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You can learn a lot about a town by reading a year’s worth of newspapers.
Each week, WW opens the paper with a column called Findings. It’s a table of contents, but it’s also a catalog of the most striking facts that appear in the pages to follow. “What we learned from reading this week’s paper,” it says.
Findings don’t typically appear online—they’re a treat reserved for our print readership. But as one year ends and another begins, we decided to take a closer look at the year’s Findings, as a way of preserving the strangest, funniest and most disturbing details of 2023. Consider this a first draft of history written in footnotes—or try to deduce some recurring trends that display a bit about the contemporary character of Portland.
Here are 51 things we learned—one for each issue we published:
Once the Egyptian Room closed, Sloan’s Tavern became Portland’s unofficial lesbian bar.
A young man was caught “gnawing” at the face of an old man at a Gresham MAX station.
A deputy city attorney left a Dec. 15 meeting with Sam Adams in tears.
The number of Oregonians earning more than $500,000 jumped 11.25% in 2020.
“Pirate hobos” stole electrical power from Newport Seafood Grill.
The Pharmacy, Dante’s and Star Theater were among the first nightspots to stock Narcan.
Dunkin’ Donuts abandoned Portland in 2004, before leaving was cool.
You can belly up to the bar in Lloyd Athletic Club as early as 5:30 am.
The police sergeant who pepper-sprayed an Occupy protester in the mouth was suspended for glorifying violence against protesters.
Punching a pregnant mother in the face outside Pioneer Place mall did not trigger jail time or a hospital bed for one Portland man.
The pit that once held an auto sales office lies just down Powell Boulevard from the abandoned Dunkin’ Donuts.
Wheedle looked like “the offspring of a bear and a Sasquatch who mated.”
Fettuccini Shirley was a signature dish at Darcelle XV in the early ‘80s.
A 25-year-old woman fatally overdosed at Washington Center.
People living in gullies at the foot of the Morrison Bridge were paid $20 an hour to landscape them.
Pickleez, often spelled pikliz, is a spicy Haitian vegetable slaw.
A stolen REI flashlight sells on the street for eight “blues.”
Rosa Cazares threw a champagne fundraiser for Shemia Fagan—and one year later, Fagan urged auditors to interview Cazares.
Miyamoto and Roscoe’s are connected via a series of secret tunnels.
An inspector in White City found U-Haul boxes of weed labeled “lost child.”
A proposed capital gains tax suffered the worst defeat of a Multnomah County ballot measure in 30 years.
A close friend of the fire chief allegedly mocked employees sharing their pronouns.
The Rose Festival bought a float-building company.
What’s a sure sign you’re one of Washington’s fastest-growing cities? A Costco comes to town.
Beloved pizzeria the Organ Grinder had two capuchin monkeys in its vestibule.
The 1987 murder of a French bicyclist on the Oregon Coast remains unsolved.
Carolyn Ward got a job at Krispy Kreme in order to afford a move from Kentucky to Portland.
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark is glad she moved to Portland.
Dancers at Magic Tavern covered their breasts in Bitter Yuck and deodorant as a precaution against sleazy customers.
Ashley Real filed a strangulation complaint against Jesse Lee Calhoun four months before she disappeared.
The Botto’s BBQ pitmaster stole $3 million from health savings accounts.
The city neglected to water new trees in East Portland.
The sheriff warned jail guards that falsifying logbooks was a firing offense.
High school football players could get concussions from the rubber-crumb field at Grant Bowl.
Reed College house advisers don’t want to be narcs.
Walt Curtis’ stories freaked out Ken Kesey.
A woman tried to get into the downtown day shelter carrying a bag of stolen mail.
A top state agency official said if she were to commit murder, she’d wear a scuba suit.
One of the best Hopscotch exhibits to experience while high is Quantum Trampoline, whose lights change color when you bounce.
The Portland Art Museum has dropped its docent council.
Small nonprofits that provide free diapers to Portland families can’t keep enough in stock.
Corey Swim wants to be reimbursed for his stolen Turkish longsword.
Portland Reign Basketball Academy has an offer for parents during the teacher strike.
Earl Blumenauer is sick of air travel.
A former Sortis Holdings employee says coffee business expansion is causing trouble for Bamboo Sushi.
Because fentanyl is fat soluble, Medicaid patients who get residential treatment are dropping out faster.
A llama went searching for Andrew Scott.
If you want to break records, it helps to have pet goat named Lipstick.
Rayan Rupert looks like a very fierce baby deer.
Sheriff’s deputies found 11 million doses of fentanyl in a Cully Airbnb.
Aaron Mitchell’s nanny fled police at the wheel of his car.