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I despise the glue dots on junk mail. I diligently peel them off and put them in the trash, but I imagine most go into recycling. Then what? Are they water-based? Petrochemical? Do they gum up the recycling equipment?
—TDMaus
It's letters like yours, Maus, that put to rest any suspicion that I make up the questions for this column based on what I think will be interesting or funny. Still, your query raises a significant point.
Just kidding! Glue dots and their discontents may well be the least significant public-policy issue of our time, which is saying something.
For what it's worth—which is literally nothing—glue dots are petroleum-based, and do not dissolve in water. This actually makes them easier to skim out of the watery pulp slurry that old paper is turned into on its way to becoming new, recycled paper.
Still, as I imagine Maus huddled in her garret, convulsed with fury as she picks tiny polymer blobs off her mail, it's hard to shake the sense that humanity was meant to fight bigger battles.
Our species was designed to confront daily adversity—famine, exposure, plague. When was the last time somebody you know died of plague? These days, we've got it made.
But instead of rejoicing in the fact that our species' usual enemies have been vanquished, we just look for new enemies—Comcast, or people who disagree with us about who Hermione should have wound up with, or glue dots.
All I'm saying is, take a minute to appreciate life. Comcast sucks, but let's be real: It doesn't suck in the way that four of your seven children die of it before they reach adulthood.
This is not to say you shouldn't fight the good fight for the recycling stream, but Metro assures me that the real problems are (1) plastic bags and (2) disposable diapers. Keep those out, and the glue dots can go to hell their own way.
Related: What Really Happens to the Food Scraps you Leave Out on the Curb.
Willamette Week