Skip to main content
reads a notice on the wall of Saburo's Sushi House. Almost every wood panel in Sellwood's cult Japanese restaurant is covered with signs, each spitting a specific rule about Saburo's takeout procedures. The notices were made by owner Saburo Nakajima's wife, Joyce, who heads up the dining room and once directed an equally strict regime as a policewoman in Singapore.
Hungry for crisp salmon-skin salad and soft-shell crab spider rolls, Saburo's faithful horde loiters outside like benchwarmers at the big game. The wait can last up to two hours. Once the would-be eaters reach the cramped inner sanctum, the most they can expect is curt, pit-stop service. Want water? Try flagging the waitress. Ditto for the bill. Don't even try ordering seconds. And you love every minute of it.
Saburo's, along with places like Bombay Cricket Club and Escape from New York Pizza shake up routine meals by challenging our notion of what makes great restaurants tick. Along with the gruff boiled shirts at Montage, they are the Rose City's answer to Seinfeld's Soup Nazi--a regular bunch of BDSM bistros. Knowing that most kitchens can't compete with their pizza, sushi or samosas, they seem to rub our noses in their sauces and we beg for more.
"It's not like we're told to be mean, but if people give us shit--were allowed to give it back," says "Summer," a longtime Escape from New York server only brave enough to give her first name.
By many accounts the service at this dingy yet beloved 20-year-old Northwest 23rd Avenue joint is at best quick and at worst awful--from occasional shouting matches across the counter to one rumor of mythic proportions where a guest was banned from completing her order after she reportedly "breathed on the pizza." Who'd put up with such abuse? Anybody with a craving for a proper floppy New York pie, it seems. Since Escape is one of the only places in town to offer a cheap East Coast cheeser (a slice is only $2.10), nobody complains too loudly about the snubs.
The gastronomic gauntlet continues on Hawthorne where the harsh words "No! No take out tonight!" haunt Maggie Yuan, who used to try and order from Indian/Middle Eastern mainstay Bombay Cricket Club almost every week. But her cravings for homemade Indian flatbread and rustic saag paneer were as often as not rebuffed by a brusque "We're too busy." "I always hold my breath, not knowing whether they'll take the order," says Yuan, who owns Northeast Alberta shoe store pedX. She puts up with the spotty service because, like dozens of regulars, she has a soft spot for what she calls "The Spice"--a slow burn of cumin, ginger and saffron that can't be found elsewhere.
Bombay's manager, Nick Iannarone, admits that on a weekend night, chances of scoring a to-go order of tender lamb shahi (braised lamb shanks in a gingery tomato curry) are slim to naan. Savvy home diners avoid the 6-to-8 pm rush by ordering early.
It may be Saburo's, though, that inspires the most intense fanaticism. On a recent visit one regular, PCC student Mo McFeely, had a tip for first timers: "Pre-eat or bring a snack for the wait." A visiting couple from Austin, Texas, seemed excited even to sit on "the bench." Why the raw mania? "The portions are huge and the fish is fresh," explains McFeely. "I wait here because it is, consistently, so good." She's right. Beyond its strict, almost clublike entrance policies (full party present or no table) lies mountains of high-quality salmon, eel and other sea treasures served in truckstop-size chunks (Nakajima modeled his plates after American fast food back in 1989). One order of Saburo's $3.75 unagi is nearly double the size and a buck less than similar dishes at a Pearl District sushi house. The gregarious Nakajima even explained his service caveat: "Joyce and my waiters, they don't have time to be so nice."
Perhaps we all have a bit of the mealtime masochist in us. Maybe we enjoy the challenge of being brushed off, barked at and then shooed out the door as much as we crave a keister-kissing waiter to welcome us. Going the extra mile at these restaurants makes us concentrate on what we came there for: the food. These places put the stovetop before the service, and their patrons put the food, well, above everything else.
(622 NW 23rd Ave., 227-5423),
Bombay Cricket Club
(1925 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 231-0740),
Saburo's Sushi House
(1667 SE Bybee Blvd., 236-4237)
More than 250 people can cycle though Saburo's 60-seat restaurant in one night.
"All the pretty people come in and want to boss the little hole-in-the-wall pizza guys around. Working on this street, you can understand why we have an attitude," says Escape from New York Pizza worker "Summer."
WWeek 2015