Do recreational drugs go bad? Asking for a friend. —Grownup Club Kid
If you ever find yourself answering one of those online quizzes about “ways to say you’re middle-aged without actually saying you’re middle-aged,” you could do a lot worse than saying, “I’ve had the same vial of cocaine rolling around in my desk drawer for at least three years.” In my 20s, I used to joke that there was no such thing as leftover cocaine; now I find myself irritably shoving it aside to get to the dental floss.
I guess what I’m saying, Grownup, is that in my experience the thing that degrades over time isn’t the drugs, but one’s interest in doing them. (Frankly, at this point I only do them for work.) But let’s say you wake up on your 80th birthday with a deep need to be rolling balls on molly. As luck would have it, you still have a gutta-percha bag of the stuff left over from the Taft inauguration. Will it still work? Will it kill you?
It probably will work—and if it kills you, it will only be because it’s performing as advertised. Chemist and drug-use apostle Alexander Shulgin has been widely quoted as saying that if the pharaohs had put MDMA in the pyramids it would still be good today. That line may be apocryphal, but synthesized phenethylamines like MDMA, amphetamine, mescaline and 2C-B are generally considered stable for years, if not decades, provided they’re kept dry and not exposed to tons of UV light.
But what about all-natural, plant-derived compounds, like cocaine? Much of the available research focuses on how long cocaine lasts in urine samples, which isn’t all that helpful. (If you didn’t know dissolving your cocaine in urine isn’t the best way to store it, you do now.) However, one study found that after 36 months the potency of powder cocaine dropped by between 20% (under cool, dry conditions) and 30% (under warm, humid conditions). Weirdly, the samples didn’t degrade much more between 36 and 60 months. (The study ended at 60 months, probably due to a particularly memorable faculty Christmas party.)
LSD? It lasts about a year, maybe a few years in the freezer. Psilocybin mushrooms? They degrade after as little as a few months, which makes my ancient specimens the most pointless substance in my collection of pointless drugs. But what am I supposed to do—just throw them away? Who knows what kind of mood I’ll be in when I’m 80?
Questions? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com.