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Teenage Dick
A power-hungry man threatening to overthrow anyone in his way is bad enough. Now imagine that obnoxious asshole as a teenager. This modern, comedic retelling of Shakespeare's Richard III focuses on a 17-year-old scheming to become senior class president while trying to steal the heart of the most popular girl in the school. As with the original, it's a story that debates whether it's better to be loved or feared—truly a pertinent question for our times. Welcome to the adolescence of our discontent. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., artistsrep.org. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday, 2 and 7:30 pm Sunday, through Feb. 3. Added shows noon Wednesday, Jan. 23, and 2 pm Saturday, Feb. 2. $30-$60.
How to Get Rid of a President
If you're reading this newspaper, you live in Portland, which means your feelings about the current political situation probably fall somewhere on the spectrum between "annoyed" and "morally repulsed." In How to Get Rid of a President, author David Priess explores the many ways presidents have been removed from office, ranging from impeachment to a certain word that starts with "a" and rhymes with "fascination." Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., powells.com. 7:30 pm. Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., powells.com. 7:30 pm Wednesday, Jan. 9.
Bert Kreischer: The Body Shots Tour
With a reputation as the perpetual party boy who inspired the movie Van Wilder, Bert Kreischer is proving you can take those misadventures into middle age with a tour that's already sold out in several cities. Though the jokes now offer some insight into life as a parent, they remain just as cringe-worthy as his standup was when he was named the top partier at the Number One Party School in the nation by Rolling Stone 20 years ago. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., revolutionhall.com. 7 and 10 pm Thursday, Jan. 10. Sold out.
Hogwarts Queer Homecoming
Get ready to boogie with Snape and twerk with Lord Voldy at this queer Harry Potter-themed dance party. Don't forget to consult the sorting hat before you arrive and come dressed in robes lined with the color of your house, because the house with the most attendees will win a donation to the nonprofit of their choice. It's no Goblet of Fire prize, but it'll do. Crush Bar, 1400 SE Morrison St., crushbar.com. 7 pm Friday, Jan. 11. $10-$15. 21+.
Sebastian Maniscalco Stay Hungry Tour
The name of this comedian's latest tour illustrates his work ethic and verve. Sebastian Maniscalco had one hell of a good year, selling out a record-breaking five nights at Radio City Music Hall, releasing a new book and acting in Martin Scorsese's upcoming film, The Irishman. His standup is a combination of Jerry Seinfeld observation and Jim Carrey physicality. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, portland5.com. 7 pm Friday, Jan. 11. $39.75-$59.75.
Girl Boner: The Good Girl's Guide to Sexual Empowerment
For years, August McLaughlin has been offering advice on sexual health through her Girl Boner blog and podcast. She offers some of her most crucial writing in her new book, Girl Boner: The Good Girl's Guide to Sexual Empowerment. Within its pages she explores everything from masturbation to journaling, all with the goal of female pleasure and empowerment. She'll be speaking tonight with sex educator Mona Darling. Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., powells.com. 7:30 pm Friday, Jan. 11.
GirlFest
For five years, the annual GirlFest has worked to shift the focus of Portland's music scene through lineups of femme-led talent. As usual, this year's bill comprises powerhouse up-and-comers and spans just about every genre, from the glam punk of Dirty Princess to the sentimental lo-fi anthems of Cry Babe and the lyrical rap of KayelaJ. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., holocene.org. 8 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. All ages.
Portland Metro Reptile Expo
Snakes, lizards and dragons—oh, shit! At the largest reptile expo in the Northwest—the only captive-bred reptile show in America, it claims—you will have the chance to visit with, learn about and feed all your favorite scaly creatures. And if you really fall in love, you can take home a rescue reptile. Yes, that's a real thing. Holiday Inn Portland Airport, 8439 NE Columbia Blvd., nwreptileexpos.com. 10 am-5 pm Saturday, Jan 12. $5-$10.
Portland Truffle Foray & Wine Dinner
There's hidden treasure in Pacific Northwest soil, but it takes some skill or a good sniffer to find it. Cascadia Truffles and the Big Foody PDX are hosting a dog-led foraging experience at Angela Estate in Dundee. Once you've finished your dig among the Doug firs, it's back to Portland for a multicourse truffle dinner with wine pairings. The Big Foody PDX, 4207 SE Woodstock Blvd., thebigfoody.com.
1 pm Saturday, Jan. 12. $269.
Elton John
After a five-decade career that made him one of the most successful hitmakers of all time and an almost universally beloved cultural icon, Elton John has announced this tour will be his last. The Portland stop on the legendary performer's farewell tour sold out in minutes, but whatever effort you put into scalping tickets will probably be worth it—there will definitely be a tear-jerking performance of "Candle in the Wind," and probably an outfit with so many sequins it might blind you if you're not careful. Moda Center, 1 N Center Court St., rosequarter.com. 8 pm Saturday, Jan. 12. Sold out.
Nao
In 2016, Nao put her self-described "wonky funk" on the map with "Bad Blood," the dreamy first single off her debut album. On Saturn, Nao's recently released sophomore album, the London singer has perfected her blend of soul and electronica, and thrown in some contemplative lyrics about growing up. Because if you're going to get in your feelings about getting older, you should at least be able to dance while you do it. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., wonderballroom.com. 8 pm Monday, Jan. 14. $30 advance, $35 day of show. All ages.