Skip to main contentAalto Lounge
Best drinking song of all time? "Rum to Whiskey" by the Murder City Devils.
"Girl with Brown Eyes" by the Pogues.
This hipster warren on Belmont gets all brassy when the music's up (vinyl, too). Service can be slow, but you'll enjoy the scenery—mustachioed baristi, doe-eyed bettys and flat-out gorgeous barkeeps will make you want to do like bunnies. Eye candy is paired well with liquor-candy (try the Belmont Lime Drop). They have a smart wine list, but paltry beer selection (only three on tap). Art curated by Mark Woolley; Monday is movie night. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, PATIO, MOVIES, DJs, SMOKING LOUNGE, WI-FI. (HN)
Alberta Street Public House
To prevent a hangover, keep drinking.
On the corner of Northeast 10th Avenue and Alberta Street, this endearingly shabby pub is a bit removed from the artsy bustle of the higher-numbered blocks. Still, most nights its snug wooden booths and screened-in patio are full of happy, tipsy customers—especially when there's live music, which is often. The pub even has occasional happy-hour shows. Equal numbers of Irish flags and pig knickknacks (homage to owner's former pet) adorn the walls. A solid, rotating tap list, standard mixed drinks and decent bar food round out the menu. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, MOVIES, LIVE MUSIC, SMOKE FREE, OPEN MIC. (ES)
Alibi
According to the k-crew, frat types give bad karaoke singers atomic wedgies.
A wicker seat at this tiki bar makes a nice and comfy place to enjoy an island cocktail like the Banana Cabana ($7). The University of Portland crowd dominates the nightly karaoke with renditions of Dave Matthews and other horrors. It can be fun to battle them with rock 'n' roll, but the staff here have seen surly hipsters lifted by their tighty whities. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, KARAOKE, VIDEO POKER, FREE BUFFETS, GAMES. (JS)
Ambassador Restaurant and Lounge
"My favorite drink is the Pepper Mill. It got its name from one the bartenders on an off night—she was drinkin' 'em and dancin' in circles." She raises her right hand above her head like she's riding a bull, and twirls in circles singing, "Woo! Woo!" It does indeed look like a human pepper mill, but reminds us more of
.
It's dirty, dingy and greasy, but we love it: The Ambassador is one-third Chinese restaurant, one-third smoky lounge and one-third karaoke extravaganza. Actually, it's more like two-thirds karaoke. The regulars at the Ambassador do not fuck around; this is the joint where the serious singers—people with good voices who may even have an act—go to croon and strut. It's appropriately smoky and the waitresses are appropriately skanky. In short, everything you ever would want in a dive bar/Chinese restaurant. HAPPY HOUR, KARAOKE, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, VIDEO POKER. (LS)
American Cowgirls
Steer horns with dollars stabbed on the tips.
Once you relax and accept the fact that this faux-Western joint is lame, the fun can begin. Cowpokes and preppies mingle on the spacious, stellar dance floor to country music before 10 pm and booty music after. A lofted area filled with black and red leather couches provides a place to woo your sweetheart, and you won't be disappointed in the size or strength of the drinks, either. Friendly, bottle-slingin' staff and pretty standard prices remind you you're in a locally owned, one-of-a-kind joint—although with its clean, well-lit interior and proliferation of plastic Rockstar banners, it could easily pass for a chain. KARAOKE, DJs, VIDEO POKER, SMOKE-FREE, HAPPY HOUR, POKER NIGHT, GAMES, DANCING, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS. (JS)
Amnesia Brewing Company
Hungover? The bartender prescribes one dose of Emergen-C vitamin powder or, of course, the hair of the dog that bit ya.
If your annual family reunion is populated by laid-back people chilling at wide plank tables littered with goldfish and pretzel crumbs, eating plump grilled sausages ($5) and veggie burgers ($6), and getting sauced off pints of strong, excellent local beer, you're lucky to be related to the Amnesia clan. The official indoor/outdoor living room of North Mississippi Avenue, the local brewing company lures revelers with pints of thick chocolate porter, funky ESBs and dynamite seasonal IPAs (all $3.75, with seasonal exceptions), along with plenty of country tunes and the happiest collection of tail-wagging mutts this side of the Lucky Lab. This is the stuff summer is made of; and if it rains, hell, that's what the roomy, concrete-floored warehouse and huge tented parking lot are for. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, LIVE MUSIC, WI-FI. (KC)
Apotheke
Locally produced, zippy Kogstad Aquavit ($7)—for the right occasion.
Apotheke might look like a spaceship from the future, or at least like it belongs in SoHo, but its staff is pleasantly down-to-earth. Without the slightest sneer, they'll walk you through their intimidating "syllabus" of exotic drinks and have you sampling beer and wine from around the world before you settle on some delectable liquor you've never tasted before. Expect to hear sweet electronic beats and nibble Northern European fare like Westmalle wild-boar stew ($7). SMOKE-FREE, DJs, LIVE MUSIC, WI-FI. (WC)
Ararat
Red Bull with vodka ($5) is the hands-down customer favorite for gaining energy and shedding inhibitions before hitting the Slavic Saturday Night Fever dance floor.
For a different kind of dance night and a reminder that the world does not, in fact, revolve around Portland, step out of your comfort zone and into that of the city's (mostly Eastern) European immigrants. Relive your semester abroad dancing to international club hits from the '90s and breathing in the scent of heavily perfumed men. P.S. Bathroom brawls are not uncommon, so save your Borat impression for some other time, OK comrade? VIDEO POKER, PATIO, DJs, DANCING. (SC)
Ash Street Saloon
The tattooed crew's in no mood for B.S. A sign above the bar reads, "If you forgot your limit, we will tell you."
Gray and dusty, just like its name, Ash Street salutes the grittier side of rock. Local and West Coast bands pass through seven nights a week, and even in the middle of the afternoon, the Murder City Devils and Biohazard scream from the speakers. Best of all, the necessities for crusty rock-star living are right at your dirty fingertips: a cigarette machine, $1 PBRs (during happy hour) and the three-meals-in-one "Kick Your Ash" burger ($7), slopping over with egg, bacon and ham. HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, OUTDOOR SEATING, JUKEBOX, LIVE MUSIC, COMEDY. (JM)
Aura
Hangover cure? A straight shot of whiskey.
If hanging out with overdressed rich kids in a crowded club straight outta
(the TV show, not the movie) is your preferred Saturday-night scene, then this is your place. The cover and long lines outside keep the proles away, but there are plenty of Pearl District passersby to watch you freeze your ass off in the cold. The music is as cheesy as the over-cologned clientele, but you'll probably have fun despite yourself. Bonus: Tinted windows above the men's urinals let guys scope the dance floor while they piss. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD SPECIALS, PATIO, SMOKING LOUNGE, SMOKE-FREE, DJs. (JP)
Bar of the Gods
Don't eat the grapes.
If trucker hats, rowdy pool-playing and a
pinball machine are your idea of heaven, then Bar of the Gods—or BOG, if you prefer—is your ticket. A "dive bar" for the younger (read: hipper and more attractive) Hawthorne crowd, BOG caters largely to an enthusiastic band of neighborhood regulars. For interlopers, there's appeal in BOG's climate-controlled patio and generous happy-hour specials, including the obligatory—but always appreciated—$1 PBR. WI-FI, HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV. (KH)
Bartini
The Blackberry Lemon Drop is the most commonly requested concoction—so give the guys a break and order something different.
Two patrons at this Northwest watering hole recently disagreed about the suitability of bringing a date to Bartini. He joked that the cavelike atmosphere would cast an enticing, mysterious shadow on would-be suitors. She said inexpensive froufrou cocktails like the Lavender Cosmo ($3.50 during happy hour: 4-6:30 pm every day, 9 pm-midnight Monday through Thursday, all night Sunday) would make the bar a better fit for cash-strapped chicks on girls' night out. Final verdict? Bring a cheap date: Food specials are $2, for chrissake. Then go back with cheap friends. HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, SMOKE-FREE. (BS)
Basement Pub
You'll think you're wearing beer goggles when you see the extra-big, 20-ounce "pints" at happy hour.
This dressed-down Buckman neighborhood hangout is more beloved than ever since the bar started serving hard alcohol last December. Don't come here for a pineapple-tini: Portland's less pretentious hipsters come to while away rainy evenings with basics like a whiskey ginger ($4) or pint of Sierra Nevada ($3.50). A well-curated jukebox includes everything from Buddy Holly to Public Enemy to Os Mutantes. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, GAMES, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV, JUKEBOX, WI-FI. (SC)
Bent Liquid Lounge and Bistro
When Greg'r says, "Bottoms up!" it takes on a whole new meaning here.
Located at the east end of the Ross Island Bridge, this has to be the worst place for a gay bar in Portland ever. Which, of course, makes it the best place ever. A mixed queer crowd of gays, lesbians and drag queens have invaded this smallish space. The super-small dance floor maintains one remnant of its days as a Latina-centric strip club: a stripper pole. Thankfully, although the pole is still standing, the glistening images of newly bought implants and the scent of shaved pudenda are long gone, replaced with something resembling a West Hollywood fern bar from the 1970s. Everything about this place is wrong, thank God—from the carpet that looks like it was salvaged from an abandoned Hamburger Mary's, to the menu that features Costco-sized platters of nachos and crab puffs, to a deck that has all the appeal of being trapped in a livestock pen. Heaven. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV, DJs, WI-FI, QUEER, KARAOKE, DRAG. (BB)
Berbati's Pan
I'm sure my bartender said something funny, but it's so damn loud in here!
Ah, Berbati's Pan, the Costco of downtown bars! What looks like a big box form the outside, though, usually amounts to a solid night out (hints of Greek and nautical themes successfully distract from the building's generally clumsy architecture). If your money is gone after a night at Berbati's, the venue's very serious pool and pinball sharks are the most likely culprit, not its reasonably priced Greek menu or suitably stiff mixed drinks. On live-music evenings (and most of them are), one can jump back and forth between a great show and a great conversation on the two distinctive sides of the club. Or you can just get drunk and watch '80s music videos on the huge projection screen. HAPPY HOUR, DJ, LIVE MUSIC, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV, VIDEO POKER, GAMES. (CJ)
Bettie Ford Lounge
Take solace in the rocker with the very big hair stationed behind the bar. He likes leather pants and swears by pho to cure his hangover blues.
There are two troughs (one real and one metaphorical) at this aptly named, hospital-like dance club: one for the guys to piss in and another for the animalistic patrons to eat out of. Seriously, with a man-to-woman ratio of about 100 to 1 (at least on the night we went—a multitude of baseball-capped dudes were gawking at two jiggling chicks), this place screams lacrosse frat party. If that doesn't bother you, this is a good place to load up on cheap eats. Bettie's happy hour stretches longer than most in this town (5 pm-midnight Wednesday; 5-9 pm Thursday-Friday). HAPPY HOUR, DJs, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, DANCING, QUEER NIGHTS, OUTDOOR SEATING, SMOKING LOUNGE. (ND)
Beulahland
Stop the next morning's headache by drinking slowly before your first cigarette—yes, this must happen before noon. Or go for a Bloody Mary with meat in it.
Members of the faux working class have landed, and they're on bar stools at Beulahland. Support the last vestige of Northeast 28th Avenue that isn't overrun with middle-aged wine drinkers and mix with twentysomethings gearing up for the annual Soapbox Derby down Mount Tabor. Have delicious bartenders serve you beautiful homemade veggie burgers ($6.50 with a pickle). Sit in booths, eat pie and play the oldest pinball in Portland! So much fun in one spot! The place can get a bit packed, but with one side given over to nonsmokers, it never gets too carcinogenic. HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, DJs, JUKEBOX, TV, (RARE) LIVE MUSIC, SMOKING LOUNGE. (ND)
Biddy McGraw's
Favorite drink? Chocolate milk, straight up.
A popular nexus for residents of Northeast's Center neighborhood—a seldom-recognized borough sandwiched between East Burnside and I-84, with the Laurelhurst and Montavilla 'hoods forming its lateral boundaries—Biddy's is anything but exclusive. The Tuesday Pub Quiz has a devoted following, and the open stage area features an eclectic lineup of live music nearly every night of the week. Visitors in search of an Irish fix will not be disappointed, for 'tis true owner/bartender Ian pours the finest Guinness this side of Éire. GAMES, LIVE MUSIC, TRIVIA NIGHT. (KH)
Billy Ray's Neighborhood Dive
The hand-decorated mugs for regulars, displayed above the bar.
It won't cost you much to drink beer from a 22-ounce glass ($4.25 for micros, $2.75 for PBR; cash only), but to earn the honor of painting one and hanging it above the booze will take years of rubbing the paint off bar stools in this red barn. If you prefer standin', there's an extensive pinball selection in an upstairs room that occasionally hosts rowdy matinee rock shows. HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, PATIO, JUKEBOX, LIVE MUSIC. (JS)
Binks
Invented at Binks, the elegantly simple Pabst-tini—Pabst with olives floating in it.
This tidy, stuccoed beer-and-wine joint makes the most of its small interior by blurring the line between indoor and outdoor space. At one end of the building, a garage-style door opens onto the sidewalk, and a railed-in patio is stuck to the other. The airy, laid-back vibe and solid beer selection make for excellent summer drinking. HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV, JUKEBOX, FIREPLACE. (ES)
The Bitter End
Anything vodka.
The Bitter End feels like a typical neighborhood sports bar on most nights, but expect an explosion of people whenever the Beavers or Timbers are playing. Lots of games, from video bowling and Ms. Pac-Man to foosball, keep the masses entertained. Wash down their tasty tater tots with a pint from the many local taps, but tread lightly around the Timbers Army. HAPPY HOUR, LIVE MUSIC, OPEN MIC, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, TV, OPEN MIC, JUKEBOX. (DW)
Black Cat Tavern
The tavern's cadre of bawdy bartendresses pencil in customers' birthdays along with free shuffleboard nights (Tuesdays and Wednesdays) on their Xeroxed monthly calendar.
Sellwood's Black Cat is an exercise in déjà vu: Wood-paneled walls papered with Miller Lite and Camel promo art? Check. Worn, gum-spotted carpeting? Got it. Well-loved shuffleboard and pool tables? Jukebox spouting Johnny Cash? Happy drinkers downing cheap micros and crowding around a Golden Tee game? Triple yep. See? You were a regular at this cheery-beery hideaway, named for a 1934 Boris Karloff horror flick, already. Bonus: Wear your Black Cat T-shirt on Tuesday nights and get 50 cents off yer beers. Mee-ow. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, JUKEBOX, TV. (KC)
Blue Monk
Once among the only jazz clubs in Portland, the Blue Monk is (sadly) transforming its cozy performance space into a "Basement Lounge," with billiards, darts and shuffleboard. Presumably, this will put the Monk in competition for the heavy-drinking, pool-happy rowdies at the adjacent Belmont Inn. Which would be too bad: The spacious upstairs has a clean, grown-up feel. Knowledgeable bartenders serve an impressive array of beer, and the generous "East Coast menu" gets late-night noshing right. HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, OUTDOOR SEATING, SMOKING LOUNGE. (HN)
Bogart's
"Beer and video poker," she said, taking a slow drag off her cigarette. "The place is better on Friday nights." She exhaled to the low ceiling.
A longtime local haunt, this place is pretty easy to miss. It doesn't help that it's hidden between the glassy hotels and parking garages of the commerce-meets-convention-center section of town. But the cool little divey-in-a-
-kind-of-way bar has wi-fi, the normal assortment of cheap beer and micros, and well drinks mixed stiff. Really stiff. Take your laptop there on Thursdays, work in peace with a pack of smokes, and enjoy the solitude. HAPPY HOUR, VIDEO POKER, LIVE MUSIC, KARAOKE, TV. (BC)
Boiler Room
The Boiler Room is housed in one of Portland's oldest buildings; it was once a brothel and is said to be haunted by the ghost of a hooker who got tossed down an elevator shaft. Spooky.
If you've never heard of the Boiler Room, you've never worked at a restaurant in Portland—this is where PDX's service-industry workers go to spend tips and sing karaoke after a tough closing shift. The staff is friendly, drinks are cheap (High Life, $2) and karaoke rock stars abound. HAPPY HOUR, COMEDY, SMOKE-FREE (FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS), KARAOKE. (MT)
Boxxes/Red Cap/Brig
Never one to be shy, our bartender insisted that the best hangover cure is to have him in your bed.
This three-pronged labyrinth has everything a boy could want: weekly karaoke nights with a stage at Boxxes, a cheap-ass happy hour ($2.50 well drinks) at Red Cap and the dance floor at Brig to get your groove on. While each of these spaces have their own manly charm (throw in the outdoor seating along Stark Street to cruise the men strolling by), on a hopping night these three align in celestial grandeur to create one of the Burnside Triangle's most happening gay hangouts. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, KARAOKE, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, DJs, QUEER. (WB)
Brooklyn Park Pub
The sweet new bartender of Portland's newest whiskey bar has a dirty little secret: She doesn't even like whiskey. Her favorite drink? That frat-house staple, the vodka cran.
This friendly neighborhood sports bar has everything a friendly neighborhood sports bar should: neighborly patrons, rotating micros ($3.50), ugly carpeting and a swear jar. As a bonus, the BPP offers comprehensive sports coverage (even early-morning games) and one of the finest selections of whiskey, bourbon and rye in town. Their Whiskey Club is gaining notoriety, as it should: After sampling 30 whiskeys from their incredible stock (over 85 to choose from), you'll get $1 off the sweet elixir—for life. DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV, JUKEBOX, LIVE MUSIC. (HN)
Buffalo Gap Saloon
When you offer more than half a dozen french-fry dipping sauces, this barf-inducing request is inevitable: a round of tequila shots topped with country gravy.
You could bunker down in this cabinlike, plaid-carpeted lounge during the winter and forget to get out of your armchair until the summer sun sizzled on the attic patio. Even though their happy hour is food-only ($2.95 pulled-pork sandwiches), the crowd's still rowdy enough to make the dead animals on the wall loopy. With three pool tables and music six nights a week, this Gap is an easy one to get lost in. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV, JUKEBOX, LIVE MUSIC, SMOKING LOUNGE, KARAOKE, COMEDY. (JM)
C Bar
"You can totally make out" in the back room's cushy chairs.
If children were allowed in, they'd definitely enjoy the Japanese toy collection, sit-down arcade machine and drop-down divider curtains of C Bar. Adults seem to dig it, too: The dimly lit neighborhood joint is artsy without being pretentious, and offers comfortable hideaways in its enclosed back patio and narrow side room. C Bar-tenders seem as natural with the jet-set as they are with the unshaven neighborhood regulars. Not one, but two happy hours make the whole experience, well, happier, and an impending expansion into the space next door promises pinball! LIVE MUSIC, DJs, OUTDOOR SEATING, GAMES, SMOKE-FREE. (CJ)
Camellia Lounge
Shinjuku bubble tea ($7), a blend of green tea, almond liqueur, sake and vodka.
Sure, the Camellia Lounge at the TeaZone sounds like a corporate-sponsored yuppie hot spot peddling the latest in trendy Zen. And it is, but not so much as you'd think. Looking past the inevitable crowd of turtlenecked thirtysomethings, you'll notice spindled lights dangling from the ceiling, curtains shining with soft colors and a well-stacked, glittering bar. The prices aren't exactly modest, but, hell, neither are the drinks—with over 100 teas and 18 tea-infused specialty cocktails, the possibilities are overwhelming. Every afternoon (4-6 pm) and evening (10 pm-midnight) the Lounge offers a happy hour, and every Tuesday it pulls out the projector and screens classic films. FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, SMOKE-FREE, HAPPY HOUR. (AS)
Captain Ankeny's Well
It's your 21st birthday? Congratulations...that'll be $3 for the Corona, please.
The captain threw down his anchor in '83 and continues to draw a steady stream of regulars and visitors almost 25 years later. No pretensions here: it's beer (20-plus on tap) and hooch, deep-dish pizza (slices or pies), burgers ($5.95) and all-you-can-eat spaghetti on Thursdays ($5.95). Yeah, the post-work bike messengers are still in full effect, but so are the office-space dwellers, tourists and between-show clubgoers from neighboring rock venues. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, DJs, TV, SMOKE FREE (until 3 pm), WI-FI. (JLM)
Casey's Nightclub & Lounge
When Scott flashes his pearly whites, all you'll be thinking about is getting a stiff one (drink, that is).
Scheduled to officially open in the next couple of weeks, Casey's is owned by Karl Wilgus, who also operates Stark Street's "will they or won't they close?" Eagle leather bar (not to be confused with NoPo newbie Eagle Portland). Casey's is in the once-infamous Lush space, which started out its life on Couch Street as a fancy restaurant but ended its run as a seedy strip club. Although the two-floored Casey's is just down the block from anything-goes Embers, on its sneak-preview night it still sported Lush's tired look, at least on the smoker-heavy first floor. That said, the downstairs bar rocks. A black-on-black minimalist space with a ghetto-freaky light show, it (sort of) has the vibe of a haughty, naughty New York queer bar à la the Cock—perfect for the pretty boys who litter this space like so many meat thermometers. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, GAMES, STRIPPERS, QUEER, DANCING, DJs, SMOKING LOUNGE. (BB)
C.C. Slaughters
The bartender was too busy eating Chinese food at the other end of the counter, recovering from his own hangover, to engage with customers.
One of Old Town's most colorful gay establishments, the boys have been coming to the queer faux-country-and-Western-cum-mega-dance-complex for a while now. Why? For the exhibition of drag queens and their entourages, for the superb dance floor that stretches out like a subterranean galleria, and for the spectacle of the dancing divos showing off their bodies. An ice-cold blue light emanates from every counter of this hot spot, sometimes illuminating the distance the men keep from each other, other times highlighting the lack thereof. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, LIVE MUSIC, DJs, STRIPPERS, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, QUEER NIGHTS, TV, KARAOKE, OPEN MIC, WI-FI, DRAG. (WB)
The Cheerful Tortoise
Want to catch breaking national headlines while you take a leak? ABC News feeds headlines to screens above the urinals.
The college bar to end all college studies—and one of the few places in town you're likely to spot an "OHSU ROCKS!" banner—the Tortoise features an fortress of floor-to-ceiling TVs and a reliable clan of hippies stationed at the pool tables. Dedicated alcoholics can start killing the pain at 7 am each weekday with domestic brews ($2.50), while the "Best Deal in Town" ($1.99 for two eggs, hash browns and toast) is available to get you sobered up before your biology final. HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, LIVE MUSIC, KARAOKE, TV, OUTDOOR SEATING. (AWM)
Cheers NW
Serving up extra-large beer backs that taste faintly of onions.
Besides Joe's Cellar, this smoky, lovably trashy joint is one of Northwest Portland's last bastions of divey-ness. Though it looks like an abandoned diner upon entering, Cheers NW is plenty cozy for bellyin' up, and Wednesday karaoke provides some welcome entertainment. And, for working class regulars, this is a place where they probably
know your name. With kinda skunky taps, it's better to opt for stiff mixed drinks or tall pours of Maker's Mark ($5). Just get to the jukebox before the patrons' nu-metal picks take over. VIDEO POKER, TV, JUKEBOX, KARAOKE. (AGM)
The Chesterfield
The large round booth on the upstairs mezzanine might be the best Friday-night real estate in Portland.
Media-hungry haircut honcho Leo Rivera (Bishops Barbershop) owns the Chesterfield, Portland's newest sleek hangout on a strip of lower East Burnside that's fast becoming a destination for high-design watering holes. The graffiti murals and painted skateboards that adorn the red walls remind patrons of Burnside's energetic roots while DJs, chic lighting and creative, well-priced cocktails point to what's in store for the hip 'hood's future. Try the Campari-tinged Americana ($6). Its red hue matches the walls. DJs, SMOKE-FREE. (MT)
Chopsticks Express II
Bloody Mary, no extra blood.
Not just another karaoke dive where it's best to be DOA (drunk on arrival), Chopsticks has a vast menu of gloppy Chinese-American food and a lineup of karaoke regulars that's not entirely impossible to penetrate. Tip the KJs enough and you might actually get to do your hair-raising version of "Against All Odds"—and once you start, man, they can't stop you, even if they want to. It's also home to sin night and the hipster-royalty mustache contest, the 'Stash Bash. KARAOKE, HAPPY HOUR, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, TV. (BO)
Clinton Street Pub
The young lady behind the bar chain-smokes while reading Steinbeck.
The Clinton Street is a great last stop on Saturday night. Booze-loosened, one can make a lot of friends while squeezing shoulder to shoulder in the orange glow of a dozen old beer lamps—the pub is a virtual museum of alcohol-advertising kitsch. It's on Sunday afternoon, though, that the place really shines. In the sunlight, one appreciates just how crooked and dusty the Clinton Street Pub truly is. The pinball machines are open (all five of them) and the pool table is free. The girl behind the bar plays Modest Mouse, and the lyrical insults ("I'm trying to drink away the part of the day that I cannot sleep away") go largely unnoticed. We love this place. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, GAMES, TV. (CJ)
Commodore Lounge
A Bloody Mary stronger than Catholic guilt.
The Commodore is the kind of place where you want to start a night or end one. Liquor runs the gamut—from Johnny Walker Black ($6.50) to a rum and Coke ($2.75) with rum so heavy it looks like iced tea. The soundtrack, courtesy of one great jukebox, sets the tone for regulars who flock early to this dimly lit dive. Don't smoke? Don't matter. You'll inhale half a pack anyway as patrons puff and plunk 20s into video-poker machines and quarters into pool tables. This is the real deal—happy hour starts at 7 am. VIDEO POKER, GAMES, TV, JUKEBOX, HAPPY HOUR. (MT)
County Cork Public House
Hangover cure? "Water. All a hangover is is dehydration." A bar and a place of scientific learning. Cool.
The Harp ($4.50 a pop) is good and cold. The Murphy's Stew ($9) warms you up on a chilly night, and the side of soda bread is a nice touch, indicating that management recognizes this treat shouldn't only be served stateside on St. Patrick's Day. The guitarist sounds Irish. And there's even a map of the Old Sod to make you feel like you're spending the evening in Ballygarvan. Only a Jack-ass McSorley would be distracted from the otherwise-pleasant Irish idyll to note that there's a Mariners game on the tube, and that this little slice of County Cork is near a Starbucks and a Wild Oats. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, TV, LIVE MUSIC, OUTDOOR SEATING, WI-FI. (HS)
Crow Bar
"Hmm...that restroom line is suspiciously long."
Crow Bar is dark, a little red, a little black and a little bit wood. The ambience makes you feel cool for being there without making you question if you're cool enough for this North Mississippi destination. But the question is: Is there room for you? This narrow spot can get full, especially if, after a couple of on-tap margaritas ($5), a pair of patrons decide to get frisky in the loo. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, JUKEBOX, WI-FI. (JS)
Crush
The extravagant falafel salad with salty 'n' sultry olive tapenade.
If Burning Man were prom, this would be the after party. An inconspicuous anchor of Morrison's nightlife, Crush is home to such lively events as "Dumpster Diving Disco," where the radical chic can butt heads with cheeky sweet jams. Sitting at the glowing, high-top bar you can marvel at the minimalist aesthetic that is surprisingly modern and warm (a relative paradox and difficult feat to attain) and truly delectable dessert drinks. Plenty of vegan fare is available for your late-night cravings, too. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, QUEER, DJs, LIVE PERFORMANCES, OUTDOOR SEATING, SMOKING LOUNGE, DANCING, WI-FI. (AS)
Dante's
Jack Daniels and PBR ("Keep it country, man!"); Sinferno Cabaret/Sex Industry Night ("Best thing going on Sundays in Portland.")
The much beloved Dante's has picked up where the old Satyricon (not to be confused with the new one) left off, and with a few more tricks up its sleeve. Catch live music (local and touring) almost every night of the week at this dark, sexy den of rock and cabaret. On Mondays, live out your own rock-star fantasy at Karaoke from Hell, which features a live backing band with a surprisingly large repertoire. Check out "low-dough shows" on Thursdays. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, VIDEO POKER, KARAOKE, LIVE MUSIC, DJs, FIRE PIT, COMEDY, GAMES. (JLM)
Darcelle XV
Reigning queen is the Darcelle Delight ($9.25), a tall, generous mix of rum and liqueurs. It comes with a take-home cup and hangover, which Darcelle's son, JR, recommends curing with some beer and tomato juice the next morning.
Darcelle has been performing glamorous drag productions at her eponymous club since the dawn of time (a.k.a. 1967), and the walls overflow with clippings and memorabilia to flaunt the history she's created. It's worth the "entertainment charge" to watch her strut her stuff on TV and stage, eat your dinner and be constantly dazzled. With her evening shows (all sequins and spectacle), Darcelle continues to reinvent the meaning of "to shine." Watch out for the inevitable bachelorette parties, as they seem to be part of the late-night package. DRINK SPECIALS, STRIPPERS, DRAG, COMEDY, LATE-NIGHT. (WB)
District
Ask your server why the bird cage is there—a goodstory follows.
The sweet quality of the servers makes up for the vaultlike atmosphere of this chi-chi Pearl/Brewery Blocks bar, which has seen its share of changeovers (this once was once the space for 750 mL, Cobra & Matadors and La Vanguardia). Everything here is in keeping with the neighborhood's attitude—the drinks are strong, swift and spendy ($8 is an average price for a killer cocktail). It's worth the cost, which goes down every time their incredibly delicious happy hour kicks into high gear. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, WI-FI. (WB)
Doug Fir
Jamming to great music almost every day of the week, getting people wasted and chatting it up with everyone from Olympic snowboarder Shaun White to rock royalty Sean Lennon.
Whether you're there to kiss up to the drummer before his band's set or you just wanna get all liquored up, the Doug Fir is the scenester's ultimate destination. Its cheeky decor (woodsy log cabin meets indie rockhouse), hip clientele and tasty specialty drinks (try the Blackberry Cosmo, $7, for a fruity twist on the chi-chi classic, or Blueballs, $8, a mix of Stoli Blueberi and Red Bull) make this the place to see and be seen. Should you wind up meeting your match (bandmate or otherwise), the adjacent Jupiter Hotel makes an ideal spot to make out—or pass out. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, DJs, LIVE MUSIC, OUTDOOR SEATING/SMOKING LOUNGE. (EB)
Driftwood Room
"This is where you bring your secret lover—or your mistress. And they do. I work the day shift, and around 2:30 pm I see all these 50-year-olds making out in the dark corners."
Handsome and seductive, this longtime lounge (it was one of the only survivors when the Mallory became the Hotel deLuxe) bears a striking resemblance to a scene from the camera of Gordon Willis—all gray pebbles and golden wood, with no windows to challenge the glow of candles. Like the hotel, drinks here take an appropriate Hollywood theme: the Niven ($7) is an especially tasty concoction of Tanqueray gin cut with lemon and a hint of honey. Bar manager Terry McCarthy's cocktails are exceptionally potent: Two French 75s and you'll think the $22 Gracie burger sounds like a steal (which it is during the every-evening happy hour at $11). Don't let the place's smallish size fool you: The bar expands into the hotel lobby, giving it a truly continental feel. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, WI-FI, TV, SMOKE-FREE, LIVE MUSIC. (AWM)
Dublin Pub
Forget your simple black 'n' tan—try Lindemans Framboise mixed with Rogue Chocolate Stout ($8). Yes, it sounds sweet and dessertlike, but it's also dark and manly.
Old beer taps loom overhead in the barroom, 59 drafts encircle the bartender, and at least another 50 bottled brands linger in the walled fridge. Silly Celtic sayings hang on the walls, but the vibe isn't contrived and the patrons aren't smarmy. The den (fireplace included) could hold the entire population of Beaverton, or it could just be the perfect place to settle in for a brewski. HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, TV, LIVE MUSIC, FIREPLACE. (JM)
Duff's Garage
The space was once a functioning garage. For proof, the barkeep motioned to the garage doors at the entrance.
There are two ways to look at this place. Duff's: the cause and solution to all life's problems. Duff's: the bar where rockabilly never died. The decor of checkered flags and vintage race-car signs in this tall-ceilinged space celebrate the era of Dippity Doo. To that end, it tends to attract the no-nonsense, Waterfront Blues Fest crowd—a rockin', beer swillin', baldin' and NASCAR-lovin' throng that fills up the outdoor beer tent on warm evenings. HAPPY HOUR, LIVE MUSIC, OUTDOOR SEATING, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, TV. (BC)
Dunes
Tonic and bitters—an excellent hangover cure.
You're either in the know or lucky if you can find Dunes. Housed in a nondescript building on a shabby block of Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard, without a single sign, the once nearly inaccessible club now just feels like a dirty secret. Inside the long and narrow interior, ultra-dim lighting and a padded leather bar maintain the illicit vibe. Vintage lamps dot the bar, and a mounted stuffed antelope leers down at customers. Drinks are good but not cheap, and when bands or DJs start up the dance party (most weekend nights), damp smoke passes for air. But Dunes feels cool and exclusive, and being there makes you feel the same way. VIDEO POKER, DJs, LIVE MUSIC. (ES)
Eagle Portland
At this place, everybody knows his name (he's the owner's boyfriend).
After much hand-wringing about who actually owns the name "Eagle" in Portland, things are finally becoming normal at this NoPo nightspot. Well, normal for a leather-friendly, bear-loving tavern that shows hardcore gay porn on a big-screen television. Owner Pat Lanagan stirred up some trouble when he took this place over (it used to be called Porky's Pub) and changed its name to Urge, and, eventually, Eagle Portland. Suffice it to say, all the drama has subsided and this Eagle is now enjoying a renaissance of sorts with an attractive mix of local ladies (yes, girls!) who love their video crack mixed in with (often shirtless) hairy guys who love their men. Yes, everyone, it's time to give this place a second chance. HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV/MOVIES (PORN), SMOKING LOUNGE, WI-FI, QUEER. (BB)
East Chinatown Lounge
DJs on dueling iPods (debuts summer 2007).
With its Chinatown location and modern lines, East unites hipster Portland with hip-hop P-town. Sipping in this sleek space is like watching Stanley Kubrick on heroin—Space-Agey, with Asian-inspired hues of deep red and black. Drawn up by Skylab Design Group, the same folks who designed the Doug Fir, East boasts lighting that's at once simple and superb. Try a club-soda-tinged Sparkling Mojito ($8) for a kick in the pants during sets. HAPPY HOUR, DJs, OUTDOOR SEATING, SMOKE-FREE. (MT)
820
We prefer the Lucy Sidecar ($7), but just about anything from owner Lucy Brennan's new book,
, will do the trick.
The queen of the cocktails, Brennan has reinvented the cocktail scene both here and (gulp) pretty much nationally (she was named one of the country's top mixologists this year by Food & Wine) by mixing her wry wit with a nice pour of rye whiskey. Beyond the bar (which seems to attract everyone from wannabe groupies to real live rock stars) lies a sunken lounge perfect for making out while you throw back one of Lucy's signature drinks. Happy Hour, Food/Drink Specials, Outdoor Seating, DJs, Wi-Fi. (BB)
The Egyptian Club
$2 shot nights.
When a queer bar relies on the patrons for character—in this case loads of lesbians—without spending as much time on the look or feel of a place, it's not surprising when the drinks come off feeling a bit neglected. Video-poker machines, beer advertisements and beat-up chairs litter the three-room bar, where a slightly older crowd make their home. Yet many a night it's packed with hot dancers, karaoketeers and poker players. Regardless of the slightly sketchy setup, the E-Room keeps a constant calendar of well-attended events, providing a dose of dykey fun found nowhere else in town. QUEER, HAPPY HOUR, DJs, KARAOKE, GAMES, TV. (AS)
Elbow Room
Stiff drinks in huge glasses.
Every town has a bar like Elbow Room. It's dimly lit, with worn benches that teeter when you sit on them and a cast of regulars, young and old, who have permanently imprinted their asses on their stools. The drinks—frequently on special for $2.50 or less—are cheap and combustible, making this the perfect place for a $10 inebriation. Norman Rockwell couldn't have painted a more accurate, appealing neighborhood dive. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, TV, JUKEBOX. (APK)
Embers
Burly Buttercup may look imposing, but after nine years behind the Embers bar, he's a seen-it-all softy. He also makes a lip-smacking Breast Implant ($6)—ask for one.
Embers may take some heat for not being the gay-exclusive haunt it once was, but don't write it off so quickly. With seven-nights-a-week entertainment ranging from Xbox (Mondays) to Fetish Night (Wednesdays) to drag shows (Thursdays-Sundays; look for sweetie-pie hostess HoneyBee), Embers is nothing if not democratic. Buttercup serves up drinks at the showroom bar, including the lime-tart Breast Implant ($6) and the vodka-fruity Ten-and-a-Half ($6). HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, TV/MOVIES, DJs, SMOKING LOUNGE, WI-FI, KARAOKE, QUEER, DRAG. (SMB)
The Empire Room
Sucker for sour specialties? Empire features the best lemon drop you've never had in Portland.
Run by three local sisters, the Empire Room wants you to feel like a part of the family. This classy and cozy establishment features an elegant European decor, romantic lighting and warm service. Spoil yourself on a Saturday night with the made-from-scratch lobster ravioli ($14) and seductive 7th Heaven Torte ($6) while you kick back and listen to live jazz. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, LIVE MUSIC, SMOKE-FREE. (JB)
Fox and Hounds
Ask Corinne why she wears a C.C. Slaughters shirt—'cause it's not for advertising.
On early Friday nights, this gay bar is always packed to the brim with bears and their brethren. Around the corner from C.C.'s and Darcelle's, this is the place to escape the spectacle of sequins and booty-shaking and enjoy a beer with a friend. Between booths overflowing with bar food and the back room filled with the weekly bear social, the green wood-panelled walls fill the air of this down-to-earth dwelling with the sense of home. Try the onion rings ($4)—they're some of the best in town. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV/MOVIES, GAMES, VIDEO POKER. (WB)
Galaxy Restaurant and Lounge
Bloody Mary, extra blood. "You know you've pissed off your bartender if they bleed into your Bloody Mary."
The best way to have a great time at the Galaxy is to get so astronomically smashed that you really could be anywhere. Luckily, that's pretty easy to do here. There are some good points to this karaoke dive: the killer sound system, the fish-tank wall, the calming aqua booths, the guy in the eye patch singing "That's Life." But the place kind of smells farty, and that hand-painted mural of "outer space" above the bar is tolerable only after about 50 cocktails. KARAOKE, DRINK SPECIALS, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, HAPPY HOUR. (BO)
The Goodfoot Lounge
"We have a huge jukebox," one bartender gripes, "but we hear the same songs all the time."
The Goodfoot has earned its place as one of Southeast Portland's favorites—the place has it all. Upstairs, pinballs and cue balls are constantly rolling, and art displays adorn the walls. In the basement, local and touring acts take the stage, while Fridays are reserved for booty-shake-inspiring DJs. The rotating tap of great beers ($3.50) and housemade food add to the good hippie vibe of the neighborhood mainstay. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, OUTDOOR SEATING, JUKEBOX, DJs, LIVE MUSIC, OPEN MIC. (APK)
Greater Trumps
"The midnight rush," complains Hope, as four guys walk in. "It always makes me wish it was 1:15."
Lodged between two other McMenamins joints—the Bagdad and Back Stage—Greater Trumps (no, its not named for Him) is one of the smokiest bars in Portland. The European-cafe vibe makes it a perfect place to enjoy a cigar or—hallelujah!— purchase a single Nat Sherman (40 cents each). Food and beer are standard McM's fare, but there's an exceptional whiskey spread. Excellent for a leisurely drink or a nightcap. SMOKING LOUNGE, OUTDOOR SEATING, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, GAMES. (APK)
The Green Room
The magical hiccup cure—lime wedges doused in bitters (it's magical!).
The Green Room may appear to be a good ol' neighborhood joint—and it is. From some of Portland's best bartenders—Matthew mixes a Kansas City Ice Water (gin, vodka, lime and 7-Up, $6.50) that'll knock you on your ass—to great karaoke, this pub takes common comforts and steps 'em up a notch. Perfect example: the phenomenal barbecue menu. Go for brisket with mac 'n' cheese ($9.50) or the classic combo of sloppy Joe and tater tots ($6), and you will not go home disappointed (or hungry). HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, VIDEO POKER, PATIO, TV, LIVE MUSIC, KARAOKE, OPEN MIC. (AGM)
Hawthorne Hideaway
"Favorite drink to make? A Manhattan. I believe strongly in a good Manhattan."
Like walking into your kitsch-loving, movie-buff uncle's basement playroom. Pop memorabilia adorn the warmly painted walls, and plenty of other distractions await those who want more from their bar experience than just a glass of suds. Weekly specials include the ubiquitous taco night (two for $1) and educator night (teachers drink cheap—great idea!). Free pool and the happy-hour menu (the mound of Craig's Chili Cheese Fries, $2.95, is as big as your head) comfort the monetarily impaired. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, GAMES, JUKEBOX, DJs, WI-FI. (JL)
Hawthorne Strip
We noticed that the barkeeps never, ever look at the dancers while they're onstage.
The Hawthorne Strip (formerly Dino's) is the least creepy strip club in Portland. The dancers—who only recently acquired a pole—rarely look or act like stereotypical strippers. On a recent visit, a naked woman strutted across the tiny stage while mouthing every word of "Jesse's Girl" (a song she insisted was "sexy"). The former neighborhood dive (turned neighborhood dive with a plasma TV) has a cast of regulars that are more concerned with video poker and ESPN than tits and ass, though the occasional sleazeball is heckled elsewhere by the dancers themselves. Cheap, semi-disgusting appetizers (Li'l Smokies!) and happy-hour pints only add to the forbidden pleasure. Just don't forget to tip the girls. STRIPPERS, LIVE MUSIC, TV, (STRIPPER ONLY) JUKEBOX, VIDEO POKER, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS. (CJ)
Hedge House
"Definitely the C-note."
There's something about Lompoc beers. During the first few sips you recognize the elevated alcohol content, but then forget about it after half of the pint is gone—and you just taste that it's
. It's a relief, then, that the Hedge House comes through with some solid grub, like sandwiches ($6.50) that are even served late. Service is prompt, and tables are only vaguely sticky. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV. (CM)
Holman's Bar & Grill
A rigid Al Capone statue scares customers away from the nonsmoking dining room.
Service and food quality may be a little inconsistent at this classic, vinyl-heavy lounge in trendy TweBu (that's 28th Avenue and Burnside Street, for the uninitiated), but there's a very full bar and lots of draft micros, $3.50 gets you a huge plate of sweet-potato fries, and the booths can't be beat for comfort. If that doesn't have you in the door already, check out mix-your-own Bloody Marys every Sunday. OUTDOOR SEATING, VIDEO POKER, SMOKING LOUNGE, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, TV, JUKEBOX. (BW)
Holocene
Constant, off-the-hook dance parties and the house specialty, the Ginger Rogers ($6).
Experimental and deliciously noisy sounds, stiff drinks, and a chronic dance-party remix on the floor make Holocene a triple threat that brings the heat. A must-have signature cocktail, the Happy Finish ($6), is a tall order of bourbon and Chambord precisely blended with fresh measures of lime and cranberry. But if you're gonna be instigating a dance revolution, throw back the Pocari Sweat ($6.50), a combo of Hakutsuru sake, vodka, soda, sugar and salt (electrolytes!) mixed with a trio of lemon, lime and orange. That'll get the party started. HAPPY HOUR, DJs, LIVE MUSIC, SMOKING LOUNGE, QUEER NIGHTS, DRAG. (EB)
Horse Brass Pub
Discouraging sissies! A snarky barkeep recently told a lemon-drop-requesting customer, "We don't do that."
Much like its namesake—horse brass medallions were once used to ward off mischievous woodland creatures—this wood- and smoke-laden pub wards off annoying bargoers. With no TVs (besides occasional soccer coverage) and no music, folks actually socialize! And, given enough Boddington's ale ($4.95 imperial pints), anyone's a chatty Cathy. Need a topic? How 'bout the endless beer choices, the best fish 'n' chips in town ($9.95 for a half order) or the super-sausage-y merits of the Scotch Egg ($3.95, with chips and veggies)? HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES. (AGM)
Hungry Tiger Too
Even the bartender bemoans the fact that the Tiger's new lair isn't the divey craphole the original Hungry Tiger on 28th Avenue and East Burnside Street was, but you can still get "all-day sippers" like the menacing "Erase Your Face" ($10).
The loss of the original's seedy-dive charm (it went condo) coupled with a confusing attempt at respectability—including a wannabe-posh menu ($14.95 steak, anyone?), dark wood paneling and other pseudo-swanky features—results in a generic, lackluster establishment that will get you drunk and fed, nothing more, nothing less. O Hungry-T, where art thou? HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, TV. (SC)
Imbibe
Favorite drink to make? Margarita.
On a budget but want to impress a first date? This is your place. The dimly lit, elegant yet unpretentious atmosphere creates an intimate, but casual, mood. The lounge is small but shares a kitchen with the larger, main dining area. The food is far better than standard bar fare, and the extensive happy-hour menu provides a less expensive opportunity to sample some of the gracefully prepared offerings (salmon cakes, mussels and sesame chicken skewers are all good and all $3.95 each). HAPPY HOUR, FOOD SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV, LIVE MUSIC, WI-FI. (JL)
Joe's Cellar
A third-beer regular comments on a female bartender's new chest tattoo. She replies, "You just noticed? Wow, I didn't know you ever looked at my face!"
Joe's Cellar, a sprawling half-block complex, has three distinct rooms that become more drunken and lively as you move from the quaint corner restaurant to the noisy game room. The bright corner section looks and feels like a throwback diner, where greasy-spoon food is king and talk about the weather abounds. Next door, over-the-hill all-too-regulars line the low-lit bar, fighting for the young female bartenders' attention. And in the game room, the pool tables are surrounded by serious-looking players who bet and taunt one another over pints of Hef and acres of french fries. Joe's is the kind of bar that makes small-town folk feel right at home in gentrified Northwest Portland. HAPPY HOUR, VIDEO POKER, GAMES, POOL, JUKEBOX, TV, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, WI-FI. (CJ)
Jolly Inn
"I like working here in a real people bar rather than a fancy place. You can tell people to screw off if you have to."
By day, this bare-bones dive is a quiet refuge for blue-collar types hoping for better days. On weekend nights it morphs into a loud rocker bar. No hard liquor, but there are three taps and a cooler full of bottled beer. I know they also serve wine because I saw the box of merlot on a shelf behind the bar, next to the hot sauce, above the jars of pickled eggs and Hot Mama sausages. Also:
pinball! HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, TV, LIVE MUSIC. (JL)
Jolly Roger
Ask for the server's recommendation and you might end up with bottom-shelf Myer's rum and pineapple juice.
Despite all odds, this member of the cheesy Cheerful Tortoise sports-bar chain is actually kind of agreeable. Every surface is covered with neon beer signs and pirate kitsch. TVs show up to four games at once, possibly including (we kid you not) a pro bratwurst-eating contest. The menu is equally free of reserve, offering every type of greasy food ever served in a bar, from teriyaki to pizza, at rock-bottom prices. Wash down your trans fats with a fruity bubble-bath drink like the Banana Supreme ($6.50) and call it a night. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, VIDEO POKER, TV, LIVE MUSIC, DJs, GAMES. (SC)
Kells
Favorite drink? East Coast (7-Up, pineapple juice and "a shitload of Captain Morgan's"). "Who said it had to be Irish?"
An Irish bar that doesn't overdo the Celtic/Riverdance thing, Kells is a popular haunt (and pickup joint) for thirtysomething (and up) professionals. Live music every night and a great pub menu keep them coming back. Try the shepherd's pie ($10) or sweet-potato fries ($5). Smoking allowed in the cool cellar bar downstairs. HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, FOOD SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, TV, SMOKING LOUNGE, LIVE MUSIC, FIREPLACE, WI-FI. (JP)
Kelly's Olympian
The toughest drink anybody has ever ordered? A shot of tequila and mayonnaise.
Tough guys and saucy gals have been drinking here for more than a century. The Shanghai Tunnels are rumored to run underneath, while 12 vintage motorcycles hang from the ceiling. Plenty has changed in the place, like the historic card room now full of video-poker machines. But the glowing neon lights keep this place full every day. For $3, get a giant plate of fries and talk it up with the working stiffs about the bus mall. VIDEO POKER, TV, HAPPY HOUR, LIVE MUSIC, DJs, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS. (BC)
Kenton Club
"If y'all are coming in here, you better be ready to dance," announced a 60-something gentleman less than five minutes after we entered.
The good vibe at this expansive, rustic, deep-NoPo institution is overwhelming. Drinks are cheap—a good beer and a well whiskey runs $6—and the service is friendly: The bartender waived the $10 minimum on credit-card charges without a blink. Kenton Club's about the folks—from blue-collar neighborhood folks, urban cowboys and college kids to hipsters and old-timers (in the most literal sense). Everyone's there, and everyone's glad to have you there with them. OPEN MIC, LIVE MUSIC, HAPPY HOUR, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, GAMES, VIDEO POKER. (MB)
Kiknbaque Lounge
$1 PBR, 4-7 pm.
It's nice having an MLK "neighborhood" joint open that isn't trying to redefine the neighborhood. The new owners of the bar (once known as Chances) grew up blocks away from the Kiknbaque. Vestiges of Chances still abound: The taps are limited to four; the burning-city mural is still visible behind some newer, brighter, more welcoming artwork; and there are still plenty of old-timers with shaky hands and nicotine-stained fingers. The food menu's decidedly deep-fryer-based, but the entertainment makes up for it with weekly jazz and a rotating cast of MCs. LIVE MUSIC, HAPPY HOUR, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, GAMES, VIDEO POKER. (MB)
The Lamp
"You guys don't mind if we watch
, do you?"
Despite attempts to make it a "real" bar, the Lamp's primary purpose is as a pre-funk destination for the adjacent Aladdin Theater. That's a shame, as the Brooklyn bar offers almost everything one could ask for: a nice selection of beers on tap, the best burgers in the neighborhood ($8 with blue cheese and bacon) and a laid-back, agreeable staff. Ambience is in short supply—stock carpeting and stiff chairs fill out the room—but I'll take the picture window that looks out on one of Portland's crashiest intersections (Milwaukie and Powell) over ambience any day. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD/DRINK SPECIALS, LIVE MUSIC, OUTDOOR SEATING, VIDEO POKER, TV. (CJ)
Langano Lounge
Favorite drink to make? When it's busy, it's all about rum and Coke.
A wonderful little secret (that just might be closing its doors). A full bar run by skilled bartenders and food from the kitchen of Jarra's Ethiopian Restaurant upstairs provide the beginnings of a simple night out with friends in a nice little hideaway. It's mostly quiet enough in here for a small group to solve the world's problems without having to break a whisper, but on nights with DJs you might want to retreat to the back room if you still insist on conversing. Let's hope it stays in business. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK/FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, TV, DJs, SMOKING LOUNGE. (JL)
LaurelThirst Public House
Who orders Stella by the pitcher, anyway?
This funky neighborhood joint—the sort of bare-brick place where "decor" means "nail weird shit to the walls"—takes value seriously: From 9 am to 5 pm, micro pints are $1 off and pool is free. Even after happy hour, a pitcher of domestic microbrew will set you back only $11. Sure, the bar is beer-only and the waitstaff will ignore you even on a slow night, but the grub is good and the tunes—especially from the Monday-night house jazz band, the Kung Pao Chickens—got soul. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, LIVE MUSIC, GAMES. (BW)
WWeek 2015