The Most Important Portland Culture News of the Week, From Best to Worst

Freaks Going East

Portland's freakiest faux-museum is on the move. The Peculiarium relocates in early 2020 to a 6,000-square-foot space at 640 SE Stark St.—much bigger than its current cubbyhole on Northwest Thurman Street. A satirical take on kitschy odditoriums like Ripley's Believe It Or Not!, the business has been pranking locals and tourists alike since 2011. The move allows owners Mike Wellins and Lisa Freeman to try out some ideas they didn't have room for previously. And yes, the giant stuffed Sasquatch will come along. Word has it his twin might finally come out of hiding, too.

Travel Portland

One of Portland's more out-there MCs has gone viral locally with an ode to public transit. On "Bus Max Walk (My BMW)," local rapper Slick Devious shouts out his favorite TriMet routes over a smooth beat by producer Trox. The video enhances the mood, with a grainy aesthetic resembling a '90s infomercial and featuring Devious dancing in buses and gazing out the windows of MAX trains. The track, from the rapper's new album, Casual Anger, has been praised by such local luminaries as comedian Ian Karmel and mayoral candidate Sarah Iannarone, who tweeted, "I'm never referring to riding transit as anything other than going by BMW ever again."

Trail Blazers face the Oklahoma City Thunder on November 27, 2019 at the Moda Center. Bruce Ely / Trail Blazers

Stay Melo

Is it safe to call Carmelo Anthony's run with the Blazers the most successful revival since Twin Peaks? The NBA made the resurgence official by naming Anthony the Western Conference Player of the Week for his role in resuscitating the team's playoff hopes. Of course, that hasn't stopped the haters from hating, pointing out that several other players had much more impressive weeks stat-wise. Whatever, though. They just better have some Xanax on hand for when Melo gets voted onto the All-Star team.

Get Baked

A Portland public schoolteacher is about to show the world how well she can create a holiday-themed diorama out of baked goods. That's presumably one of the challenges Marissa Troeschel will face as a contestant on ABC's The Great American Baking Show. The Kelly Elementary School drama instructor made it onto Season 5 of the American version of reality TV's most cordial food competition series, The Great British Bake Off. The eight-episode contest airs at 9 pm every Thursday, beginning Dec. 12.

Bambi and Cooper on their first night in North Portland. (Courtesy of the Belmont Goats.)

GoatFundMe

The Belmont Goats need help. The nonprofit has launched a GoFundMe to cover medical expenses and hay for its famous urban herd. It hopes to raise $10,000 to cover a "number of health-related things" that have come up with the goats over the past year and an increase in hay prices.

Closing Time

Pearl Bakery, one of the city's most beloved purveyors of croissants, panini and loaves of bread, is closing shop this month. The bakery, which opened in 1997, quietly scrubbed all content from its website last week, leaving only a statement by company president Jared Lester: "Although my family and I do not embrace 'quitting,' we recognize that moving forward will not be sustainable for the bakery." The business makes its final deliveries Tuesday, Dec. 10.