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In the fast-paced world of modern dating, where algorithms and swipes dominate, some Portlanders are turning back to a centuries-old tradition: matchmaking.
There are at least five matchmakers in the Portland area—including Jacqueline Nichols, founder of Discover Love Matches, and Autum Bird, aka Autum the Matchmaker, both of whom offer an alternative for singles exhausted by swipe life.
Matchmaking is not just about setting two people up on a blind date, say these practitioners; it’s also a meticulous process of sleuthing who could be compatible, based on their lifestyle, hobbies and availability.
“Matchmaking offers a human touch, going beyond algorithms to create personal connections,” Nichols tells WW. Translation: Once you’ve signed up, prepare to be vetted like a presidential cabinet nominee before you even make it to a date.
Obviously, matchmaking in Portland circa 2023 doesn’t resemble Fiddler on the Roof. (There’s considerably less singing involved.) To help you understand the process, we humbly present WW’s guide to modern matchmaking, with all the highs and hurdles it entails.
How Does Matchmaking Work?
Not all matchmakers are the same. At Discover Love Matches, based in Lake Oswego, the service starts with a 30-minute virtual consultation for women and a 60-minute one for men, allowing Nichols to confirm the identity of potential members (men, Nichols says, require a longer session so she can get “a clearer picture of their desires”).
Nichols asks clients questions to find out what prompted them to seek a more proactive approach to dating and about their intentions. (Are they’re seeking a serious relationship, for instance, or simply looking to expand their social circle?)
Before entering professional matchmaking, Nichols worked as a spiritual guide, independent of any church or organization, which often meant fielding requests for insights into how to find a soulmate. But today her work combines spirituality with strategy.
“My primary focus is connecting the right ladies with my gentlemen,” Nichols says. “Women appreciate the experience of being selected.” To that end, she has female clients sign up for a database, then matches them with male clients. (Discover Love also serves LGBTQ+ clients.)
Bird’s approach, meanwhile, involves a questionnaire about occupation and interests, followed by blind dates, often at an ice cream or coffee shop. First dates last 30 to 45 minutes, and the exchanging of phone numbers is verboten.
“This allows the participants to feel at ease and not pressured,” Bird says. “It’s the perfect amount of time to know if they want to get to know each other further.”
What Does Matchmaking Cost?
It can be very expensive or fairly cheap. At Discover Love Matches, the initial consultation fee alone is $375 for women and $400 for men. (After the first payment, clients remain in the database for six months.) Bird, on the other hand, charges a $25 signup fee and $7 per date.
OK, but Does It Get Results?
We asked Traci Strong, who sought out Bird in 2022 as she searched for a more “traditional” relationship.
“I had been in the dating scene off and on since 2016, and I was rather burned out on the whole thing,” Strong says. “Matchmaking was a way for me to be much more hands-off about it while still obtaining dates.”
The first date Bird arranged for Strong was enjoyable, but Strong and the match shared few common interests. The second date was awkward; the third showed promise. By that time, however, Strong was embarking on a romance outside the confines of matchmaking.
Still, Strong appreciates the structure matchmaking imposes. “With matchmaking, so much of work is removed,” she says. “I don’t have to try and carry the conversation via an app with dozens of men who seem to be incapable of communicating.”
Jacqueline Nichols’ Tips for Finding the Right Matchmaker
1. Ensure the matchmaker is directly involved, rather than relying solely on a sales team.
2. Make sure the matchmaker lives in your city.
3. Check if dating coaching services are included.