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The Ku Klux Klan is seeking new members in Gresham.
According to the Gresham Outlook, residents in parts of Gresham received invitations to join the KKK last week, with a piece of paper left on doorsteps detailing "the 10 present goals of the United Northern & Southern Knights of the Ku Klux Klan."
Some of the listed goals include: putting an end to homosexuality, ending white discrimination, stopping interracial relationships and defending their right to "bare" arms (because long sleeves are the devils instrument and it's their American right to be sleeveless, god dammit!)
Though there were no reports of residents feeling threatened by the invites, the letters were not received well by members of the community.
Police say the letters are protected as free speech under the First Amendment, so they can't take any action against them.
But for you respectable members of society who don't buy into the hate-fueled doctrine of "white supremacy," do root beer-flavored jelly beans do anything for you? Because the Klan hopes it may be a game changer.
As every eighth grader running for class president knows, giving people free candy is a great way to win someones favor. And the KKK is no exception. With every invitation was included a complimentary bag of root beer-flavored jelly beans. Giving out candy as a recruitment tool is not unique to Oregon recruiting efforts as the Klan has utilized candy before while recruiting in places like South Carolina and New York.
Recruiting with flyers and candy isn't what you would expect from the "Invisible Empire" who revel in their public anonymity. Though with the alleged release of some KKK members by hacker vigilante group Anonymous, the hoods are steadily coming off.
We can only hope that this extremist group one day dissolves altogether but until that day comes don't be surprised if we begin seeing KKK members recruiting on the street with clipboard and pen in tow, competing with Green Peace members for a moment of your time.
Willamette Week