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SKATE: OMSI On Ice
Experience the magic that is OMSI On Ice.…Yup, they actually figured out how to put the whole entire museum on ice! No, we’re just kidding. It’s actually a super-cool (no pun intended), indoor synthetic ice rink in OMSI’s auditorium-turned-winter wonderland. Admission includes free skate rentals, a 30-minute time slot on the rink, and all the joys of ice skating while comfortably indoors. Plus, when you’re done Michelle Kwan-ing out, you can check out all the rare, preserved creepy crawlies on display at Christopher Marley’s newest exhibit, Exquisite Creatures Revealed. OMSI, 1945 SE Water Ave., omsi.edu. 9:30 am–5:30 pm Monday–Friday and Sunday, 9:30 am–7 pm Saturday, through Jan. 1. $7–$9.
GO: White Album Xmas
You may think you know the Beatles’ White Album, but we can (almost) guarantee you’ve never experienced it like this…(unless, of course, you’ve seen this show before; in which case, ignore us). Anyways…imagine you’re listening to the White Album, but instead of your airpods, the music is coming live from The NowHere Band, a full 15-piece Beatles orchestra. Oh, and for some reason, jugglers, aerialists, clowns and acrobats of the Rose City Circus are practicing their various feats all around you as you listen. That’s White Album Xmas, and we’re so here for it. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., albertarosetheatre.com. 8 pm Wednesday–Saturday, Dec.4–7; 4 pm Sunday Dec. 8; 8 pm Wednesday–Saturday, Dec. 11–14. $45–$70.
SEE: Christmas Ship Parade
Christmas ships launch in—well, you can find the official, to-the-minute countdown online, along with an Army recruitment-style internet pop-up of Santa Claus pointing through the screen that reads “WE WANT YOU! AS A CHRISTMAS SHIP CAPTAIN”—but, they’re about to set sail! The decadeslong Christmas tradition returns tomorrow night for its 70th year at sea (or river). This year, a fleet of around 60 different festively decorated sailboats and yachts parade down the waterfront, hosting brightly lit passengers such as the (inflatable) Grinch, a fishing Santa, and a very large fish (some might call it a whale) outta water. Willamette and Columbia rivers, christmasships.org. Various times Thursday, Dec. 5–Sunday, Dec. 22. Free.
GO: PNCA Makers Market
There are so many talented young creatives here in Portland…and it seems like a whole lot of ’em either came from, or are currently studying at, the Pacific Northwest College of Art. PNCA students are doing crafty, amazing things year-round, but around Christmas time, they come out in full force, like crafty little Christmas elves helping out slightly less crafty Portlanders in the handmade gift department. PNCA’s holiday art sale provides students with an opportunity to showcase and sell their artwork—crochet, ceramics, fine art and more—to the local community. Plus, student artists earn 100% of the profits. Pacific Northwest College of Art, 511 NW Broadway, travelportland.com/event/48149954160131. 5–9 pm Thursday–Friday, 10 am–5 pm Saturday, Dec. 5–7. Free.
SEE: Love Actually in Concert
If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that Love Actually is...in concert at the Schnitz this weekend. Whether you deem Love Actually heartwarming, or somewhat controversial—WW film critics actually had a “Great Love Actually Debate” in 2022 discussing this very issue—it is, undoubtedly, a Christmas classic. Experience the film’s beautiful score performed live by the Oregon Symphony, while an equally (if not more so) beautiful Hugh Grant dances in his prime minister’s office, for some amazing reason. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, portland5.com. 7:30 pm Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, Dec. 7–8. $35+.
GO: ScanFair
Last week, we gave you the 411 on PDX’s German Christmas market. Now, we’re taking y’all with us to Scandinavia (or, erm, the Oregon Convention Center) for ScanFair, a Nordic Christmas market. In celebration of 40 years here in Portland, this year’s ScanFair will feature a 20-foot Viking ship, a gnome scavenger hunt, photo ops with Joulupukki (aka Finnish Santa), live performances by Nordic artists, a kids’ craft area, raffles, pickled herring- and meatball-eating contests, traditional Scandinavian food and drink vendors, and more. Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., nordicnorthwest.org. 10 am–4 pm Saturday–Sunday, Dec. 7–8. Free–$50.
DANCE: Sleaze Pleaze Video Dance Party
If y’all have never been to Swan Dive, Saturday’s Sleaze Pleaze Video Dance Party is the perfect excuse to check it out. On the average night, the vintage craft cocktail bar hosts dance parties and drag brunches, screens black-and-white movies, spins vinyl, and even throws shows in its (very cool) speakeasy-style live music venue upstairs. But on Saturdays from 10 pm to 2 am, it’s an indie sleaze takeover. We’re talking both new and classic 2000s indie music videos streaming on the walls while a sleazy dance party ensues. Oh, and if you’re not really all that into sleaze, they also serve $5 well drinks and $4 Rainiers…so that’s a major plus. Swan Dive, 727 SE Grand Ave., swandiveportland.com. 10 pm–2 am Saturday, Dec. 7. Free.
Got a tip? Email shannon@wweek.com .