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"Come on in," Beth Ditto yells, hopefully to someone else, a few moments into our conversation, "and bring the bananas!"
For this phone chat, she's ensconced herself in a coat room next to the stage at the U Street Music Hall in Washington, D.C., where her soundcheck is about to start, and we've only a short time before the drums begin. On the verge of a national tour supporting her first solo album Fake Sugar—a glossy evocation of the more crowd-pleasing moments from her longtime Portland-based band Gossip—Ditto has agreed to talk with WW about her life and career following a turbulent few years that saw Gossip break apart and Ditto herself become a full-fledged superstar across Europe.
Despite her former group's outsized success across the pond—2006's Standing in the Way of Control went gold in the U.K.; their penultimate album, 2009's Music for Men, was certified double platinum in France—Ditto has never quite conquered the States. But she seems to genuinely relish returning to 500-seat venues after playing stadiums abroad.
"Always be grateful for what you have," she says, her Arkansas-bred Southern drawl undimmed. "To me, this—America—is the reality. Europe is surreality. This is normal. That's the weird part. So, you have to be realistic, but this is going to be great. I can't wait."
Willamette Week: On average, how much of the last few years did you spend in Portland?
Beth Ditto: Oh, well, you know, I travel a lot, but I spend most of my time there. My homes, I would say, are London and Portland, and I split it up—not evenly—between them.
When you were coming up with the new album?
That was over time. It was written in the span of about two years, really. I was still in Gossip, [guitarist] Nathan [Howdeshell] had moved back to Arkansas, and I found myself trying to write songs without him, which I should not have. Because of logistics, it was just hard to be in the same room, so I had been writing. I wanted to be working on something even if we weren't all together. Before you know it, I'd written the new record, but I knew these songs weren't…Gossip songs.
What's the difference between Gossip songs and your solo album?
Honestly? I don't think there's that much. [Laughs] I mean, [Fake Sugar] misses Nathan because Nathan is so special. There's really no one like him in the world. And, it misses [drummer] Hannah [Blilie]. I think, more than anything, making this record shows me how important I was to Gossip. I hadn't really realized how much of a role I played in the songwriting. We'd tell you it's equal parts, but I didn't know how much a part of it I was until I listened back to this record and was, like, "Oh! This sounds like a Gossip record!" And, you know, I was really happy because that's what my life was for so long. There wasn't any big idea to make this different "set me apart from everything else" record. Gossip didn't make me miserable. It just wasn't working out anymore.
Were there any times that you felt constrained by the Gossip?
I don't think people realize how easy it was to be in that band. If there were any tiffs about sounds or whatever, it was never a big deal because we all had such varying tastes. Like, Hannah is obsessed with Mariah Carey but also listens to the Prids and was in a band called Soiled Doves. But, then, we have Nathan who listens to anything and everything. Then you have me, and all I want to listen to is Bobbie Gentry. At the same time, we all had our common place, which was usually punk or new wave or post-punk, so I think it was a really lovely combination. When people are, like, "Oh, so, you're going solo. Do you feel free now?"—I never felt anything but free. It wasn't like that. I just needed to make music, and it wasn't happening. And, I realized I was waiting for Gossip. We definitely take four years between records. Labels hated it, but that's just the way we have always been.
But, I really wanted to do something, and it just felt like people's hearts weren't in it anymore. It felt like Nathan's heart wasn't in it anymore, and I felt like Nathan was the kind of person who would never say that it's time to let go. I felt like I had to be the one to say it. There wasn't, like, drama. We had some hard times when we kicked Kathy Mendonca out of the band. That felt horrible. That felt like a divorce—like cheating on your best friend. That was the biggest drama we had. But, for the most part, it was really, really special. We always got along. It wasn't like other bands, and, mostly, I think it's because Nathan's not like other people, you know? He lives in a pod somewhere. [Laughs] Just this strange, fascinating person.
You'd never hear a song, wish you could do that with Gossip, and then realize it wouldn't be appropriate?
No. We'd make it a Gossip song. When I said I was writing songs without them and it wasn't working because they weren't Gossip songs, that's because Nathan wasn't involved. If I was, like, "I love this song" and we set our minds to it, Nathan would do his best to write a guitar part around it. It'd never end up being like the original song, because we weren't that good of musicians. Hannah was phenomenal, but me and Nathan were at the mercy of our abilities. So, the songs would always just end up being what they were. Even if we did try write a song like another one, you always knew it would never come out that way. Which was fun. It was kinda exciting just waiting to see what would happen.
What was it like going on your own?
When people call it a solo record, I always want to be like, "Well, really, it's a record with my name on it." I did have so much help from a lot of different musicians. I can't play anything, you know? So, of course, there's a lot of talking about direction and talking about references and what I didn't want and what I did want and how I wanted it with the sounds and the effects and all that. But, when it came to down to someone playing, it was just like Nathan, honestly. To me, bouncing ideas for songs was exactly the same. I can't even explain it to you. I just know what my strengths and weaknesses are. I know my role, and that's all I can do. So, even if I'm working with Nathan or with a studio musician I don't know, it has to be the same process because I don't know any other way. It's like driving a car.
Would you ever be in another band?
I love being in a band. Even with this group that I'm on tour with right now, I feel that we're a unit. It's not the same as Gossip. It's fun. It's different. It's a little bit frightening. The thing about Hannah and Nathan and I—with Kathy, too—we were all such good friends, and we grew up together. We knew each other since we were children. So, the dynamic is different, but I love being in a band. I love the creative process. Of course, I love it.
And for the next solo album?
I don't really think about things like that. Ninety-eight percent of it's so in the moment that I'm never, like, "Ah, I wish I would've done that." It's too late, you know? I always see albums like babies. You have this idea that's inside of you. It grows and grows. It comes to fruition. It becomes its own little person out there in the world for other people to judge, and it's not my job to decide if it's good or bad. It's none of my business. All I can do is my best, you know? You want people to like it, but the truth is you can only do as well as you can. For me, it's not about sonics. With every record, I'm never, like, wanting this sound over this other sound. For me, it's learning that, next time, I hope I trust myself even more.
Can we discuss your fashion line?
Fashion, schmashion. I mean, fashion's fun, but it's a little boring to talk about.
Portland has started to develop something of a reputation for plus-size fashion.
Oh, yeah, for sure. The fat scene in Portland is really strong and really cool and, I would say, unlike any other place. It makes me really proud to be from here. It's another reason why I feel like it's home. Even if I'm not an active participant —I don't necessarily go to every fashion show—it's so nice just to know that it's around me.
So, you do consider Portland home?
Yeah. Forever. Just today we were talking about that. I know there are people who are from here, of course, and who've lived here way longer, but I've still seen it change quite a bit. And, even with all of the changes, it still feels like home to me. The family across the street from me has lived there for 30 years in a rental house, and when I see them, I just feel better. I feel home. It's the only place that, when the plane lands or you drive in, I actually feel home.
Every once in awhile, I'll see an old punk rocker walk down the street. I don't mean, like, old punk rocker—just, y'know, my age, maybe even older. Or, you'll see the weird little kid running around on a skateboard. And you just feel a little bit relieved.
SEE IT: Beth Ditto plays Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar Chavez Blvd., with US Girls, on Monday, July 24. 8 pm. $17 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.