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It’s hot out there, and I’m not just talking ‘bout the temperature.
We’re slogging our way through yet another bummer summer fraught with anxiety, sleeplessness, depression and rage. If a heat dome doesn’t cook us from the outside in, those other things will certainly cook us from the inside out, so finding balance is pretty critical if you plan on living long enough to aid and abet an abortion seeker or sponsor an offshore medical refuge.
Besides, discovering sources of happiness, despite the fact that our nation is being run into the ground, is itself a radical form of protest. If there ever were a summer to turn off your phone, get stoned, and eat fruit while floating in an alpine lake, it’s this one. Here are a few super-euphoric strains to get you started:
24k Gold
Also known as Kosher Tangie since it’s made by crossing Kosher Kush and Tangie, this hybrid strain has potent indica genetics, but delivers balanced head and body highs. Though effervescent at its outset, smokers typically dissolve into an easy relaxation, making it a favorite variety with patients suffering from chronic pain, depression, fatigue and bipolar disorder. And since the wealth divide in this country continues to get even worse, being behind the eight ball while smoking a strain named after gold feels appropriately dystopian. Expect a bright citrus-skunk perfume and a lemony exhale with candy top notes.
BUY: Green Front Dispensary, 6834 NE Glisan St., 503-252-0036, thegreenfront.org.
Orange Ghost
This balanced hybrid is a cross of Ghost OG and Orange Juice, and delivers potent, long-lasting effects, including mild euphoria, crystal-clear creativity, and focused energy. Users across the board cite it as an effective treatment for depression and stress and, in several cases, even chronic migraines. Which is to say, if there was ever a strain suited to enjoying brief moments of summer bliss despite our current reality, it’s probably Orange Ghost. Expect a spicy-sweet flavor and an ultra-herbal aroma.
BUY: Rose Budz PDX, 2410 N Mississippi Ave., 503-208-3955, rosebudzpdx.com.
Thunderbird Rose
Lower-tolerance cannathusiasts would enjoy Thunderbird Rose, a cross of Blue Dream and OG Kush that delivers a spacey yet grounded high that’s perfect for daytime or even workday (depending on your job) use. Therapeutically, this cultivar has a solid reputation for curbing mood swings and depression. If wake-and-bake strains are what you’re looking for, Thunderbird Rose might be your ultimate go-to. Expect a gassy, sweet lemony exhale.
BUY: Plane Jane’s Dispensary, 10530 NE Simpson St., 971-255-0999.
Mt. Hood Magic
Mt. Hood Magic is a heavy-hitting hybrid that delivers a potent body buzz and a thick, cottony head high. This cross of Northern Lights #5 and Durban Poison is incredibly relaxing for most, though there are some who find it to be pure adventure fuel, so consume with caution and a clear plan to either melt or explode into action. We recommend a wildflower hike or lake float on its namesake peak to unlock the strain’s full magic potential. Expect a pungent, sweet yet tart nose and a lemony exhale.
BUY: Five Zero Trees, 5336 SW Beaverton Hillsdale Highway, 971-544-7828, fivezerotrees.com.
White 99
This cross of Cinderella 99 and The White is a perky, uplifting daytime strain for a large swath of users, but can also cause anxiety and paranoia for some. Reported effects include increased focus, sparkling creativity, and a lasting, elastic body high that is both soothing and invigorating. Pro tip: Sip flower from a one-hitter pipe rather than a full spoon or bowl in order to feel out the effects without committing to a big, breathtaking high right off the bat. Expect a sour, earthy perfume and a piney exhale.
BUY: Lucky Lion Dispensary, 16148 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-946-1807, luckylionpdx.com.