What Shall Be Done with the Thieves of Bicycles?

Thieves of bicycles: indeed, they are a scourge upon our fair metropolis.

Ask any woman or man who cycles in this city and they shall tell you a tale of some terrible thing that befell them or one of their acquaintances as a result of these rogues, who threaten our livelihoods, health and convenience by exploiting the ease by which a bicycle can be absconded with.

This is well known to us, and has been for quite a many years. In fact, an old-timey Oregonian article unearthed by some clever troll person on the Reddit board shows us that at one point these thieves of bicycles were dealt with much more harshly than they are currently.

The first man the Oregonian has record of attempting to steal a bicycle was shot with a rifle.

Justice served? I'm generally quite opposed to the police shooting persons when there are any other options, and certainly this country has far too many police officers who fire upon unarmed persons without taking proper stock of the situation. However, I also doubt this man, a thief of bicycles, was much mourned...

Alas, he was not "badly hurt."

Shot with a rifle: May Charles Moen rot in hell.

But alack! Such a nonfatal shot was not enough to deter the thieves of bicycles—or, wheels, as they were known.

The May 12, 1899, edition of The Daily Oregonian (as we now call it, to distinguish to it from the present day) contained ominous warnings of bicycle theft's increase.

We neither condone nor endorse the tacit call for the lynching of bicycle thieves contained within this Daily Oregonian article, though we confess our hidden sympathies.

It seems the thieves, suspected of being hobos, had taken to selling the stolen wheels at low cost. Police apprehended thieves, for the most part, using the Craigslist of their day: an ear to the ground when "good deals" are being "noised around."

The perils of city life remain grim, dear Portland. 

WWeek 2015