Hey You Guys: Jeff "Chunk" Cohen on Astoria, Heroism and Dead Deer

Goonies Tour of Astoria | Oral History of the Goonies | Goonie Stars Then and Now

 Goonie 30th Anniversary Events | Why's Cyndi Lauper Hate "Good Enough"?

Astoria Fish n Chips | Astoria Beer | Oregon's Biggest Films | Astoria Film History 

Usually, when you check in on a former child star, you're overcome with sadness and the urge to check for accidental needle pokes.

That's not the case with Jeff B. Cohen, who will forever be remembered to the masses as Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen, Truffle Shuffler, lover of rocky road, friend to Sloth and overlooked beating heart of the Goonies.

These days, you probably wouldn't recognize Cohen. Gone are his belly flaps and curly hair, replaced by a svelte frame and shaved head. He's got his own entertainment law firm in Beverly Hills, and a new book called The Deal Maker's Ten Commandments that's all about wheeling and dealing in Hollywood. Hell, dude can't even Truffle Shuffle anymore.

But despite sounding like he might pal around with dickhead Troy nowadays, it turns out that Cohen's still got a big heart and a deep love for The Goonies. This weekend, June 5-7, he returns to Astoria for Goonies Day. Turns out, he returns more often than you'd think. We chatted him over the phone and discovered, to our delight, that he still hasn’t said “die.” He’s just an unfortunate victim of puberty. 

WW: So, you're an entertainment lawyer now. Did you just decide to quit acting?

Jeff B. Cohen: No way man. Puberty created a forced retirement. Puberty won. I was a chunky kid. I would play the funny little fat kid. I went from Chunk to the gorgeous hunk I am now (laughs), and I couldn't get work. I don't think anyone quits acting intentionally. It's the best job. You get to play make believe and dress up. They feed you. There's food on the set all day. You get to travel. Acting's the best gig of all time. I like being an entertainment lawyer, but being an actor is hard to beat. 

Still, you had some pretty cool roles.

I was on a very special episode of Webster. I'm super proud of that. And probably a less special episode of Facts of Life. And Kids Incorporated. That was the worst thing I ever did. I had to do a dance number. I had to dance to Prince's "Baby I'm a Star." It was so bad that even I, when watching it as a kid, in the middle of it I turned it off. It was so bad even I was like, "No man. I'm gonna get some Twinkies and think about it.’” 

Are you sick of still talking about The Goonies three decades later?

I'm a transactional entertainment lawyer. I negotiate deals. Normally, I'm so in that world that I don't come out for Goonies stuff. Now because I have the book to promote, and the 30th anniversary, it's fun to talk about it. Normally, it's so far removed. Normally, with my clients, I'm lucky if I'm the fifth most-famous person in the room. So it's kind of fun to be celebrated momentarily, ya know?

What were your first impressions of Astoria?

I was excited to be in a movie. The first scenes we did were in Astoria, then we went to Warner Brothers for the sound stage, then Bodega Bay for the end. I grew up in the San Fernando Valley, which is hot and dry. To go to a longshoreman's town in the most northern part of Oregon was exotic and overcast and mysterious. It was a little overwhelming.

Do you remember exploring the town?

I was recovering from the chickenpox. We kind of kept that to ourselves, which wasn't good. But I didn't want to get kicked out of the movie. One of the earlier scenes I shot was the Truffle Shuffle. If you look, all my belly, I have chickenpox and they had to put makeup on it. It was overwhelming. It's a new cast. It's a new world. And I have to keep this secret and hide and stay separate. 

I really love Astoria. It's so different (from L.A.). Even as a kid, it was fun and exciting. There's this amazing bridge. The weather was different. I loved Seaside. If I had a day off, I'd play in the arcade over there. Even going to the different restaurants. The hotel they put us up at—the Thunderbird—it was right on the water, so you had the view. It was a fun way to kick off the day. I could order whatever I wanted, because I was in a movie.
 

Ecola State Park is just about the windiest place in the world. What was it like to be sick there?

Cohen: My outfit is a Hawaiian shirt, because of course, fat kids wear Hawaiian shirts and plaid pants. Both are very thin material. That wind goes right through. I had a red, paper-thin little jacket. I was freezing my ass off. You're supposed to wear a Hawaiian shirt in Hawaii. That's why it's called a Hawaiian shirt. It is appropriate for tropical weather, not freezing-your-ass-off Oregon weather.

Was there a lot of culture shock between Astorians and the Hollywood people?

Cohen: I was in the restaurant in the Thunderbird Hotel (where cast and crew stayed). There was a commotion, people looking out the window. The L.A. people were freaking out. It was a hunter who had come back, and had a deer he had shot strapped to his car. He was proud of it; it was a good deer. And all the L.A. people were like, "What the fuck, get that out of there." Dick Donner is such an animal lover. It was interesting to see these cultures clash. It's like, "I'm proud, I shot this 10-point buck," and all the L.A. people are like, "Get that fucking car out of here, what's wrong with you, you murderer."

Did you ever return for non-Goonie stuff?

Cohen: We would still go up there for vacation, and I would go up for the longshoremen's picnic. They'd smoke their meat and bury it for certain times. All this crazy awesome food. For me that was always interesting. A really fun and special thing around Astoria.

You seem to have really connected to the city. Did you connect to the castmates as well?

Cohen: Karen Martin (the waitress from Thunderbird, whom the Cohens befriended and visited regularly), she became a close friend of the family. It's one way versus the other. You're close to the cast because you have that shared experience. But I think I'm closer to the people of Astoria. It was different, and they were so kind. It's a different value system.

In the movie, you eat a lot of sweets. Did you ever get sick of that?

The thing about being a fat kid is, it's impossible for a fat kid to get sick of eating pizza and ice cream. But the last thing you want to do as a fat kid is shake your belly. But that's why child actors do a lot of drugs. They have a lot of stuff to work out. But ultimately, it was worth it. If shaking my fat belly was the cost of becoming a cultural icon, I can accept it. Pain is temporary and victory is eternal. I'll take it.

Did you get sick of the chubby kid jokes?

My inspiration was Spanky from The Little Rascals. He was the chubby, funny little guy. I wanted to be like him. He was awesome and cool and he made me laugh and made me happy. He took so much ribbing, I was like, "This is part of the game." It didn't bother me. It was the price I was willing to pay to make people laugh.

You spent most of your time with John Matusak. Were you close with him?

It's funny. He was very nice, but he was enormous. When he played in the NFL, he was literally the biggest guy in the NFL. I remember watching the old NFL films and seeing him just beating the shit out of people was shocking to me. He's Sloth. He's my buddy. Seeing him go nuts on an offensive lineman was unbelievable.

You're 10 years old. You've hanging out with Sloth and a dead body. Did any of this stuff scare you as a kid?

The scariest thing was the blender scene. The blades were rubber, so if my fingers went in it my hand wouldn't be cut off. But even if that's the case, it sure looks real. And it sounded real. Nobody wanted to test the rubber blades. That was a little scary.

What was the most fun? I mean, you didn't even get to go down the big water slide.

They actually, after shooting that scene, allowed the cast to have fun for a couple hours. But I didn't do it in the movie. I think the most fun, for the fat kid, was craft services. You have constant access to food at any time. Not only on set, but there was a nice food truck. They'd be like "what do you want for breakfast, fat kid?" And I'd say "What can you do?" "We can do anything you want. You want a hamburger, we'll make a hamburger. Want spaghetti? We'll make spaghetti.” Having unlimited access to food was an amazing treat.
 

All right, so recently, I realized that Chunk is the hero. More than anybody. Chunk and Sloth save the day. Everyone else sets themselves up to get killed.

I couldn't agree more. Without Chunk, they walk the plank and that's it. It's a terribly sad ending. Children weeping and drowning. I agree. Chunk and Sloth save the day.
 

My editor said Chunk sets it all in motion. I say he's forced into this shit. Does anyone else recognize this?

No. They don't. But you do, and I wholeheartedly agree with your position. That's right. Chunk saves the day. He's like, pre-lawyer. "I know this is dangerous. I'm risk averse. I'm looking for the liability. Due diligence shows you shouldn't be in the weird cave.”
 

Chunk tries to stop them.

Cohen: He's like, "Fine, I guess I have to befriend this monster, put on a pirate hat and save the day."

Goonies Tour of Astoria | Oral History of the Goonies | Goonie Stars Then and Now

 Goonie 30th Anniversary Events | Why's Cyndi Lauper Hate "Good Enough"?

Astoria Fish n Chips | Astoria Beer | Oregon's Biggest Films | Astoria Film History 

WWeek 2015