Oregonians Cannot Marry Their Cousins. But What if They Could?

All 50 states allow same-sex marriage; however, Oregon prohibits marriage between first cousins: Sally and Jane might fall in love at the family reunion, but they’re denied a binding legal commitment. Could they just not mention the relationship, or would that jeopardize their legal standing if the truth came out? —Bill B.

With all due respect, Bill, I’m having a hard time seeing what same-sex marriage has to do with your cousin question. Surely you’re not trotting out the Rush Limbaugh-era canard (now discredited even on the right) that if society is going to tolerate the godless deviancy of letting two women put their names on the title of the same Subaru, consistency demands that we also endorse incest, necrophilia and unnatural acts with beasts of the field?

I refuse to believe you’d sink that low, so I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re just using the same-sex angle to distract from your plans for that recently turned 18 cousin of yours with the low self-esteem and the drinking problem.

And if that is indeed your plan, I’ve got good news for you: While it’s true that you can’t marry your cousin in Oregon, it’s totally legal to bang them! Oregon law’s prohibition against incest forbids amorous congress with ancestors, descendants and “brothers and sisters of either the whole or half blood,” but all other consenting adults are fair game, including cousins and—crucially for the porn industry—stepsiblings.

Not only that, but straight-up marriage between first cousins—with kids and everything!—is 100% legal in 20 states. (It’s 50% legal in six others, which allow it with various caveats to ensure the union produces no children.) Cousin-friendly states include some usual suspects like Alabama, Tennessee and Florida—but also California, New Jersey and others not known for jokes about saying “I do” at your sister’s wedding. In fact, blue states on the list outnumber the red by roughly 2 to 1. Who knew?

As to the idea of simply not telling the judge that you and your betrothed share a set of grandparents, you are correct that this would engender legal problems: Under Oregon law, such marriages are void even if you had a license and a wedding with a DJ. (If you try to use this fact to hoodwink Tiffany into granting you the carnal benefits of matrimony under false pretenses, however, I’ll be very disappointed in you.)

Questions? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com.