Skip to main contentA local business owner has united with law enforcement to identify and bring to justice a serial defecator deemed the "Portland Pooperâ who has been making a mess in Southeast Portland in recent weeks.
While his acts may be disgusting, "Portland Pooper" may in fact be the most pleasing criminal name to say out loud ever in the history of criminal names. Try it. We'll wait.
KOIN 6 reports the business owner (who chose to remain anonymous) caught wind of the Portland Pooper after noticing human feces in the parking lot of a building they owned. The business owner responded by setting up a discreet security camera in an attempt to catch the Portland Pooper on film.
The plan worked, providing the first look at the Portland Pooper. The video shows that he even brings his own toilet paper because, apparently, there's a line between being psychopathic public serial pooper and being a psychopathic public serial pooper with dirty drawers.
The business owner has already filed a police report. Authorities told KOIN 6 the man could face charges of public indecency and âoffensive littering,â a legal term which understates the grossness of this crime to an astonishing degree.
The police are still in search of a suspect. Anyone who spots the Portland Pooper can call the Portland Police department's nonemergency line, or direct the disturbed man to the nearest porta-potty surrounded by homeless people. They've been known to take care of situations like this.
Also: Portland Pooper. Portland Pooper. Portland Pooper.
WWeek 2015