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Once you leave college or turn 24 (whichever happens last), your lifestyle inevitably changes. For example, you no longer judge beer on how quickly it goes down your throat or weed on the fact that the guy down the hall had some and is now sharing it with you.
Your tastes evolve. Before you know it, you’re drinking craft beer and smoking only locally grown strains you’ve researched extensively. You call it “cannabis” now. But look, just because you’ve grown up a little doesn’t mean you don’t want to occasionally get fucked up like a frat boy. Now, you just want to do it in a classy way.
Enter: the Knockout bong.
The Knockout bong—an export from the magical land of Canada, probably somehow related to socialized medicine—is a metal and silicone contraption that turns any beer and a little bit of weed into what the company calls a “beer gravity pipe.” Basically, it’s two metal pipes held together by a silicone connector and a mouthpiece (see diagram). You can use it for other beer- and weed-related activities, but the best possible use is chugging an entire beer and then taking the hit created by your chugging.
It’s compact and comes in a cute little bag. It’s much less work than assembling a beer bong, and has none of the horrid bong-water issues you suffered through when your roommate was a white guy with dreds who said “Jah” all the time.
The question, of course, is does it work? To get some answers, we tried our Knockout in the parking lot of WW’s offices, in case of any beer-chugging-related incidents.
As if the design and homeland of the Knockout didn’t class up the experience of getting wasted in a parking lot enough, we decided to properly pair our cannabis and carbonated alcohol. Our resident weed experts, Carlos Swan and Tyler Hurst, picked Sour Tangie as the strain, BridgePort’s Candy Peel IPA, and Bushwhacker Forgotten Trail and Square Mile Hopped ciders for the gluten-intolerant among us.
“The terpenes that give Sour Tangie its flavor are also found in hops,” Hurst says. “So I chose semisweet craft ciders with hops or blends I thought would be good with citrus and hops.”
Swain picked the Candy Peel IPA for the same reason.
The result was a surprisingly delightful drink-chugging, hit-taking experience.
“It tasted a lot better than just smoking pot,” says Xel Moore, a WW graphic designer who bravely took the Knockout challenge.
Swain and Hurst also found the chugging of nice beer and the taste of the weed a surprisingly pleasant experience.
The only person who had any issues with the Knockout was this reporter, who was unable to chug her cider and ended up spitting it all over the parking lot, losing a drink and ruining some very nice weed.
Luckily for you, there’s a video of the whole thing. See the Knockout in action and decide for yourself if you’re ready to do a beer-and-weed bong like an adult.
Willamette Week