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If Portland were to have a reality dating show (Love is Blind Season 4 doesn’t count), Queer Bachelorx could be the inspiration for the pitch. The queer-centric experimental dating event launched this summer at Either/Or in Northeast Portland. Only two months after the first, founding hosts Taylor Feldman, 34, and Santi, 28, will present a second Queer Bachelorx, this time at Victoria Bar, on Sept. 28.
Millennials (loosely-defined) can nominate their single bachelorx pals via a Google Form. If their nominee is selected, they will then attend the event to give an approximately five-minute-long presentation on their candidate to a room full of eligible suitors.
“I have a friend I knew had been looking for love, and I saw an L.A. event that was similar to what we tried to do, which is friends pitching friends to a group of strangers via PowerPoint,” Feldman says. “And I sent it to him and was like ‘You know if this was in Portland I would pitch the shit out of you.’ Santi was with me and was like, ‘We could just do that.’”
Attendees make name tags and then choose from a selection of differently colored and shaped stickers to add that indicate the wearer’s relationship preferences. In addition to the name tags and stickers, there are “roses.” These are small slips of paper that relay the love interests, pronouns, contact information, age, relationship preferences and other relevant information of suitors.
“The roses gave just enough structure for people,” Feldman says. “You have this piece of paper in your hand that you pre-wrote all of your information on and you can hand it off and then just have a conversation.
Feldman and Santi were surprised by the sheer success of the inaugural event. Requests to make what was supposed to be a one-off experience into a monthly occurrence poured in, and they realized that they had unknowingly addressed a huge need in the community.
“When you’re in that weird, almost media loop of online dating, it feels like there’s not that many people out there,” Santi says. “We wanted to provide another option for folks to meet in real life and help people shake off some rust from the pandemic.”
Though unable to include all of the nominees in the first event, for Feldman and Santi, reading over 20 bachelor submissions they received was one of the most rewarding parts of the ordeal. They received funny and goofy nominations, but most enjoyed reading ones that were touching and sincere.
They were also able to extend their reach beyond their own circle to create an amalgamation of different people—a huge success for any grassroots event. “I wanted this to really bring together different circles for a true mingling experience,” says Santi. “I want folks to look around the room and see cuties they’ve never seen before and go up to say hi.”
Queer Bachelorx’s founders have also drawn inspiration from local organizations, specifically Friend Toast, and appreciate the support they’ve received from venue spaces and community partners, like She Bop, Either Or, Victoria Bar and Marti Clemmons, also known as DJ Soft Shoulder.
Entry fees operate on a sliding scale pay model. At the doors you’ll find tiered guidelines that can help you evaluate your financial privilege, and determine realistically what you should and can pay to attend the event.
“It’s been so amazing to hear [positive] feedback of people like going on dates or just like making friends, all from this event,” Santi says. “My dream would be if we did Queer Bachelorx twice a year—once in the early spring when everyone’s like waking up and then during cuffing season [fall]. This next one is our cuffing season event.”
GO: Queer Bachelorx at Victoria Bar, 4835 N Albina Ave, @queerbachelorxpdx. 7 pm Friday, Sept. 28. Sliding scale. 21+.