Portlandia, Season 5, Episode 8: Really Real

Put a Cap on It: Enough artifice—the twee shops, the stupid hobbies, the pet causes. This episode satirizes the stuff that actually makes a city: real estate.

The show opens with Fred and Carrie in an advertisement for one of those tiny, trendy homes. Fred and Carrie’s characters in it have everything: a combination bathroom-home office, a TV over the bathtub and quarters so close that they can feel each other breathe.

Hometown talent Kristine Levine and her partner see the ad and decide that they want one like it—”We could live like that—we’re free spirits!” says Levine. But first, they have to sell their house on Oak. The only person that comes is a guy that just likes looking at houses with no intention of buying, so they hire a real estate agent (Anna Gunn), who then hires home showers, who clear out their butt plug collection, sex swing and stuffed animals, and replace them with yuppie trappings like a chair upholstered to look like newsprint.

Meanwhile, after a fight with his girlfriend, Fred and Carrie’s landlord, Milton (Steve Buscemi) moves back into their house. They try asserting their tenants’ rights—with respective net worths estimated at $5 and $7 million, it’s probably the first time Carrie and Fred have thought about them in a while—but Milton (Mr. Buscemi’s worth a cool $35 mill) isn’t going anywhere, so they begin looking to buy a house.

But Kath and Dave, Carrie and Fred’s tight-ass characters, have run out of stuff to remodel in their house, so they’re on the hunt for a fixer-upper, too. The “fixer-upper” that they first find is a crack house, where that means something way different to people with burning shopping carts in their front yards, so they keep looking. All the storylines connect at Kristine’s open house. The real estate agent pick Fred and Carrie to get the house—they wrote a really nice letter. But escrow is really confusing, so they back out, and Dave and Kath get it

Best Bits: The Looky Lou is pretty funny. “You think I can do an Air B ‘n’ B here?” he asks. Before Kristine can respond, he asks “What is an Air B ‘n’ B?”

But props have to go to Ms. Levine herself.  Her part feels more substantial than it has been in her past appearances. She puts it to good use, telling the realtor “I’d love to see you with my husband” and choosing who to sell to  by spinning around in a circle with the same trademark charm.

Duds: There’s actually nothing in this episode that feels like it was written to fill time. The thing that’s weird about it is what it didn’t include. This is an episode about real estate—Portland real estate—that doesn’t use the word “gentrification.” No matter where you fall on the scale from “livable, walkable city” to “I’m gonna burn your fucking condo to the ground,” it’s a thing that people—particularly people in Portland—talk about. And the conversation around gentrification has so much to do with privilege, righteous indignation and hypocrisy—the exact stuff Portlandia satirizes. This should’ve been a layup.

Deep Cuts: None of the addresses that they show on screen are real, but we’ve already established that they don’t use those. What is real, however, is the tiny house community that Fred and Carrie live in at the beginning of the show—well, it’s a hotel. It’s called Caravan,and it’s in Alberta.

Grade: B. This episode is one of the better-written ones of the season. Its about a very Portlandia subject. None of the sketches go on for too long, and they all tie together neatly at the end.