Portland likes to think of itself as a city that's exceedingly comfortable with public nudity.
We're the strip club capitol of the West Coast, of course. We put our bare bums on bike seats en masse every year, and pull our pants down to ride the MAX.
But those are group events, promoted months ahead of time. When you catch a rogue wang dangling out-of-season, even if it's mostly minding its own business, it can still be a bit jarring.
Just ask local rapper Mic Capes, who came across this scene driving down North Lombard yesterday:
REAL TIME. Bruh casually joggin butt naked down Lombard 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/51g903BWkL
— 🥶COLD BLOODED CAPES. (@MicCapes_Music) March 2, 2019
At first, it looks like this guy might've gotten caught in some sort of cuckolding scenario, where he had to quickly escape out a back door and leave his clothes behind. But closer inspection reveals running shoes on his feet. So unless dude was really prepared to make a mid-coital dash if called for, it looks just like what Capes describes—a guy just taking a casual naked jog around the block on a crisp 40-degree day.
It raises many, many questions, but the only one we're prepared to discuss right now is the most obvious: Is this legal?
The legality of letting it all hang out on the streets of Portland came up last week, when a Canadian media company published a travel piece asserting—among other questionable things—that public nudity is allowed year-round here.
The actual law is…a bit complicated. According to WW's own Dr. Know, while Oregon says public nudity is legal "as long as you don't do it with the intent to cause arousal in others," Portland still enforces indecent exposure laws, which aren't so forgiving. However, past precedent established that you can get naked on the street if it's in service of a political message—hence the World Naked Bike Ride, which started as a way to promote both bike safety and body positivity.
So unless this bro was jogging to save the whales or something, it appears that he could've gotten in some trouble if he'd bounced past a cop—and those interactions haven't gone particularly well for runners in other parts of the country.
Are you the North Portland naked jogger? If so, we'd love to hear from you. Please reach out to artseditor@wweek.com. We've got so many questions for you. So. Many. Questions.