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"Suddenly he grabs me, tipping me across his lap. With one smooth movement, he angles his body so my torso is resting on the bed beside him. He throws his right leg over both mine and plants his left forearm on the small of my back, holding me down so I cannot move." —50 Shades
"Better to eat pretzels than imitate them." —Dr. Ruth
"He's my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder… Hmm… My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves." —50 Shades
"Last night at party for Steuben German-American Parade, I got them all dancing the polka. Of course I started it!" —Dr. Ruth
"You beguile me, Christian. Completely overwhelm me. I feel like Icarus flying too close to the sun." —50 Shades
"Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn." —Dr. Ruth
"Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow!… He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no… Will it? How?" —50 Shades
"Boo is not a word a penis appreciates hearing when in the act of trying to become erect" —Dr. Ruth
"Before I know it, he's got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he's pinning me to the wall using his lips… His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine… My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance." —50 Shades
"Have you heard of eyeball-licking as sexual play? Don't do it. Germs from mouth can cause infection in eye."
—Dr. Ruth
"Christian squirts baby oil into his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness—from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid." —50 Shades
"If you run out of lubricant, then you can use some butter instead." —Dr. Ruth
"His tongue mirrors the actions of his fingers, claiming me… He gentles his hand, so I'm brought back from the brink… I come instantly again and again, falling apart beneath him… then I'm building again… I climax anew." —50 Shades
"Giving a header can give you a concussion. Giving head gives orgasm. I continue to say sex is better than soccer!" —Dr. Ruth
"His breathing is ragged, matching mine. 'When did you start your period, Anastasia?'… He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string—what?!— and gently takes my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck." —50 Shades
"Some women feel more aroused when they have their period. If you put a towel under you and have sex." —Dr. Ruth
GO: Becoming Dr. Ruth is at the Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 239-5919. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays, Feb. 5-28. $15-$35. Cuff Me! is at the Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday, Feb. 11-14. $49.50-$53.50.
WWeek 2015