motion sickness. Even sailors use it!
Bananas Potassium, baby. Bananas help balance a body's fluids.
Grease A big, greasy breakfast is oh so soothing after a night of drinking (and might help you go back to sleep once you're full). Too sick to leave the house? A fried-egg sandwich will do the trick just as well.
Hair of the Dog Sometimes it's best just to keep on truckin'. The Space Room (4800 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 235-8303) mixes a dyn-o-mite Bloody Mary and it's oh so open on New Year's Day.
Excedrin Migraine This combo of acetaminophen, aspirin and caffeine is designed get rid of headaches, sensitivity to light and sound, and nausea. Who knew migraine sufferers and drunks had so much in common!
Vitamins, specifically B Alcohol impairs your body's ability to absorb all sorts of beneficial vitamins, especially B vitamins. Replenishing what's missing is just plain logical.
THE REAL MIRACLE CURE
HYDRATION (duh!) If you play, you pay, and there's often a pretty steep price for pouring booze down your throat. Hydration is the most important part of battling a hangover. Some say rehydrating sports drinks like Gatorade are even better than good ol' H2O because they replenish sodium and potassium, as well. Drink up, Portland!
See www.hungover.net for more hangover-curing combos from orange juice and sex to Gatorade and Dramamine.