We are Entering World of Pain: Uber and CBC

Portland is not getting Uber in time for the most important week of drunken tourism in its history.

At least that's the word from last night's City Council meeting, where the five people who make laws in this city tabled a deal that would have finally allowed the rideshare company into a city with a desperate taxi situation where there are far too few cabs on the streets, and where, if you do finally land a cab, a driver from one of the largest companies might just leave you standing on the side of the freeway if they have a problem with your sexuality.

I do not cover City Council for this newspaper. And, aside from when they waste $11.2 million building an opulent palace for the 38 people who draw the blueprints for our sewers, I do not take much of an interest in the minor machinations of our council.

Which is to say that, like most people I talk to in Portland, I find our current council unlikeable but relatively benign.

But they done fucked up now.

I'm not sure if anyone at City Hall heard, but next week Portland hosts the Craft Brewers Conference. This is the South By Southwest of beer and will bring every important person in the American craft beer industry to town. That guy from the Sam Adams commercials? Yeah, him. The dude from Dogfish Head who had a TV show? Him too. In total, there will be about 11,000 people, total, many of them drunk and eager to spend their money on giant hamburgers and lap dances.

When CBC attendees get off their plane, open their Uber app and see that the nearest rides are in the suburbs, they are going to be confused and angry. They will have legitimate questions about the attitudes of people in the place they have landed, which has apparently decided to reject progress in favor of loud and entrenched special interests.

Portland really shouldn't even be hosting this event. Our city is far, far smaller than other recent host cities, which include Chicago, D.C., San Diego and San Francisco. These are large cities, with far more people and larger, better convention centers and enough hotel rooms to host the NBA All-Star game.

Moreover, we don't really have the sort of attractions conventioneers are accustomed to. Think about it this way: when the CBC was in San Diego, the opening party took place at their world famous zoo. Do you know where Portland is holding its opening party? At the Memorial Coliseum, a crappy old minor leaguer hockey arena. There, we will try to impress people who previously got to drunkenly gawk at panda bears with 1,800 Voodoo doughnuts and 21,000 oysters.

Sure, Portland has a lot to offer. And, hopefully, these visitors will get out to see we're the best city in the country for coffee, strip clubs and bistro burgers.

Except they won't be able to get anywhere. Because we have an inadequate number of taxis. Because people from other American cities are either skeptical of public transit or can't imagine waiting 15 minutes for a MAX train. And because City Council just went back on its previous plan and delayed Uber.

Portland is a great place to live. Among the things that makes it great are our robust civic engagement and commitment to the public process. There are plenty of good questions to ask about Uber, despite the fact that most other major cities have it.

But this is a really, really unfortunate development.

Oh well. I'll now leave these serious issues to the news reporters and politicians so I can enjoy Portland's first and last Craft Brewers Conference.

Here are some events you can attend if you like beer and have a way to get around town.

WWeek 2015