Blazers Owner Paul Allen Is the New Jimi Hendrix, According to Quincy Jones

Today, Vulture published what is—to say the absolute least—an eye-opening interview with legendary record producer Quincy Jones.

It covers a wide range of subjects, from to Kennedy assassination conspiracy theories to Ivanka Trump, who he claims to have dated. The bit that's received the most media attention so far is his assertion that Marlon Brando once had sex with Richard Pryor (among other famous men), an allegation quickly confirmed by Pryor's widow. No word on whether Brando, as Jones also claims, ever actually fucked a mailbox.

But that's not the most shocking part of the conversation.

Somewhere in the middle of the article, Jones and interviewer David Marchese get to talking about the Beatles, who Jones dismisses as "the worst musicians in the world." Y'know who's good, though? Paul Allen.

Yep. According to the man who helped make Michael Jackson a superstar, the submarine-riding, elephant-saving, coral-reef murdering billionaire owner of the Seattle Seahawks and your Portland Trail Blazers is the goddamn reincarnation of Jimi Hendrix:

"Were there any rock musicians you thought were good?
I used to like Clapton's band. What were they called?

Cream.
Yeah, they could play. But you know who sings and plays just like Hendrix?

Who?
Paul Allen.

Stop it. The Microsoft guy?
Yeah, man. I went on a trip on his yacht, and he had David Crosby, Joe Walsh, Sean Lennon — all those crazy motherfuckers. Then on the last two days, Stevie Wonder came on with his band and made Paul come up and play with him — he's good, man."

In addition to all his other globe-trotting pursuits, the 65-year-old Microsoft co-founder collects guitars, and plays them, too. But Hendrix?

To be fair, elsewhere in the interview, Jones also professes his admiration for Ed Sheeran, so maybe the dude's taste is starting to slip in his old age. But hey, he produced Thriller. Who are we to argue, really?